


Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy – One Shots

by DarkBluePhoenix



Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy – One Shot Collection [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9915926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkBluePhoenix/pseuds/DarkBluePhoenix
Summary: Meet the heroes and heroines of Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy. Not long enough to be chapters, and able to stand on their own, these stories illustrate the personal relationships between the main characters and deal with funny and otherwise interesting situations, and are placed within the NGE: Legacy timeline. Kinda WAFF, and definitely funny.





	1. Asuka's the Champion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Silvermoonlight_GJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvermoonlight_GJ/gifts), [progdor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/progdor/gifts).



Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Asuka's the Champion

* * *

 

Asuka was sitting in her Entry plug, waiting for her next opponent. Unit–02 was carrying a large axe, covered in blood. Laying around her were the corpses of Sachiel, Shamshel, Ramiel, Gaghiel, Israfel, Sandalphon, and Matarael. Unit–02 only had a few scratches on it, and the blood from the Angels was barely visible on its red armor.

The new challenger was approaching. "Humph, so you think you can take on the champ?!" Asuka asked her next opponent.

"You are not that good." Rei said as Unit–00 walked into the ring, carrying a double ended trident. "I will defeat you."

"Fat chance, wundergirl!" Asuka said. "CHARGE!"

Unit–02 leapt forward and swung the axe at Unit–00. Unit–00 jumped back and dodged the swing, and sung her trident towards, Unit–02. Unit–02 slid to the right and grabbed the trident, and spun it around, with Unit–00 gripping on for dear life.

"AAHHHHH!" Rei screamed. "Soryu, stop this!"

"Time to sleep wundergirl!" Asuka shouted as she let go of the trident, sending Rei and Unit–00 crashing into the wall, and slumping over, its eye going to dark, indicating it had shut down. Unit–02 grabbed its axe off the ground and stood ready.

"Yeah, eat that wundergirl!" Asuka shouted proudly. "8 wins, 0 losses… undefeated baby! Now who dares challenge me next?!"

"I'll take you on princess!" Mari shouted. "I want a good fight!" Unit–XP rolled onto stage. "Come on, princess, are you scared of me?!"

"Not a chance four eyes!" Asuka shouted. "You can't beat me!"

Mari smirked. "You wanna bet, princess? I'm pretty fucking good at this piloting thing we do."

"Yeah, my ass you're good!" Asuka shouted. "LET'S GO!" Unit–02 charged forward raising the axe over its head. And swung it at Unit–XP.

"FUCK YEAH!" Mari roared. "COME ON, PRINCESS! TRY AND STOP ME!" Unit–XP lunged forward and raised its lance to block the axe. "Is that the best you got princess?"

"Not yet, four eyes!" Asuka replied snidely. Unit–02 swung the axe around its head its head three times and brought it down on the joint connecting the lance to Unit–XP, and broke off the lance, and threw it aside.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Mari screamed. "That hurt princess, now I'm gonna have to take that pain out of your sweet ass!" Unit–XP charged forward with its remaining arm, and grabbed Unit–02 by the neck. "How you like me now, bitch?"

Unit–02 dropped the axe and opened both of its shoulder pylons and reached for its twin Prog Knives. "TAKE THIS, FOUR EYES!" Unit–02 pulled them out and stabbed Unit–XP in the chest.

"AAHHHHH!" Mari screamed. "THAT'S NOT NICE, PRINCESS!" Unit–XP's clamp slackened its grip on Unit–02's neck, allowing Unit–02 time to escape. Asuka rolled and grabbed her axe, and swung it at Unit–XP's head, taking it clean off.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Mari shouted. "HOW DARE YOU WRECK MY EVA!"

"Just be lucky you escaped with your life, four eyes!" Asuka cackled as she pulled out her Prog Knives. "9 and 0, still undefeated suckers! Who's left?"

"Just me Asuka…" Shinji said, moving Unit–01 onto the field, sword held aloft in Unit–01's right hand. "Don't make me have to fight you Asuka, I don't want to…"

"You'll have to fight me, baka Shinji!" Asuka shouted. "We need to prove once and for all who's better! I want to know!"

"Asuka we don't have to do this." Shinji said. "We can just go back to the apartment and…"

"No, baka!" Asuka shouted. "IT'S TIME TO FIGHT!" Asuka raised the axe and Unit–02 charged.

Unit–01 stood ready with its sword in a defensive posture. "You asked for it Asuka!" Shinji shouted. "BRING IT ON!"

The two Evangelions charged at each other savagely. Their weapons collided with such force the both broke in two sending each blade flying into the wall. They jumped back from each other and cast their damaged weapons aside.

"FINE!" They both shouted. "PROG KNIVES IT IS!"

Unit–01 and Unit–02's pylons opened, and they pulled out their twin Prog Knives and charged each other again. Their Prog Knives sparked and crackled against each other as they were locked in a grapple.

"Hey, baka, you feel like giving up?!" Asuka asked.

"Not a chance, Asuka!" Shinji shouted. "You have to earn this win!"

"I wouldn't want it any… other… WAY!" Asuka roared.

"Good… let's make… it… COUNT!" Shinji roared back.

The force of the two Evangelions pressing their Prog Knives against each other caused them to crack and splintering where they were touching. The continued force of their strength pressing against each other caused the blades to snap in half and break apart. The two Evangelions jumped away from each other again.

"FINE, HAND TO HAND COMBAT THEN!" Asuka shouted.

"NO HOLDS BARRED, ASUKA!" Shinji yelled. "DON'T HOLD BACK!"

"I DON'T PLAN ON IT!" Asuka roared back.

Unit–01 charged first, landing a left hook to Unit–02's face, and following it up with a right uppercut. Unit–02 countered with a roundhouse kick to Unit–01's gut. Unit–02 charged landing its knee in Unit–01's gut, and following it up with a savage head–butt. Unit–01 staggered back, and recovered.

Unit–01 struggled with its jaw lock bolts, and after some effort, broke them and opened its jaws wide and let out a mighty cry. " ** _ROOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!_** "

Unit–02 responded in kind and broke its own jaw bolts and opened its own mouth wide. " ** _ROOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!_** "

The eyes of both Evangelions were glowing brightly. Not their artificial eyes, but their real ones. They stared each other down and charged one last time, their pilots screaming savagely. The two Evangelions collided and began savagely beating each other, trading punches and kicks, causing lots of external damage. Unit–02 grabbed Unit–01 by the neck, and bit down, and pushed its hands against Unit–01's chest. Unit–01 gave Unit–02 a powerful kidney punch and they staggered away from each other. Unit–02 charged again, landing a punch to Unit–01's chest, causing its armor to buckle severely. Unit–02 picked up the stunned Unit–01 and threw it at the wall, causing to bounce off and hit the ground hard. Unit–01 shut down and was declared inoperable.

"ALRIGHT!" Asuka yelled happily. "10 and 0, I'm undefeated!"

Unit–02 was little banged up from its last fight, but there were no other challengers, so Asuka was the winner, the unbeaten winner.

"I'm so fast, and I'm so pretty I cannot be stopped, I'm unbeatable!" Asuka shouted. "I am the greatest Evangelion pilot of all time!"

–––

March 5, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Asuka was laying on the couch asleep, mumbling to herself, her fist punching the air lightly. "I am… the greatest… I am the greatest…"

Shinji and Mari were sitting at the kitchen table. Both were watching Asuka with a great deal of interest.

"I wonder what has the princess so happy?" Mari asked.

"I don't know, but it's kinda cute." Shinji said staring cutely at Asuka's sleeping form.

"AWWWW!" Mari said squeezing Shinji half to death. "Someone has a crush!"

"No… it's not… I don't!" Shinji stammered.

"Yes you do, you always stammer when you're hiding something." Mari said.

"No I don't!" Shinji exclaimed defiantly.

"Well, I'm going to poke her and see what happens…" Mari said devilishly.

"Mari, don't!" Shinji begged. "You're just going to get hurt!"

"Whatever happens, it'll be worth it." Mari said as she snuck over to Asuka.

–––

"Hey, Shinji, didn't you hear me?" Asuka asked. "I'm the greatest!" Asuka didn't get a response. "Shinji, are you ok?"

Asuka looked out and saw that Unit–01 was pretty badly damaged and lying face down on the ground.

"Shinji!" Asuka screamed. "SHINJI!"

Asuka kneeled her EVA down and shut it down, and rushed out of the Entry Plug. She ran over to Unit–01 and saw Mari and Rei helping Shinji out of his Entry Plug. Asuka ran over and Mari was about to give an unconscious Shinji mouth to mouth.

"Not so fast four eyes!" Asuka yelled. "Don't you touch my baka!" Asuka shoved Mari out of the way, knocking her on her ass. "Only I can kiss him!"

"Yeah, says the girl afraid to show her feelings." Mari muttered.

"Are you alright, Mari?" Rei asked.

"Yeah blueberry, I'm good, the princess can't hurt me." Mari said.

Asuka looked at Shinji. "Why did I have to go so far… I just wanted to prove who was the best, but… I didn't want it to hurt you!" Asuka teared up. "The thing is baka… I like you… I'm just too afraid to tell you… I didn't mean to cause all this…" Asuka leaned down to kiss him…

–––

Mari poked Asuka's boob. "Heya, champ… WAKEY, WAKEY!"

"Hmmm…" Asuka stirred, her lips puckered. "You're not… FOUR EYES!" Asuka screamed as her fist shot up and caught Mari under the chin and landed her on her ass. "What the hell is your problem?! You can't scare people like that!" Asuka fumed.

Mari picked herself up off the ground and looked at her. "Why so mad, princess?" Mari purred. "Did I interrupt a sex dream? Was Shinji ravaging you, or were you imaging the blueberry doing unspeakable things…"

"What?!" Asuka asked. "Why would I have a sex dream? I don't need that!"

"Hmmm… so you were having one about me then… how kinky princess." Mari's eyes glinted. "So, was I any good? Did I get you off? Were you screaming my name…"

"Come here so I can whoop your ass!" Asuka shouted as Shinji ran in and grabbed Asuka around the waist. "Let go of me, baka!"

"Asuka, calm down." Shinji pleaded. "You shouldn't hit Mari, it's not right."

"The hell it isn't, she's a degenerate pervert!" Asuka screamed. "And you deal with perverts by hitting them really hard!"

"So… then that dream was about me and Shinji taking you together then, huh princess?" Mari asked as she chuckled to herself. "Did you like that at all, princess? Was it fun for you? It must have been, because you're blushing. Imagining us both naked are you? You little red headed devil you…"

"I'm going to kick your fucking ass, four eyes!" Asuka roared.

"Mari, stop." Shinji said forcibly as he struggled to restrain Asuka. "You're upsetting her a lot more than usual."

"Oh, Shinji, you're no fun." Mari said.

"Mari…" Shinji said, glaring at her as he started to lose his grip on Asuka.

"Alright, I'll stop." Mari said. "But you owe me a favor that I'm taking tonight!" Mari smiled devilishly. "I'm sleeping in your room tonight, puppy."

"Sure, and I'll take your bed." Shinji said. "And Asuka won't try to kill you in your sleep."

"No, puppy, you're sleeping in your bed, with me, that's the price…" Mari said. "Don't worry, I don't bite… much…"

"Don't even think of touching him!" Asuka shouted.

"Jealous, princess?" Mari asked.

"What?!" Asuka screeched.

"Awww, you have crush on the puppy…" Mari said sweetly. "How adorable, its _puppy love_!"

"I don't… you're crazy four eyes!" Asuka shouted. "What are you smoking?!"

"So, puppy, we got a deal?" Mari asked.

"Yeah…" Shinji said. "I guess so…"

"Good, you'll be the little spoon." Mari said happily as she walked to Shinji's room. "I don't want to be woken up by a hard prick on my back, yours would hurt!"

"What?!" Asuka shouted.

"Mari!" Shinji said. "You said you'd stop!"

"Yeah, yeah." Mari said waiving her hand. "That was the last one, I promise. Goodnight now, princess. Hurry up puppy, you don't want to keep me waiting…"

Shinji sighed as Mari walked away, and when she disappeared, Asuka stopped struggling.

"Baka Shinji!" Asuka shouted. "Why would you agree to that?!"

"So she'd stop teasing you, Asuka." Shinji said. "I don't like when you two hurt each other. You're my friends, I just wish you'd get along better."

"Do you really mean that?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, I do." Shinji said. "So just try and relax, ok?"

"You're not… going to let her do anything, right?" Asuka asked. "You know…"

"And you call boys perverts." Shinji said. "No, we're just going to sleep, she's not going to try anything." Shinji smiled. "We're just friends, that's all, Asuka. Unless you _are_ jealous."

"I'm not jealous…" Asuka blushed. "I just don't want her doing anything to you against your will…"

Shinji gave Asuka a quick hug. "Thanks Asuka. That's really sweet of you."

"You're welcome, baka…" Asuka said. 'Why can't I just tell him? Am I really that afraid of needing someone?' Asuka thought.

"Goodnight, Asuka." Shinji said as he walked away. "See you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Shinji…" Asuka replied. 'I wish I was the one sleeping next to you…'

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly after Chapter 12 of Episode IV, but before Chapter 1 of Episode V.

So, this one shot is for two things. One, to show what Asuka really thinks in her beautiful red haired head. So, her dream was of course cut short by Mari, who loves meddling with things, and especially getting under Asuka's skin. Mari got what she deserved for interrupting mind you, but she'll never learn. And her love (or infatuation at this point) is strong for Shinji, and it's cute to see her react to Mari's teasing, and to Shinji's kindness.

The second reason I wrote this one shot was as a tribute to the late, and still the greatest boxer to ever live, Muhammad Ali (1/17/1942 – 6/3/2016). Asuka's line of "I am the greatest." Was said by Ali many times during his fighting years, and he was, winning the Heavyweight Championship three separate times, the only boxer to ever do so.

While I wrote this, I listened to _Billy Crystal's 15 Rounds of Muhammad Ali (Full Feature HD)_ on YouTube [just search that there and you can find it] a few dozen times for inspiration.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	2. Panty Raid

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Panty Raid

* * *

 

March 19, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

It was Saturday night, and Shinji was already in bed, after having a long day of chores, and cleaning to do. Even with Mari's limited help, he as abler to accomplish everything he needed to, but was now thoroughly exhausted. Mari and Asuka were in their bedroom putting away the clothes Shinji had just laundered before going to bed. Against Shinji's wishes, they had forced him to clean their underwear seeing as they didn't know how to use the washing machines. They were nearly done, but Asuka noticed she was still missing something.

"Hey, four eyes, do you have a pair of red panties with a little gold star on the ass?" Asuka asked. "Shinji must have stolen them. The little pervert…"

"Hold on princess, Shinji didn't exactly want to clean our underwear. Why would he steal them exactly? What does he get out of doing that?" Mari asked.

"Some perverted thrill I imagine…" Asuka muttered.

"Princess, I've told you, the puppy is not a pervert!" Mari said indignantly. "He is the sweetest little boy in the world! He treats women with courtesy and respect!"

"Yeah, says you…" Asuka said snidely.

"Listen princess, you can tease him all you want but don't accuse him of being something he's not." Mari said angrily. "It's wrong to accuse anyone of something untruthfully."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll keep that in mind." Asuka said. "So, have you found my panties yet, four eyes, or did your soapboxing distract from the search?"

"No, princess, unlike you and your _narrow_ mind, I can actually multitask." Mari said proudly. "Oooh, here they are. These are pretty cute princess, I may just keep them."

Asuka jumped over her bed and snatched them right from Mari's hand. "Not a chance, four eyes! These are my favorite panties! You can have them!"

"Touchy, touchy princess…" Mari joked. "You seem so very attached to them, do they make you feel sexy?" Mari asked. "Or do you play with yourself while you wear them?"

"WHAT!?" Asuka screamed. "I can see why you know Shinji isn't a pervert, you're the fucking pervert!"

'She is so easy to mess with it's almost not fun… _almost_ …' Mari thought. "So, you _do_ touch yourself while you wear them." Mari purred. "How cute."

"I do _not_ touch myself!" Asuka roared.

"Oh, please, Asuka, you can't lie to me." Mari said. "Why else would it take you over an hour in the tub?"

"I like to relax!" Asuka screamed. "Not everything is about sex!"

"But you flirt so much, princess." Mari quipped. "Everything is about sex with you." Mari contorted her face like Asuka's. " _Look at my womanly figure_ … _I'm so pretty_ …" Mari mocked.

"SHUT UP!" Asuka screamed at the top of her lungs.

Shinji slid open their door. "Hey, will you guys quiet down. Some of us are actually trying to sleep instead of just talking about masturbating."

Mari bent over laughing, clutching her stomach, and Asuka just stared at Shinji in shock.

"Good, now that you've stopped yelling Asuka, I can get some sleep." Shinji said. "And Mari, quit teasing her, you know you're quite good at getting under people's skin."

Mari stood back up. "Sure, puppy, I'll leave her alone so you can get some sleep."

"Thanks, Mari." Shinji said. "Goodnight."

Asuka's eyes narrowed angrily. "Get out already, baka!" Asuka yelled. "Stop flirting with four eyes!"

"If you think being friendly is flirting you have clearly _never_ been flirted with." Mari said. "Goodnight, Shinji."

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?!" Asuka shouted as Shinji slid their door shut. "Mien Gott, you're such a pain in the ass!"

"Well, if I'm going to be a pain in someone's ass, it may as well be nice cute one like yours." Mari purred. "Oh Shinji, he's got a cute ass too."

"Mien Gott, I hate Misato for sticking you in here with me." Asuka said in a defeated voice as she placed her red panties into the drawer and hopped into bed. "Just leave me alone…"

"I said I would." Mari said, moving over to the door and shutting off the lights. "Shinji asked me too and I will." Mari smirked in the darkness. 'However, he didn't say to not prank you at all…' Mari thought deviously.

Asuka lay in bed, thinking hard while she heard Mari giggle under her breath. 'Great, Shinji saw me being mean… again. But why do I care so much about what he thinks… it's not like I actually like him or anything…. right? I don't need anyone else, I'm fine on my own… And why does that bitch Mari get under my skin so much? It's like she knows everything I'm thinking… it's weird. And why is he fascinated if I touch myself. Just because she touches herself doesn't mean everyone does, right? I'm mature and grown up enough, I don't need to be such a kid and play with myself, only kids do that. And sure, those panties make me feel pretty, but it's more that they're my favorite color, and I like the way I look in them. Why does Mari tease me so much anyway… not that I care… I can handle anything someone throws at me, because I'm the toughest Evangelion pilot there is.'

* * *

March 20, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

It was a lovely Sunday. Asuka had left for the morning with Hikari bright and early, Misato was at NERV for the day doing some such thing with Ritsuko, and Toji and Kensuke were stuck at home, catching up on the work they had missed, and Rei was, well somewhere, effectively leaving Shinji and Mari home alone in the peace and quiet that existed when Asuka and Misato were out. Shinji had decided to take a nap, as his sleep had been interrupted by Mari and Asuka's verbal tussle the night before. So, Mari enacted her plan while Shinji was dead asleep. Mari snuck into Shinji's room, and hid something under his bed, hoping it would get Asuka back for last night.

'See princess, I'm going to show you what wrongly accusing someone of something can do.' Mari thought as she looked at Shinji resting peacefully. 'I'm so sorry, puppy, you'll have to take this one for the team.'

When Asuka got home a few hours later, Shinji was finally awake and in the kitchen making some dinner, while Mari causally laid out plates for the three of them. Asuka had gone off to shower in a huff after returning from a day out with Hikari.

"I wonder what's eating her?" Mari asked Shinji quietly. "She seems pissier than usual."

"Who knows? She barely said hello to me when she came in." Shinji said. "I'm afraid to ask though, I don't feel like hearing her yell again at me asking stupid questions, and I don't like the ringing I get in my ears when she's done screaming."

"Poor puppy, such sensitive ears." Mari teased. "You don't like when the big bad German yells a lot?"

"Careful, I'm cooking your dinner, remember." Shinji warned. "And she wouldn't yell so much if you didn't dig into her all the time. I can't stop her yelling at me because I don't cook or clean the way she likes, but you just make it worse sometimes."

"That's what I'm here for, Shinji." Mari said. "To annoy her, and protect you."

"Mari, just please try to not go after her for everything." Shinji sighed. "You know she explodes at the first sign of annoyance, like raging bull. Just lay off of her a bit, ok?"

"Why are you defending her, Shinji?" Mari asked. 'Do you remember you two know each other from a long time ago, or is it just a feeling you have?' Mari thought.

"I don't know, I just think it'd be a lot more peaceful here if you didn't antagonize her so much…" Shinji said. "She's not a bad person, just angry about something. It's not like she talks to anyone though, she just yells and bosses people around. It's actually kind of sad, cause if she tried, she'd probably be really nice to be around."

"Wow, that's a really nice thing to say, Shinji." Mari said. "You really are a nice guy."

"Thanks." Shinji blushed. "Just promise you'll be nicer to her. Maybe if you pull back a bit, the she'll be nicer to us, and things ill just get… less complicated."

"I can still tease Misato though, right?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, I wouldn't stop you from doing that." Shinji smirked. "It's always fun to see you outsmart her."

"Good, I wouldn't want to ruin that bit of fun." Mari said, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. 'Now I need to go get the panties from under his bed before…' Mari heard Asuka scream like a banshee and run fuming into kitchen holding a pair of red cotton panties with a gold star. 'Shit… too late…'

"SHINJI! YOU FUCKING PERVERT!" Asuka bellowed, waiving the panties in his face. "WHY THE FUCK WERE THESE IN YOUR ROOM?!"

'Shit…' Mari thought.

"Asuka…what are you… why are you yelling?" Shinji stammered. "And why are you… why are you waiving panties in my face?"

"THEY WERE IN YOUR ROOM UNDER YOUR BED, YOU FICKEN PERVERT!" Asuka shouted. "YOU STOLE THESE FROM MY ROOM!"

"No I didn't…why would I steal them… why do you think I took them?" Shinji stammered. "Why would I need to? I'm not a pervert…"

"THEY WERE UNDER YOUR BED!" Asuka shouted. "SO HOW DID THEY GET THERE!?"

"Asuka, stop screaming!" Mari shouted. 'This isn't going as planned…'

"Why?! Your little perverted friend took my favorite panties!" Asuka shouted back. "He overheard us last night and decided he'd touch himself with my favorite ones! I'm going to choke him to death with him them, and not the way he was hoping to be!"

"He is _not_ a pervert!" Mari said angrily. "I told you that last night!"

"HE IS, FOUR EYES!" Asuka screamed. "THE LITTLE SCHEISSE TOOK MY PANTIES TO PLEASURE HIMSELF!"

"I AM NOT A PERVERT, AND I DID NOT STEAL YOUR PANTIES!" Shinji roared. "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, ASUKA!"

Asuka lunged at Shinji and knocked Shinji to the ground. "DON'T YOU DARE SHOUT AT ME YOU LITTLE FUCKING PERVERT!" Asuka screamed. "NO ONE YELLS AT ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU!"

"I will if you're… being an ass…" Shinji choked out. "You're just some angry German genius… who can speak Japanese… but can't learn the kanji…"

"You little scheisse!" Asuka screamed, slapping the shit out of Shinji.

Asuka and Shinji's eyes met for a moment, and thin, knowing smirks formed on each of their mouths. Asuka winked as Mari stepped over her.

"Stop choking my Shinji!" Mari shouted as she pulled Asuka off of Shinji, and tossed her to the ground. "Just stop it Asuka!"

"Why, four eyes!" Asuka shouted as she got back to her feet. "I want him to pay for stealing my panties! And I'm going to beat the pervert right out of him if I have to!"

"No you're not, Asuka!" Mari said threateningly. "He didn't steal you panties!"

"How do you know?!" Asuka asked, getting into a fighting stance. "Did you watch his perverted ass all day?!"

"No, Asuka I didn't watch him, and I won't let you hurt him again!" Mari exclaimed, matching Asuka's stance and readying for a brawl.

"Please, I can take you, four eyes." Asuka snarled. "I'll turn you into a whimpering pile of tears. Here, you can even have the first shot…" Asuka tapped her cheek lightly.

"Bring it on, Princess." Mari growled. "You'll be easy, seeing as you're so cocky…"

"Please, don't fight you guys…" Shinji said. "I'm fine really…"

Mari looked at Shinji and relaxed her stance. "We won't fight, Shinji…" Mari said, turning to Asuka. "I know he didn't steal your panties because I did, Asuka! So leave Shinji alone!"

"Finally, she admits it." Asuka said calmly. "I was wondering if we would actually have to fight to make you admit it."

"What…?" Mari said.

"You've been Punk'd, Mari." Asuka smirked. "How's it feel to be pranked?"

"Not that great…" Mari said. "But why did you try and hurt Shinji if you knew?"

"I told her Mari, we planned it." Shinji replied. "But, Mari, why did you try to include me in your latest prank?" Shinji asked.

"Yeah the war is between us, not baka Shinji over there." Asuka said.

"But… how did you?" Mari stammered. 'Why did Shinji… trick me?' Mari thought.

"I heard you come in Mari." Shinji said. "I wasn't dead asleep. That and you looked at me for like a solid minute, did you really think I didn't notice you were in my room?"

"I wanted to teach Asuka a lesson about accusing you of being a pervert, by framing you for taking her favorite panties… I thought it would be funny if she ranted and raved and then I told her I did it. I didn't think it would end up like this. And I really think you were asleep." Mari muttered. "You looked so… peaceful."

"Yeah, well, when I got up and saw what you put under there, I was a little annoyed." Shinji said sternly. "I made sure to catch Asuka when she got home, and we planned this little ruse to teach you a lesson. Although you choked me a bit hard, Asuka."

Asuka shrugged. "Sorry, Shinji, I needed to make it look convincing." She smiled. "You're ok though, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Shinji said.

"But, Shinji, why did you trick me?" Mari asked. "Why did you do that, Shinji, don't you like me?"

"Mari, I told you, you had be nicer to Asuka, otherwise something like could have happened." Shinji said. "You both need to be nicer really. I don't like always having to referee when you guys fight."

"Yeah, what if I had actually found my panties in his room, I wouldn't have been very happy at all." Asuka said. "And I would've wanted to beat the crap out of him."

"But…" Mari started.

"Mari, leave the pranks alone, and just stick to teasing, ok?" Shinji asked.

Mari had tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry… I have to… go be alone…" Mari said tearfully as she ran to her room.

Shinji's head dropped. "Great… I made her cry…"

"Hey, Shinji, don't beat yourself up, ok?" Asuka said comfortingly. "It's ok, she's a big girl, she'll be fine."

"No, she won't." Shinji said. "You don't know her like I do Asuka, she hurt and angry at me. I hurt her feelings, and she is always so nice to me… I feel really bad about it."

"Don't, she was using you to teach me a lesson about calling you names." Asuka said. "Although, I was wrong, you're not a pervert, otherwise you wouldn't have told me about the panties."

"But I want to go make her feel better…" Shinji said sadly.

'Wow, even though Mari set him up to prank me, he still cares for her…' Asuka thought. 'What a nice guy.' Asuka smiled. "Hey, Shinji, you know all those things I just said, I didn't mean them." Asuka said quietly. "I shouldn't call you names either, otherwise, how will be actual friends?"

"Asuka, you know we're friends, I told you that ages ago." Shinji said, hugging Asuka tightly. "I know you're as angry as I am about my own childhood. I don't know what happened, but I know whatever it is important, and you probably hate talking about. But just know you can tell me anything, Asuka, I won't judge you for it."

Asuka was surprised and comforted by his hug. 'Wow, this is exactly what I wanted, but I still don't know why I want him to be close to me…' Asuka thought. "Thanks Shinji…" Asuka nervously hugged Shinji back. "And I hope I didn't hurt you when I tackled you."

"No, you didn't." Shinji said. "I've had worse when it came to bullies, so that was nothing."

"Nothing huh?" Asuka joked. "I guess you're tougher than I thought, Third Child."

"Yeah, I guess I am." Shinji said happily. "So, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Asuka replied.

"Was "pleasuring himself" the best line you come up for the word masturbating?" Shinji asked.

"Hey, I didn't have very long to do that, I was making it up as I went along!" Asuka said indignantly. "It was convincing, though, wasn't it?" Asuka asked.

"It was." Shinji replied. "But, Asuka, for future reference, I wouldn't need any panties for that, there is a whole internet full of porn out there for that." Shinji joked.

"What?!" Asuka said loudly, pushing Shinji away. "You _are_ a little pervert!"

"No, Asuka, I'm just a single teenaged boy with wild hormones." Shinji smiled. "Don't overreact so much though, from what Mari says it's only natural."

"You two talk about this stuff?" Asuka asked. "Isn't that weird?"

"It's not as weird as you think, Asuka." Shinji replied. "We're just good friends, so we talk about lots of things, and Mari doesn't get embarrassed easily."

'Why can't we be like that…?' Asuka thought. 'I need to stop being such a child, I don't need him, but I feel happy when we talk… I hate this.' Asuka looked right at Shinji. "You're odd, you know that?"

"Everyone's odd, Asuka." Shinji said. "I'm going to go check on Mari though. I didn't think we'd make her cry. I want to make sure she's ok."

"Yeah, I'm not even that mean." Asuka said. "Go make her feel better, and tell her… I'm worried about her. I've never seen her cry before."

"So you do have compassion under that stony façade." Shinji said.

"Hey, I'm being nice here, don't ruin it!" Asuka exclaimed.

"I'm not, I'm just glad, because I really don't like when you two fight all the time." Shinji sad sadly. "Its upsets me when my friends fight…"

"Shinji… I'll try to be nicer to Mari, for you…" Asuka stuttered. "Alright?"

"Alright." Shinji said, pecking Asuka lightly on the cheek. "And Asuka, thanks for being so nice and helping me."

"Sure… no problem." Asuka said in a state of shock. 'He kissed me… he actually kissed my cheek… why do I feel so warm inside… like this has happened before between us. He's never kissed me before…' Asuka thought as Shinji walked away. 'But I know I'd do anything for you, Shinji… you just have to ask…'

–––

Mari was laying in her bed crying silently. 'Why did Shinji side with her? They always argue, I don't get it?' Mari thought sullenly. 'Are we not friends anymore? Doesn't he like me? He sounded so angry that I hid Asuka's panties under his bed… that was so stupid of me… I shouldn't have done it, but I don't think he'll ever forgive me…' Mari heard someone open the door. "Go away!" Mari shouted.

"Mari, how can we talk if I go away?" Shinji said.

"What…" Mari muttered.

Shinji crossed over to the far side of the rom and sat gently on Mari's bed. "Mari, I didn't mean to make you cry." Shinji said sullenly. "I'm really sorry. Even Asuka is a bit worried about you."

"No she's not." Mari said.

"Yes she is." Shinji said firmly. "She just told me to make sure you're ok. She didn't want to make you cry either."

"Well, seeing as you two get along so well, why don't you go back out there with her." Mari said angrily. "I'll be fine in here on my own."

"No, Mari, I'm here to check on you." Shinji said, reaching out to Mari.

"I said go away!" Mari said, knocking him off the bed.

Shinji got up and looked sadly at Mari. "Mari, what's gotten into you? Why are you acting this way? Are you mad at me?"

"I said go away!" Mari repeated.

"Mari, I'm not going away!" Shinji shouted. "I'm worried about you, I've never seen you cry before, or act like this!"

"I'm mad because you sided with her over me!" Mari shouted back with tears streaming down her face. "You pranked me and tricked me into think she was hurting you! That wasn't very nice!"

"Mari, it wasn't very nice of you to drag me into your war with Asuka. I was trying to show what could happen if you two keep going at it!" Shinji explained. "I don't want you two to fight anymore! I didn't think it would make you cry!"

Mari looked right at Shinji, and saw tears in his eyes. "Really, you're that upset over me?"

"Yes, really." Shinji said emphatically. "You're my best friend Mari! I don't want you to be mad at me over some prank!"

Mari got up and squeezed Shinji half to death. "I'm the one who should be sorry, I was a bitch to you, I hid her panties under your bed, and I shouldn't of, and I'm really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me." Mari rambled.

"Mari, just stop, I forgive you." Shinji said, hugging her back. "You just need to tone it down a bit, and stop taking every single opportunity to make her mad. She said she'd stop fighting with you, can you do the same?"

"Yeah, I guess I could that for you, Shinji, I know you said you don't like being a referee between the two of us." Mari said sadly. 'Shinji is the best person I know, I'm just glad he's not mad at me…' Mari thought.

"Good, now we can all be friends, and we can impress Misato with our civility." Shinji said happily. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

"It would be nice…" Mari said. "I bet it would confuse the fuck out of her."

"I bet it would." Asuka said, making Shinji and Mari jump. "So, it looks like everything is ok in here, cause dinner smells ready."

"Yeah, it is." Shinji said. "So, can we all agree to just be friends?"

"Yeah." Asuka said. "I can do that."

"I bet we can." Mari replied.

"Good." Shinji said. "So, why don't we go eat?"

"Well, you don't have to ask me twice!" Asuka said brightly running to the kitchen.

"Yeah, let's go!" Mari said, grabbing Shinji and dragging him to the kitchen.

"Mari, don't pull me so hard!" Shinji exclaimed, running behind Mari. Shinji exclaimed. 'Back to things as usual…' Shinji thought. 'But at least now we can all just get along and be friends… that makes me happy.'

–––

The three of them were sitting at the table quietly eating dinner. Mari's eyes were still red from crying, and Asuka still had a curious look on her face. Shinji was sitting between them, and sighed.

'I guess I still have to referee, so much for changing that…' Shinji thought. "Come on guys, the prank was kinda funny, don't you think, Mari? Asuka?" Shinji said.

"Well…" Mari said. "I mean, do you like being choked, Shinji?" Mari purred. "That's kinda kinky. Maybe we can try it out sometime." Mari winked.

Shinji blushed. "Mari, does your mind only focus on sex?" Shinji joked. "You're constantly in heat aren't you?"

Mari smiled. "Well… yeah."

"Wow, four eyes, I should call you the pervert from now on." Asuka said. "You're some sort of sexual deviant!"

"Well at least I don't repress my sexuality until I have fits of rage." Mari replied. "Or fits of curiosity…"

"I do _not_ repress my sexual desires!" Asuka said loudly.

"Really, so that one time I caught you…" Mari purred.

"Careful four eyes!" Asuka warned.

Shinji laughed. "Asuka… it's ok, we all do that. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"We do not _all_ do that!" Asuka said. "I don't!"

"Don't do what, princess." Mari said. "What are you saying we all don't do… you have to use your words now…"

"Masturbate…" Asuka muttered, blushing heavily. "I don't masturbate…"

Mari fell out of her seat laughing and Shinji smiled broadly.

"She actually said the word like a big girl!" Mari cackled.

"Mari be nice." Shinji said. "Asuka, you know its normal, right?" Shinji asked.

"Maybe for a boy!" Asuka said. "But not for a girl!"

"Really, because girls don't have sexual desires?" Mari said, trying to compose herself. "I did catch you diddling a few weeks ago, so don't deny it."

"But…" Asuka blushed so much her face matched her hair. "It's embarrassing…" Asuka looked at Shinji's kind face. 'Great, now Shinji knows I touch myself…' Asuka thought. 'And yet he says it's normal…'

"Asuka… its ok." Shinji said. "We won't say anything to Misato."

"Yeah, she doesn't need to know we do it too." Mari said.

"What do you mean?" Asuka asked. "Misato does…"

"When she thinks we're all asleep she does it." Mari said.

"And she's not exactly quiet either." Shinji added.

"I can't believe Misato of all people…" Asuka said as she started to laugh. "That's really funny! Now I don't feel so bad if _Misato_ does it!"

The three of them started laughing hysterically with Misato walking in during laughter.

"What's so funny?" Misato asked.

"Oh, Misato, you wouldn't understand." Mari said. "You're too old."

"I am not old, Mari!" Misato shouted, causing the three of them to laugh again, making Misato storm to her room and slam the door.

"Mari, that wasn't nice…" Shinji said. "You know she's touchy about her age."

"I don't know why, she's not unattractive." Mari said.

"Yeah, but vanity never makes any sense…" Asuka said.

"Oh, who cares about her vanity?" Mari said. "She should just get over it, we're all going to old eventually."

"Well, I doubt that will happen." Asuka said. "She so tied up in trying to look good, I think she doesn't even notice she acts like a kid."

"Can you blame her?" Shinji said. "With our jobs and hers, it's kinda stressful isn't it? Look at what we did tonight… Asuka pretended to choke me, to counter your prank Mari. How childish is that."

"Very…" Mari said sheepishly.

"Excessively…" Asuka muttered before the trio once again broke out in a fit of hysterical laughter.

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly after Chapter 12 of Episode IV, but before Chapter 1 of Episode V.

So, this is a fun little One Shot to show how devious Mari can be, especially to an unsuspecting roommate like Asuka. So, she deiced after hearing Asuka call Shinji a pervert a bunch, without any proof he actually is (which we all know he isn't, this Shinji is not the one from EoE…), so Mari decides to teach Asuka lesson that Shinji unfortunately gets drawn into, before Mari steps in and takes the blame.

The twist of course is Shinji and Asuka are pranking Mari, and Mari is upset that Shinji chose to side with Asuka rather than her, and they have their own touching moment. And Asuka is having feelings for Shinji, but of course, her ego keeps telling her being alone is just fine, while her heart likes being near Shinji.

And then the end of the story focuses on them still being friends, and openly talking about stuff.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	3. Cooking Frenzy

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Cooking Frenzy

* * *

March 22, 2016 – Tokyo–3 Junior High School, Class 2–A

Asuka and Mari were staying after school to clean up the classroom per Hikari's instructions. It had been extremely quiet between them since they started cleaning, and they had barely looked at each other, however, seeing as they were almost done, Mari decided it was ok to talk.

"Hey, princess." Mari asked.

"What, four eyes." Asuka said. "If you shut up, we'll be able to get out of here sooner."

"Yeah, but my question is important." Mari said.

"Fine, what is it." Asuka asked.

"Well, you know how Shinji basically does everything but bathe us and wipe our asses?" Mari asked.

"He doesn't pick out our clothes!" Asuka said angrily.

"Yeah, but we wear a school uniform, and he does all of our laundry." Mari explained. "Polus he cleans up the house and takes out the garbage and everything…"

"Make a point, four eyes, you're starting to piss me off." Asuka said angrily.

"Fine, I'll get to it then." Mari said exasperatedly. "Why not instead of letting him do all the cooking and cleaning, we actually help him every so often."

"Why?" Asuka asked.

"Because it's a nice thing to do." Mari said. "You know what being nice is, don't you?"

"You know what it's like to feel a foot up your ass?" Asuka asked.

"No, but I don't mind trying things at least once." Mari purred.

Asuka blushed. "Oh, shut up four eyes! You're such a pervert!"

"Well, if you're done being an ass, maybe I can make my point." Mari said.

"Yeah for now." Asuka said, glaring at Mari.

"What if, for a treat, we make Shinji dinner as thanks?" Mari said. "I know he's here cleaning tomorrow with Hikari, so it might not be all bad, we'll have time to do it and surprise him. Maybe he'll even be so happy, he won't bug us to clean our room as much."

"Well, I guess that would be nice…" Asuka said. 'And maybe if I impress Shinji with my cooking… no… I don't need to impress that idiot, he should just be happy I'm going to do something for him…' Asuka thought.

"So, is that a yes or a no princess…" Mari said. "I'd like to know how much of the praise I get to keep once we do this… all of it, or half…"

"It's a yes four eyes." Asuka replied. "Now let's get out of this shitty classroom, and go steal that cookbook I gave him, maybe we can find something in there to cook."

"Good thinking, princess!" Mari said. "I guess you are as smart as you claim to be."

"Shut it four eyes." Asuka threatened. "Otherwise I'll have to kick your ass."

"I bet Shinji would pay to see that fight." Mari joked. "Maybe we could wrestle I mud or jello for him, show him a good time."

Asuka shook her head. "Just put the bucket away, Mari." Asuka said. "I'm tired and I want to go home."

"Alright…" Mari said. "But I figured that comment would make you yell."

"Well, I guess you don't know me as well as you think!" Asuka said.

As Mari walked to the supply closet, Asuka blushed. 'Well, it would be nice to beat her in front of Shinji to show him who the better woman is… and if I have to do that in a bathing suit…' Asuka's thoughts trailed off. 'Wait… why am I thinking about this?!'

–––

As Mari and Asuka got home, Shinji already had a massive dinner on the table for them.

"Awww, puppy, you're so sweet to us." Mari said.

"Yeah, you never have dinner ready this early, baka." Asuka added.

"Well, you guys were stuck cleaning the classroom, so I thought it would be nice to have this ready for when you got home." Shinji said kindly. "Plus, I know that when Asuka's hungry, she gets irritable…"

"What did you say?" Asuka asked.

"In a cute way…" Shinji said quickly.

"Better, baka." Asuka said.

"Well, what if we ever surprised you with dinner?" Mari asked.

"I'd die of shock." Shinji said.

"Would you really?" Asuka asked.

"Well either that or wonder why the hell you hadn't offered to help beforehand." Shinji said. "But don't get me wrong, I'd appreciate it all the same."

"Well, I'm offended and happy at the same time." Mari said.

"Why?" Shinji asked.

"Well, just because…" Mari said cutely.

"And you know, I'm full of surprises, baka." Asuka said.

"I'm sure you are Asuka…" Shinji said as they all sat down to eat.

* * *

March 23, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Asuka and Mari arrived home from school as quickly as they could to enact their plan. When they got inside they threw their school stuff roughly into their rom and changed out of their uniforms and went to the kitchen. Asuka went out there in a striped blue and white bra and panty set, and Mari put on a tight tank top and shorts and ran to Shinji's room and met Asuka in the kitchen with the cookbook. Pen–Pen was walking around, and when he saw the two of them going through the kitchen, he slinked away to his freezer to hide, knowing that he only trusted Shinji to cook for him.

"Princess, are you really wearing that?" Mari asked as she saw Asuka.

"Yeah, I don't want to mess up any of my clothes." Asuka replied.

"So, you're going to expose as much skin as possible to a hot stove, and potentially hot oil…" Mari said. "Well, princess, it's your body."

"Yeah, it's my decision to make…" Asuka said. "Wait… hot oil?"

"Yeah, how do you think things get fried?" Mari asked. "Magic?"

"I didn't know there was going to be oil…" Asuka said. "I'll uh… be right back…"

"Ok, I'll start." Mari said.

"The hell you will, four eyes." Asuka said as she walked away. "I'm not letting you take more than half the credit."

"Alright… relax…" Mari said. "I'll wait."

Asuka came back a few minutes later in shorts and a t–shirt. "Well, did you at least look in the damn cookbook, or did you just sit on your thumbs?"

Mari stuck out her tongue. "Thumbs are fun to stick places."

Asuka shook her head. "Just shut up and wash your hands you pervert."

"If it'll make you feel better…" Mari said as she went to the sink. "Also, I figured we could make onigiri. Should be pretty easy. Found the recipe in the book."

"Wait, rice balls?" Asuka asked. "Sure, they do sound easy, it shouldn't be too bad."

"Yeah, he has plenty of rice in the cabinet, and there's also some nori up here too." Mari said. "So we just need a filling…"

"What do we put in them?" Asuka asked. "I don't want more vegetables… I'm tired of vegetables, I want meat and stuff…"

"Ok, so there's bacon and sausage in the fridge, and lots of it. Plus some ground beef I think…" Mari said. "So, now we just need to figure out how to make all this shit…"

"Well, it shouldn't be too hard." Asuka said. "If baka can do it, we should be fine, I'm a genius, and you're not as dumb as you act."

"Just take the compliment…" Mari muttered.

"So, what do we do to the rice?" Asuka asked.

"Well, it says we wash it, so I guess a little soap won't hurt…" Mari said.

"Soap?" Asuka asked.

"It does say wash, doesn't it?" Mari said.

"Yeah, but maybe with baking soda, not soap."

"Baking soda will work!" Mari said. "That'll clean the rice."

Asuka began to wash the rice with water and baking soda while Mari took out the various meats to prep them. "So, I get out a pan to cook this stuff in…" Mari said as she pulled several pans to fry the meats. "So I chop it all up nice and good and then cook it… but with what spices…"

Mari looked at the cabinet and took out as many spices as she could. "So, all this stuff smells spicy, that should work…"

Mari chopped up the bacon and threw it lone into a pan for a few minutes. "So, the bacon doesn't need anything extra… its bacon… so I'll get this all spiced up."

"You bet your ass bacon doesn't need anything extra!" Asuka said as she continued to scrub the rice with baking soda.

To the sausage, Mari added pepper flakes, curry powder, and Chile pepper. "Hmmm, this smells interesting…" Mari said happily. "But I wonder what this shredded ghost pepper is… well, smells tasty anyway…"

Mari took the bacon out of the pan as Asuka finished cleaning the rice. Mari threw the sausage into the pan and Asuka put the rice into the rice cooker with a large helping of salt. Mari began mixing in wasabi, parsley, basil, and shredded ghost pepper with the beef. "Oh… man that smells good… I'm sure Shinji will love it."

Asuka looked at the meat concoctions. "Looks tasty…" Asuka said. "I think the rice needs to be fried next though…"

"You can handle it I've got the filling…" Mari said.

"Yeah, well, where's the little green paper?" Asuka asked.

"The nori?" Mari said. "It's in the cabinet with the rice."

"How do I prep it?" Asuka asked.

"I don't think you do…" Mari said. "Just read the book."

Asuka grabbed the cookbook and looked at the instructions for nori. "Well, Shinji bought individually wrapped ones, so I don't have to do anything…" Asuka said. "Well, now I just need to fry the rice… how do I do that?"

"I think you do that after we make the balls." Mari said as she removed the sausage from the pan and put the ground beef in its place. "I didn't really read a bunch of the cookbook, so just check it."

Asuka flipped through the cookbook again, once again and saw that the rice only needed to be cooked and cooled a bit before forming the balls. "Oh… I guess we don't need to fry the rice at all, we're not making fried onigiri."

"So, is the rice done yet?" Mari asked.

Asuka checked the cooker. "Yeah, it's done." Asuka said taking it out of the rice cooker and placing the rice into a bowl. "So what, we make the balls now?"

"I guess…" Mari said. "I wish we'd have paid attention when Shinji did all this."

"Yeah, somehow I think we're going to regret not offering to help before." Asuka said as they stared at the rice and cooked meat. "So… should we just see what happens?"

"Yeah, we can't really turn back now, can we?" Mari asked.

"Well that and I never give up." Asuka replied.

–––

Shinji arrived home a few hours after school had ended after a long and thorough cleaning of the classroom by himself and Hikari, where they also tidied up some of the other areas of school as well. When Shinji walked into the apartment, he could smell the spices that had been used, and distinct smell of smoke and somewhat burned rice.

Shinji walked cautiously to the kitchen where he saw, to his horror, a mess of massive proportions.

"What happened in here… it's like a war zone." Shinji muttered.

Several bowls and pans had been used, where the bottoms were thoroughly burned and caked with the contents that were cooked, and the raw contents of meat were left in and forgotten and had started to smell. Containers that had raw meat were left on the counter, some leaking the blood they were meant to contain. Some raw meat had also been left unattended on the counter, not even in a bowl, as if it was an afterthought. The rice cooker was also conspicuously missing from the counter, though there were smoke marks on the cabinet above where rice cooker had been. His cookbook from Asuka was also sitting on the kitchen counter, surrounded by the mess, which was odd because it had been in his room earlier when they all left for school.

Shinji took a quick inventory of what had been left on the counter, and realized something horrible. "That's all the food I had bought for this week… all gone…" Shinji muttered.

Shinji walked to the living room to see his two roommates passed out on the floor, wearing partly burned aprons, and covered in what appeared to be smoke and ash.

"Hey guys…" Shinji said cautiously. "Did something happen while I was at school?"

Mari and Asuka opened their eyes wearily and looked at him. They both struggled to sit up, but decided that it was easier to lay on the floor.

"Yeah, puppy, something happened." Mari said. "Uh… rice cooker caught fire."

"How…" Shinji asked.

"What are you, stupid or something?" Asuka said tiredly "We cooked for you, and it didn't really go well…"

"You guys cooked…" Shinji said in amazement. "And the rice cooker caught fire…"

"Yeah, that sums it up pretty well." Asuka replied.

"Yep, we thought it would be nice to cook for you for a change." Mari said.

"But where's all the food you cooked?" Shinji asked. "I mean you used all the meat I had in the fridge for the entire week!"

"Oh, food's in the fridge, we didn't want it to go bad." Mari said. "We can serve you, I just… need some help up is all…"

Shinji reached out his hand and had to literally pull Mari to her feet. She stood unsteadily for a moment before staggering away slowly making her way to the kitchen.

"Asuka, do you need help too?" Shinji asked.

"It would be nice." Asuka said shortly.

Shinji reached down his hand and helped her up, with Auks also being unsteady on her feet.

As Shinji followed Asuka to the kitchen, Asuka stopped and turned to him. "So, baka, are you surprised we actually cooked."

"I think shocked would be a better word…" Shinji said.

"Jerk…" Asuka said as she turned around walked in a huff to the kitchen.

Shinji followed her and tried to apologize. "Asuka, I'm sorry… but neither of you has shown an interest in cooking before… I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't shocked."

"You could have said it nicer, you know!" Asuka said.

"Really, Asuka, you're really calling that out?" Shinji asked.

"Yeah, princes… seems somewhat ironic considering…" Mari said.

"Oh shut up, the both of you!" Asuka exclaimed as she went into the fridge. "Shinji, sit down and eat! You better enjoy it too!"

Shinji sat down and was presented a platter of onigiri, which looked nice enough and a plate of pork curry, with no rice.

"Why isn't there rice with the…" Shinji started.

"The rice cooker caught fire!" Asuka shouted.

"Asuka, I was only wondering…" Shinji said.

"Well, stop wondering and eat!" Asuka said angrily.

"Really, don't scare him princess." Mari said. "Don't worry Shinji, everything was cooked well, especially that last batch of rice."

Shinji looked at the food in front of him. "Well it all looks really good." Shinji said. "But how did exactly did the rice cooker catch fire?"

"Well, basically… we didn't put enough water in and when the moisture disappeared, it hated up and caught fire. We threw it off the veranda to save the apartment, which is why we smell like smoke and we're covered in soot." Mari explained.

"Alright… well I guess I'll get a new one tomorrow." Shinji said as he caught a scary look from Asuka. "But, I'll start with the curry."

Shinji took his knife and fork and attempted to cut the pork, and with some effort he cut through the tough brick of meat. He coated it with curry ad tasted it, realizing the pork was so overcooked, it was like chewing leather. The curry sauce was surprisingly well done to Shinji's delight.

"So, how was it?" Asuka asked.

"Um…" Shinji said nervously. "The curry was really good, but the pork…"

"What's wrong with it?" Mari asked.

"It's too tough… almost like leather." Shinji said. "How long did you cook it?"

"Oh, about a half hour in the frying pan." Asuka said.

"What?!" Shinji said. "That's way too long!"

"Oh, well _sorry_ Iron Chef Shinji…" Asuka said snidely.

"Well, why don't you try the onigiri?" Mari asked. "I'm sure they're good!"

"What's in them? Any vegetables?" Shinji asked.

"No, one's bacon, one's sausage, and one's ground beef!" Mari said excitedly. "I seasoned the meat myself, and Asuka did the rice!"

"Ok…" Shinji said nervously. Shinji ok one of the onigiri at random, and took a big bite. Moments later, he regretting doing just that.

"WAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Shinji screamed. "HOT! HOT! HOT! I NEED WATER, WATER PLEASE! IT BURNS!"

Asuka and Mari both ran to get him water, and in their haste as they each ran back with a glassful, they slammed into each other, sending both glasses right at the back of Shinji's head, covering him in water and knocking his face into the table.

"OW!" Shinji exclaimed. "Guys, please, just let me get the water… you're hurting me more…" Shinji pleaded as Asuka grabbed another glass of water, and Mari checked to see if he was ok. Asuka handed him the glass of water and Shinji drank it in one gulp.

"It didn't help… it still burns…" Shinji moaned. "Mari, what was in the ground beef? Why is it so hot?" Shinji asked weakly.

"Oh, well let's see…" Mari said tapping her chin. "I used wasabi… parsley… basil… and what was it again? Oh yeah… something called shredded ghost pepper."

"What!?" Shinji exclaimed. "Why did you mix that all in?" Shinji asked. "You could have killed me! Ghost peppers are the spiciest thing on the planet!"

"Oh, I didn't know…" Mari said. "Sorry, it just smelled nice…"

"Well… they do but…" Shinji clutched his stomach. "Oh no…"

As Shinji jumped up from the table to run off, he clutched the table and grimaced before he let out a stream of bile from his stomach, effectively empting the contents of his stomach all over the table and kitchen floor, and running the food Mari and Asuka had prepared.

Shinji then promptly collapsed onto the floor, moaning.

"SHINJI!" Both girls screamed as they looked over the mess he made. Asuka sat on the ground and cradled Shinji in her arms, while Mari crouched down next to Asuka and looked worriedly at him.

"Shinji, what's wrong?" Mari asked worriedly.

"My stomach hurts… it's like its being twisted into knots…" Shinji moaned.

"Oh shit…" Asuka muttered. "We killed him…"

"No, not yet…" Mari said. "But close…"

"Mari, where there any other spices in there?" Shinji asked.

"No, just what I told you." Mari said.

"What about the rice?" Shinji asked weakly.

"Well, I washed it with a load of baking soda, then I cooked it with a load of salt…" Asuka said. "Is that wrong?"

"Yeah…" Shinji replied. "When you wash the rice, you just rinse it off really good… you don't actually wash it… didn't you two use the cookbook?"

"Well, it wasn't very specific…" Asuka said.

"Yeah, it just said wash." Mari said. "I suggested soap, but Asuka used baking soda instead."

"Thank god for that…" Shinji muttered. "How much salt did you use?"

"Well, I made six cups of rice, so I put in a cup of salt to be safe." Asuka said. "I thought it would taste nice."

"No, Asuka, all that stuff I think is what made me sick… that and the spices Mari used in the meat… ugh…" Shinji said.

"Oh…" Asuka said sadly. "Mari, go call Hikari… I don't think we should try to help anymore… we're kind of fucking useless…"

"No, you're not, it's just a couple mistakes…" Shinji said as he tried to smile.

"A couple mistakes don't just make someone thrown up and collapse, baka!" Asuka said angrily. "We made you throw up, we're fucking useless at cooking! I even set a rice cooker on fire! We should have never tried to cook for you! It was a stupid idea!"

"No, it was really sweet of both of you to try…" Shinji said. "I appreciate it, even if the final result was not what you had hoped for…"

"Wait, we almost kill you, and you're ok with that?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, Shinji, you're not even a little mad?" Mari asked.

"How can I be mad when it came from such a kind place in your hearts?" Shinji explained. "That kind of thoughtfulness is wonderful, and can never be hated."

"Wow, he's clearly not feeling well." Mari quipped.

"You really are an idiot…" Asuka said. "Baka…"

"So, should I still call Hikari?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, I'd rather not risk more of our kindness almost putting him six feet under." Asuka replied. "I'd think Hikari could do a lot better."

"Yeah, you're probably right…" Mari said.

–––

Hikari walked out of Shinji's room and sighed. "Ok, you two are never allowed to cook again." Hikari said sternly.

"Yeah, big surprise there." Asuka said.

"I can't say I'm disappointed." Mari said.

"I mean, Shinji's right, it was sweet of you guys to try, but it fell… uh… short." Hikari said kindly. "And he's not as bad as it could have been."

"But, will he be ok?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, we didn't mean to you know… almost kill him."

"He'll be fine tomorrow or Friday, but he's not going to school tomorrow, so one of you should stay and watch him." Hikari said. "You know without killing him."

"I'll do it." Asuka said. "I feel guilty about following Mari's plan… I'll stay and look after him. I made the rice like a retarded monkey anyway…"

"Asuka…" Hikari said.

"Hey, she can stay tomorrow, I asked her to help, it's only fair she's the one who skips school to care for him." Mari said. "I'll suffer like I hold listening to that old man speak."

"Thanks, Mari." Asuka said. "You should suffer for being that stupid and thinking we could cook."

"Well, you guys could still help around the house." Hikari said. "You know, like cleaning the disaster of a kitchen, and all the… effects it caused."

"You mean the puke right?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, I do." Hikari said. "Why don't we clean up, and someone can watch him now, to make sure if he throws up again, he doesn't choke on it and actually die."

"Let Asuka do it." Mari said.

"What?" Hikari and Asuka said together.

"Yeah, she shouldn't have to clean up the mess, it's basically all my fault anyway." Mari said. "Like Asuka said, it was a stupid idea."

"Alright, Asuka, the chair is next to his bed, just keep an eye on him." Hikari said. "I'll check in on him before I leave."

"Ok…" Asuka said as she walked quietly into Shinji's room. Asuka sat down next to his bed and looked at him. "It's ironic… instead of an Angel killing you, it was me and Mari…" Asuka quipped. "I think you'd rather us not try and kill you… we'll leave that job to the giant death monsters, huh?"

Shinji didn't respond, but lay there quietly, snoring just a bit as he slept.

"Funny, last time I was in here, I was confused whether or not I liked you… and I still am… but… I'm still really sorry this happened… I was just trying to be nice… and I fucked it up like an idiot…" Asuka said quietly. "But… I'm just glad you'll be ok… it means I still have a chance to figure all this out."

Asuka leaned down and kissed Shinji's forehead. "I hope you feel better soon… baka." Asuka said, smiling widely and blushing a bit.

–––

Meanwhile out in the kitchen, Mari and Hikari started the long job of cleaning up the disaster that was the kitchen. Mari started to move the garage from counter into a bag, and moved Shinji's cookbook to the living room. As Hikari found the cleaning supplies, she eyed Mari suspiciously as she walked back in from the living room.

"Why are you letting Asuka watch him?" Hikari asked.

"Because, Shinji loves her." Mari replied simply. "You know that already."

"Yeah, so what?" Hikari asked. "I don't want to interfere."

"Well, considering how dense they both are, maybe we should interfere, for their sake." Mari explained. "It would be nice to see them together, wouldn't it? Like a proper couple?"

"Yeah… they would be cute together wouldn't they?" Hikari said.

"Good, so it's agreed." Mari said. "This plan is way better than cooking for Shinji, finding him some sweet puppy love will be far more interesting."

"Do you think Asuka likes him?" Hikari asked.

"Based on her reaction to his getting sick, yeah, I'd place that bet." Mari said.

"Ok, it's settled, we'll help the best we can." Hikari said proudly.

"I just hope we can get through to them without it being too obvious…" Mari said as the pair began cleaning the kitchen, smiling from ear to ear.

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly after Chapter 12 of Episode IV, but before Chapter 1 of Episode V.

So, in the main part of the fic, there have been a few mentions of Asuka and Mari being unable to cook and almost killing Shinji… and well, this is what happened actually happened, and those statements aren't far from the truth. They try to be nice, but almost kill him with kindness, then of course everything they do to assist him makes everything worse.

So, as the saying goes… the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Thankfully, Hikari was able to help before it got hospital serious. Although, he probably should have gone to the hospital to begin with… oh well…

Also, the origins of Mari and Hikari teaming up to help get the two dense individuals together. So at least something good came out of this… well not blood bath, but a pun about puke and shitty food.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	4. Big Discovery

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Big Discovery

* * *

March 25, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Mari was sitting in class, bored out of her mind. She was looking between Asuka twirling her pencil absentmindedly, Shinji dozing in his chair, and Rei staring out the window with her chin resting on her hand.

'Will this fucking day ever end?' Mari thought. 'This teacher is soooo boring… does someone have gun I can shoot myself with to end this pain? Or I could shoot him… just so he would stop fucking talking…'

**_♪Ding dong ding ding… ding dong ding ding♪_ **

"Rise… Bow… Sit!" Hikari said commandingly.

'Thank you, oh merciful god!' Mari thought as she followed Hikari's directions. Mari quickly packed her things up and looked over at Shinji.

"What's for dinner?" Mari asked bluntly.

"Huh?" Shinji asked. "Mari… I'm not awake enough to figure that out."

"Why not?!" Mari asked.

"Because we just sat through another boring ass lecture on nothing." Asuka said. "Just leave him alone four eyes, he just woke up when the bell rang."

"So… he should have had dinner planned already." Mari said.

"Mari…" Shinji said. "Can we talk about this when we get home?"

"Fine…" Mari replied tiredly. She saw Rei walking out of the room without them, and called out to her "We don't have a sync test today, where are you going?!"

Rei turned around and came back to talk to them. "Dr. Akagi is conducting several tests on me this afternoon and tomorrow morning."

"So you're not going to be in tomorrow?" Mari said sadly.

"No." Rei said. "Although, I do not know if I could choose which is less fun, this class or those tests."

"That says a lot, wundergirl." Asuka quipped.

"I hope everything goes well, Rei." Shinji said.

"Thank you, Shinji." Rei said as she started walking away.

"Hey, blueberry!" Mari called. "Are you doing anything on Sunday?"

"No, I am free on Sunday." Rei replied.

"You're coming over to our place." Mari said.

"Why?" Rei asked.

"You should be around friends." Mari said. "We'll watch TV, play some games, or something else fun… come on… it'll be fun."

"If you don't, she'll keep hounding you until you do." Asuka said.

"I'll make sure I make some vegetarian stuff for you to snack on too." Shinji said.

"I will come over then." Rei said. "Seeing as Mari is so… insistent."

"Good, we'll see you on Sunday blueberry." Mari said happily.

* * *

March 27, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Mari was sitting anxiously in the kitchen waiting for Rei to arrive. She kept getting up and walking to the front door to look outside and going back to sit down every few minutes. Shinji and Asuka just stared blankly at Mari while she paced around.

"Hey, four eyes, stop pacing." Asuka said. "You're annoying me."

"I'm not pacing." Mari said. "I'm just waiting."

"You're pacing." Shinji said.

"I'm not!" Mari retorted.

"Yes, you are." Shinji said. "Just sit down, Rei will get here when she gets here."

"Fine…" Mari said exasperatedly as she sat down at the table.

"Why are you so worried?" Shinji asked.

"I haven't figured out anything fun to do." Mari said. "At least something that isn't kinda boring…"

"You've had two days." Asuka said. "And you claim to be so smart…"

"I am, but Rei doesn't find the same things fun that we do." Mari said. "She's… different…"

"Well, wundergirl may be different or whatever." Asuka said. "But you're being kinda stupid, she likes watching TV, just go with that."

"I know, but I want to do something more fun!" Mari said.

Misato walked into the kitchen in her uniform, grumbling silently. "Mari, stop yelling…"

"Why, miso?" Mari asked. "Hung over again before work?"

"No…" Misato said.

"Sure Misato, you're not hung over." Asuka said. "All those beer cans Shinji cleaned up this morning were from the other drinker in the apartment."

"Shut up, Asuka." Misato said.

"Hit a nerve, did I?" Asuka asked.

"No… but I can't talk now, I have to go into work." Misato said. "Stupid paperwork…"

"Well, have fun." Shinji said. "Are you going to be back in time for dinner?"

"Probably not." Misato said. "I'll just eat at work." Misato walked towards the door. "Don't break anything while I'm gone."

"Don't kill lots of people with your reckless driving." Mari said.

Misato grumbled as she left and walked blindly out the door and exclaimed when she fell backwards after blindly walking into Rei.

"Misato, what happened?" Shinji asked.

"She collided with me and fell over herself." Rei said calmly as she stepped over Misato's sprawled out form. "I believe Misato will be ok."

"Blueberry, are you ok?" Mari asked.

"I believe so." Rei said. "I did not fall over."

"Well, as long as you're ok." Mari said.

"Yeah, and Misato said she wasn't hung over…" Asuka said snarkily.

"Yeah, I'm fine too, thanks for asking everyone." Misato said as she staggered up. "I'm leaving now."

"Try not to fall over anyone else." Mari said.

"Yeah, be careful." Shinji said.

"Whatever…" Misato said as she left.

Rei sat down at the table as the door closed behind Misato. "So, Mari, what have you planned for this fun day."

"Well…" Mari said. "Other than watching TV there is something I've been meaning to do since I moved in here."

"What do you want to do?" Rei asked.

"Yeah, I'm curious myself." Asuka said. "So, is it fun or something?"

"Define fun." Mari said.

"Exciting." Asuka said.

"Interesting." Shinji replied.

"Out of the ordinary." Rei said.

"Oooh, it's all those things." Mari said. "I want to snoop around Misato's room."

"God, why?" Shinji said. "It's a wreck in there."

"I know, but compared to the two of you, she's so mysterious." Mari said. "You guys don't own anything interesting, I've looked."

"Excuse me?" Asuka asked.

"Really, princess?" Mari asked. "Your favorite panties are about the most interesting thing you own, beyond that, you're boring." Mari sighed. "And the puppy has a cello and that SDAT of his. Misato could have all sorts of things in her room."

"Is that not an invasion of her privacy?" Rei asked.

"Well, considering those suits from Section 2 are always watching us, even when we're here." Mari said. "So, we're not really doing anything wrong…"

"I don't think you're justification holds up." Shinji said.

"Really, I bet she snoops through our stuff." Mari said.

"Yeah, well you just admitted going through our stuff, four eyes." Asuka said. "So excuse me for not believing if your motives are on the up and up."

"Well, they aren't." Mari said. "But come on, it'll be really fun!"

"I don't know…" Shinji said. "It's not nice to look through other people's things."

"Well, I don't really care." Mari said. "Let's go sneak around, it'll be fun." Mari smiled widely. "Don't be a spoiled sport or anything."

"Fine, but we can't disturb anything." Shinji said.

"Wait, you agree with this plan?" Asuka asked.

"Yes, Shinji, this does not seem like you." Rei said.

"Well, Mari has a point." Shinji said. "Everyone gets to watch our every move… maybe Misato has something interesting we can look at. I mean, Mari's right, she's probably looked through our stuff out of concern or whatever."

"Well… that doesn't make it right…" Asuka said. "But I guess it couldn't hurt if we don't break anything."

"I do not condone this…" Rei said. "But it does sound intriguing."

"So let's go then!" Mari said excitedly.

The four of them crept quietly into Misato's room. It was dark, as the shades were still drawn, as Misato liked to sleep in. All around her futon were empty bottles and cans, from her late nights of drinking, empty condom wrappers from someone's stays, and dirty clothes dropped wherever Misato stripped.

"I can see why you don't clean this pit, puppy." Mari said. "It's a bit disturbing."

"I mean… how does someone live like this?" Asuka asked.

"Well, the entire apartment was like this when I moved in." Shinji said. "Why do you think I keep things clean? I can't see it like that again. It's scary…"

"Yeah, it's pretty fucked up." Asuka said. "No wonder she's single."

"Well… yeah…" Mari said. "What kind of guy wants to plough a slob like this?"

"No idea." Asuka said.

"What does plough mean in this instance, Mari?" Rei asked.

"It means fuck really, really hard." Mari explained. "Like so hard, you could hurt yourself and the other person, but you don't care cause it's fun."

"Like you'd know firsthand, Virginia." Asuka quipped.

"You wouldn't either, ice queen." Mari retorted.

"Guys… come on…" Shinji muttered.

"Coitus again?" Rei asked. "How many euphemisms and other references can one make to sex without actually saying sex?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised, blueberry." Mari said.

"I would like to know." Rei said. "How many euphemisms are there?"

"Well…" Mari started.

"Too many to even get into." Shinji said as he glared at Mari. "Right, Mari?"

"Yeah… right." Mari said sullenly.

"So, what she we look in?" Asuka asked.

"Probably the drawers." Mari said. "People keep interesting shit in their drawers."

"Like what?" Rei asked.

"Well, Shinji keeps a lot of tissues in his, and Asuka has her favorite panties." Mari said. "And I keep some special stuff in mine."

"Mari, why were you in my drawer?" Shinji asked.

"I was bored." Mari said. "And with the princess, I was more curious than anything else…"

"You're a pain in the ass." Asuka muttered.

"What kind of special stuff?" Rei asked.

"Oh, just a few toys…" Mari said.

"What kind of toys?" Rei asked. "Are they fun toys?"

"You could say that…" Mari said coyly.

"Of for fuck's sake…" Asuka muttered. "You keep those things in our room!?"

"Of course." Mari said. "Where am I supposed to put them?"

"Bend over and I'll show you." Asuka muttered.

"Enough you two." Shinji said. "Let's just look around and get out of here."

"Spoilsport." Mari muttered.

"I'm tired of you two arguing." Shinji said.

"Fine, let's look in this drawer first." Mari said as she pulled it open. "Boring… just some slutty panties."

"What?" Asuka asked. "How do you categorize panties as slutty?"

"Well, those are basically see through lace with some opaqueness near your bits." Mari said. "So, slutty."

"Is being slutty a bad thing?" Rei asked.

"No… I'm just saying…" Mari said. "She's got a lot of slutty panties."

"Ok, what about this drawer?" Shinji asked as he pulled it open. "Wow… so this is where all the stuff comes from."

The others looked in the drawer and saw a load of new sake bottles, at least a dozen stacked inside. There was also a few DVDs deep in the corner of the drawer.

"What are these?" Rei asked as she shuffled through the stack. "They have funny titles… _Shaving Ryan's Privates_ , _American Cream Pie_ , _Pacific Rim Job_ …"

" _Forrest Hump_?" Shinji read out.

" _Star Whores_?" Asuka said. "Shouldn't that be _Star Wars_?"

"It's porn, princess… not an actual theatrical picture." Mari said.

"What?!" Asuka shouted. "This is porn?!"

"Of course stupid… _A Few Hard Men_ … _Midsummer's Night Cream_ … _Cumming to America_ … _Girth, Wind, and Fire_ …" Mari continued. "Wow, she has a lot of porn on DVD… she is old. Hasn't she heard of the internet?"

"I guess not…" Shinji said. "So does she get drunk and…"

"Probably." Mari said. "Who hides booze and porn together if they aren't mutually exclusive?"

"So, this is porn?" Rei asked. "I did not realize it was this… interesting. Do they parody many movies?"

"Well, they try to." Mari said. "You should see what people do when they dress up as anime characters and fuck each other."

"People do that?" Asuka said. "What, do they put on fun colored wigs and…"

"Suck dildos that shoot fake cum in their face, yeah." Mari said. "Kinda hot really. I wish I was an anime character… I'd love people to cosplay as me… I'd really like that."

"I wouldn't." Asuka said. "No one can copy this."

"Yeah, they would never get the attitude right, could they princess?" Mari said.

"Nope." Asuka said defiantly.

"I would be flattered if people were to cosplay as me." Rei said. "I do not think if I was a character I would be interesting enough to be imitated."

"Awww… blueberry, you're interesting, I mean you're so quiet and you have that adorable hair!" Mari said sweetly. "I'd cosplay as you…"

"Suck up." Asuka muttered.

"Asuka be quiet." Shinji said sternly.

"Fine, baka… I'll be quiet." Asuka said. "How about we look in her closet?"

"Sure…" Mari said as her and Asuka flung open the doors to see a mess of clothes in two piles, one clean, and one dirty. However, no one could tell which was which.

"The fuck is that?" Mari asked.

"Misato's organizational skills." Shinji said. "That's why I tell her to being me her laundry… I can't tell what's clean or dirty."

"Can she?" Asuka asked. "I mean, she's drunk half the time."

"I think so…" Shinji said. "I think she just smells them."

"Gross…" Asuka said.

"That is why I only have seven school uniforms, two towels, undergarments, and two pairs of shoes." Rei said. "That way I can manage my clothes."

"Blueberry… you've got to be kidding me…" Mari muttered.

"No, I do not have a need for clothes." Rei said. "I do not wear them when I am alone. I feel more comfortable with clothes on."

"Sexy…" Mari muttered.

"Do you not like clothes?" Asuka asked.

"I find them restricting." Rei said. "I only wear them to be a functioning member of society. Besides that, I would rather not wear them."

"Ok…" Asuka said.

Rei walked back to the dresser and pointed at the last drawer. "What about this top drawer?" Rei asked as she pulled it open. "What are all these objects?"

"What the fuck is all that?" Asuka muttered.

"That's…" Shinji stammered.

"I'm so wet right now." Mari said.

Asuka and Rei each picked something up. Rei wiped hers out quite forcefully, hitting poor Shinji right in the eye.

"OW!" Shinji shouted. "Rei… my eye!" Shinji closed his eye and cupped it with his hand. "What did she hit me with?"

"A huge black dildo." Mari said as she sniffed it. "Smells like stale pussy."

"What the fuck?!" Asuka shouted. "You just smelled that?!"

"Yeah… but I wouldn't want to smell what you're holding, princess."

"What is it?" Asuka asked.

"A butt plug." Mari said.

"A what?" Asuka asked.

"Butt… plug…" Mari said slowly. "You shove that bulbous part in your hand up your ass…"

"Motherfucker!" Asuka shouted as she dropped it on Shinji's foot. "That was in her ass?!"

"Yep…" Mari said.

"Asuka… that thing just crushed my foot!" Shinji shouted. "What the fuck is that thing made from, lead?!"

"No, just hard rubber…" Mari said. "Will you relax?"

"No, I just got slapped in the face by a fake dick, and had Misato's anal toy dropped on my foot!" Shinji complained. "I'm getting attacked by fucking sex toys!"

"Baka… relax." Asuka said. "Sorry I dropped the butt thing on your foot."

"It's ok, Asuka." Shinji said.

"I am also sorry Shinji." Rei said as she was distracted by something else. "What is this?" Rei asked. "Why is the nub on the top so large?"

"It's a Hitachi, blueberry." Mari said. "That nub is to uh… stimulate yourself to get off."

"Oh… how intriguing." Rei said.

"Yeah, can we stop taking stuff out of the drawer now?" Shinji asked.

"What are these beads for?" Asuka asked.

"They're anal beads, princess." Mari said. "Do you like anal?"

"Gottverdammt!" Asuka shouted as she tossed the beads and they hit Shinji in the face. "How many anal toys does she have?"

"Well… a few others…" Mari said. "I mean… she has an enema kit… so I'm guessing these dildos have found their way up her ass too…"

"Do people get sexual pleasure from inserting things up their ass?" Rei asked.

"Yeah, some do." Mari said. "Some don't, it depends on the person."

"Interesting." Rei said. "What is this?" Rei asked as she wiped out an even larger dildo, which also hit Shinji in the face, and knocked him to the ground.

"Double ended dildo, blueberry…" Mari said. "Puppy, you ok?"

"No…" Shinji whined. "Can someone help me please… my face hurts… and I smell shit… owww…"

"Oh boy…" Mari said. "Ok… um… Asuka, can you take Shinji to bathroom and wash his face? I'm not sure where any of these things have been…"

"Yeah, up you go, baka." Asuka said as she lifted him up. "Come on, I'll clean you up…"

"Well, he did take two dicks to the face…" Mari quipped.

"Shut up four eyes!" Asuka shouted. "Clean up that depraved woman's toys so she doesn't know we were in here."

"Yeah, yeah, princess." Mari said. "You're so damn bossy."

"Stop whining and get to work." Asuka said.

"Mari… please don't make any jokes like that again… it's embarrassing…" Shinji said.

"Sorry…" Mari blushed. "I couldn't help myself."

"Typical…" Asuka muttered.

"Mari… I will clean this up." Rei said. "Considering I am the one who hurt Shinji, it should be me who cleans up the mess we made."

"Are you sure blueberry?" Mari asked.

"Yes, I am sure." Rei said. "I am not disgusted by what Misato has used these for."

"Whatever you say blueberry." Mari said. "Thanks for this."

"You are quite welcome, Mari." Rei said. "I thought today was very fun… contrary to what I may have thought snooping through someone's belongings is quite enjoyable."

"I'm glad you had fun, blueberry." Mari said happily.

–––

Misato walked into the late that night. The kitchen was empty and fairly clean, and it was quiet. As Misato walked into the living room, she saw the subdued kids look and stare at her. Shinji had a slightly swollen eye and was being held by Asuka, while Mari was sitting on the ground next to the couch holding ice to Shinji's swollen foot. Rei wasn't doing anything because she had fallen asleep and had been covered in a blanket.

"What happened?" Misato asked. "How did Shinji get hurt?"

"Shut up will you?" Asuka said. "You'll wake up Rei."

"Sorry…" Misato said quietly. "But what happened?"

"Oh… it was my fault." Mari said. "We were arguing over what to what to watch, and I let go of the button and it slammed him in the eye."

"Yeah, then Shinji stumbled around and slammed his foot into the couch." Asuka said. "Four eyes here is really dangerous."

"Yeah, but Shinji needs to be more careful." Misato said.

"Yeah, you be careful too Misato." Shinji said snarkily. "We wouldn't want you to overextend yourself."

"Huh?" Misato replied confoundedly as the girls smirked silently, knowing exactly what Shinji meant. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, just how some things look fun, but are really dangerous." Shinji replied coyly.

"Did he hit his head too?" Misato asked. "He's not making any fucking sense."

"He may have…" Mari said quietly. "He uh… fell down too…"

"Mari, stop abusing Shinji!" Misato said sternly. "You're not the one that should be killing him, that's what the Angels are for!"

"Yeah… don't remind us." Asuka said.

"Sorry, miso…" Mari said. "I didn't mean to hurt him…"

"Alright, well don't do it again." Misato said. "But, I'm kinda tired from work… so goodnight. Try not to kill each other…"

"Yeah… sure." Shinji muttered.

"Have fun." Asuka said.

"Don't tire yourself out." Mari quipped.

"You guys are weird today…" Misato muttered as she went to her room. "Whatever…"

Mari turned to look at Shinji as Misato's door closed. "Puppy… you know I didn't mean for you to hurt, right?" Mari pouted. "I just wanted you to have fun…"

"Yeah, it's ok, Mari, I forgive you. You always have the best intentions… no matter what happens." Shinji said. "But keep the ice on a bit longer, my foot still hurts."

"Ok, puppy…" Mari said as she smiled.

"How's your eye?" Asuka asked. "It looks better, it's not a black eye, so that's good."

"It feels better." Shinji said. "Thanks for keeping the ice on there."

"No problem." Asuka said. "I'm just glad you're ok, baka."

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly after Chapter 12 of Episode IV, but before Chapter 1 of Episode V.

So, basically this one shot is just a fun way to make fun of Misato and have Shinji get hit in the face with a dildo. Also, Rei gets to ask her cute naïve questions because she wouldn't know what a sex toy is, and Asuka's reactions to everything were just fun to write too. So, all in all, just a fun little idea to explore, cause we all know Misato's a freak in bed.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	5. Sex is Fun(damental)

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Sex is Fun(damental)

* * *

April 2, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Asuka was just getting home from school. Hikari had made it her day to clean up the classroom, which meant she was in a bad mood. So when she got home all she wanted to do was lay down and have Shinji bring her a snack, but her entire plan was shot to hell when she slid open the door to her room.

Asuka saw Mari laying on her bed, naked, with her laptop on her stomach, the volume on whatever she was watching jacked up, with people screaming in ecstasy, with one hand playing with her breasts, and the other was working her into her own sexual frenzy.

"Oh… man…" Mari muttered, unaware Asuka was standing there. "This feels sooo good… I think I'm about to…"

"What the fuck?!" Asuka shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"Oooh yeah!" Mari screamed, and then she registered Asuka's outrage. "And there goes the afterglow… great…"

"What are you, stupid or something?" Asuka asked. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"Well until you interrupted things, I was having a fucking awesome orgasm." Mari said. "But now I'm just naked and wet… and disappointed that you ruined it."

"Ruined what, your depravity?!" Asuka shouted. "We share this room, you can't just go making it smell all…"

"Like hot masturbation?" Mari asked. "Smells like fun, doesn't it?"

"No, it's fucking disgusting!" Asuka shouted. "I don't want to come home and see you doing that again! I don't want you doing it in here either!"

"Where should I do it princess… the fucking toilet?" Mari asked angrily.

"That's a good place!" Asuka shouted back. "Just as long as I don't have to see you doing it again, I'll be fucking happy!"

"You're never fucking happy!" Mari shouted. "You're prudish as fuck, and you never touch yourself, you need to rub one out… then maybe you'll fucking relax!"

"I'm not like you!" Asuka said angrily. "I can control myself!"

Mari moved her laptop and stood up angrily, her boobs bouncing freely as she did. Even naked, Mari looked quite intimidating. "So can I!" Mari shouted. "And when I have a certain itch, I gotta scratch it!"

"Sounds like you have a rash, four eyes!" Asuka shouted.

"Well, at least I can get off!" Mari retorted.

"Depraved pervert!" Asuka shouted.

"Frigid prude!" Mari screamed.

"Will both of you shut the fuck up!" Shinji shouted from the kitchen. "I don't know what you're yelling about, but I don't want to hear it!"

"How did he even…" Mari muttered.

"Well, are you two done yelling at each other like children?!" Shinji asked.

"Yeah… whatever, puppy!" Mari said loudly. "We're fine!"

"Yeah, baka!" Asuka added.

"Good, dinner's done, so get ready to eat!" Shinji shouted back.

"Alright!" Mari replied loudly.

"Well, you better put some clothes on, pervert." Asuka said. "You can't eat dinner all naked like that."

"Watch me." Mari said.

"Hey, I'm not eating dinner with your tits flopping all over the table!" Asuka said.

"Excuse me, they're perky, not floppy!" Mari retorted.

"Yeah, well gravity is not helping!" Asuka said.

"At least I have tits… unlike you!" Mari shot back as pulled on a loose tank top and panties. "Yeah, can't argue with the truth, can you princes?"

"I hate you." Asuka muttered. "My boobs are cute and perky…"

"Hate me all you want, princess." Mari said as she walked out of the room. "It won't make your tiny titties any bigger…"

"Yeah, well if I catch you masturbating in here again, I'll fucking beat you to death with that dildo of yours."

"Fine…" Mari said. "I'll do it somewhere else…" Mari sighed. "Cause you would beat someone to death with a dildo…"

* * *

April 4, 2016 – Tokyo–3 Junior High School, Class 2–A

Mari was sitting quietly at her desk. Asuka was glaring at her from the windowsill where she was causally chatting with Rei and Shinji. Seeing as Toji and Kensuke were down in the lunchroom getting copious amounts of food to chow down on, Hikari came over to see why Mari looked so down.

"Hey, Mari… are you alright?" Hikari asked.

"Sorta…" Mari replied. "I uh… I'm a little light headed."

"Are you ok, do you need to go to the nurse?" Hikari asked.

"No… I…" Mari said. "Can I ask you something private?" Mari asked.

"Sure…?" Hikari replied.

"It's about… uh…" Mari whispered. "Masturbation…"

"What about it?" Hikari asked.

"Do you uh…" Mari said. "How often do you…"

"At least once a day." Hikari said. "Why do you even care though? Are you trying to tell me something?"

"No it's not that, you like that big goofy jock, freckles." Mari said. "You are cute as a button though." Mari smiled widely. "I was just saying that, Asuka says she doesn't… I mean I think I saw her once while we were asleep… but how can she not… take care of it."

"Mari. What brought this up?" Hikari asked.

"Well… she caught me right as I was fishing yesterday and flipped out." Mari said. "She said I can't do it in the room anymore."

"Did you tell Shinji?" Hikari asked. "He's always good at mediating for you two."

"No…" Mari said. "I didn't want to bring him into the argument… Asuka would have just ended up calling him a pervert for doing the same thing."

"Makes sense." Hikari said. "So what are you going to do?"

"Well… I'm not doing it in the bathroom… and I really wanted to go for round three and four last night in bed, but Asuka was glaring at me all night…" Mari explained.

"Killed the mood, huh?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah, drier than the Sahara…" Mari replied. "I've got like major blue labia right now."

"After one night?" Hikari asked.

"Well, it had been a few weeks because Asuka wasn't sleeping, and sync tests make me too tired to care, and I don't like having to do it while she's laying there…" Mari said. "And I can go three or four times a day and be really happy… I need the release."

"Well, you can always try the bathroom…" Hikari suggested.

"No, I'm not rubbing it out on the toilet." Mari said. "I like using my bed, it's comfy."

"Well, you have to think of something." Hikari said. "Otherwise you're gonna be horny forever…"

"How about we hook Shinji and Asuka up, and then he'll fuck her brains out and she won't be so wound up anymore." Mari suggested.

"How about thinking of a more probable and time sensitive plan." Hikari said.

"Fine…" Mari huffed. "But that was my only idea…"

"As nice as it is, you didn't put a lot of thought into it." Hikari replied.

"Well… it's the only way I see her loosening up." Mari retorted. "Shinji's gonna have to bone her and make her scream for more."

Hikari blushed. "Mari… that's extremely…"

"Erotic." Mari finished. "I know, but it's the only way."

"Yeah, you're probably right…" Hikari muttered as she continued to blush.

"Are you thinking about the jock throwing his bone into you?" Mari asked.

"Yeah…" Hikari muttered. "All this talk about sex is making me…"

"Horny and wet." Mari replied quietly. "Or am I wrong?"

"No, you're right… but we're at school…" Hikari whispered. "I can't fix the problem here… no matter how much I want to." Hikari sighed sullenly. "I have to wait until I get home… which is so long from now."

"At least you can do it at home…" Mari muttered. "I have the biggest prude ever living in the bed next to me…"

* * *

April 5, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Shinji was sitting alone in his room. He was listening to music on his bed, and trying to relax. Mari and Asuka had been unusually hostile towards each other the past few days, and even though Shinji was curious, he didn't want to get dragged into another one of their fights, as he was tired of always fixing their problems for them.

'Best to let them figure it out on their own for once.' Shinji thought. 'I hate having to take sides between my best friend and… well the girl I love I guess. Damn, I hate seeing them fight… I wish they'd get along…'

Shinji's thought however were interrupted by Mari barging into his room laptop in hand.

"Puppy, I need a big favor!" Mari said.

Shinji removed his earphones and looked over at Mari. "What's so important that you ran in here with your laptop?"

"Well, uh… you know that argument me and princess had the other day?" Mari asked.

"Yeah… a deaf person wouldn't have missed that." Shinji said.

"Well… she uh… caught me masturbating…" Mari blushed. "Well, actually she caught me cumming, and she ruined it."

"Mari… the point?" Shinji asked.

"I need somewhere to masturbate that isn't the bathroom or a public area or my room which leaves…" Mari said.

"My room…" Shinji replied.

"Yeah… so can I… please?" Mari begged.

"Mari… it's a little weird." Shinji said. "Even for our friendship."

"It's not like I'm asking you to do it for me, puppy." Mari said. "Unless you want to help me out a bit… your hands look soft enough…"

"Mari!" Shinji said.

"Sorry… I'm just horny." Mari said sheepishly. "You know how that is when you just need a go. It's a little hard to think about anything else."

"Yeah…" Shinji said. "I guess you can… but can you keep it down, I was trying to nap."

"Are you sure?" Mari said. "You don't want to watch or anything?" Mari smirked. "I could put on a show for you… maybe help you out…"

"Mari, I'm fine." Shinji said. "You know I like Asuka… I don't want to jeopardize that."

Mari walked over to Shinji and kissed his forehead. "Ok, puppy, you're a great friend."

"Yeah, I know." Shinji said. "Just don't do your usual… uh…"

"I'll keep the screaming orgasms to a minimum." Mari said. "I can use your desk, right?"

"Yeah, you're not doing it on the bed." Shinji said.

"Why not… I've been in your bed before…" Mari said.

"To cuddle." Shinji replied. "You're obviously really horny, you keep hitting on me."

"Is that a bad thing?" Mari asked.

"No… at least you're cute." Shinji joked.

"Look at that, the puppy can flirt." Mari joked. "Maybe you should try that with the princess…"

"Mari, you know my reasons why…" Shinji said. "I'm too afraid."

"Fine whatever." Mari said. "Put your headphones back in, I'm… uh… I need to deal with my problem."

"Go for it." Shinji said as he put his earphones back in and closed his eyes. "Oh, and don't make me smell your fingers again… it was only funny the first time."

"Fine…" Mari huffed. "You're no fun."

Asuka was sitting alone in her room playing a game. Mari had disappeared a while ago, Asuka didn't really care to where, seeing as she wasn't being bothered by Mari's tendency to be as annoying as possible.

"Man… I forget how quiet it is without that four eyed monster bugging me all the time." Asuka muttered. "I like the quiet." Asuka's stomach growled loudly. "Well… that blows… now I'm hungry."

Asuka saved her game and got up. She stretched quite loudly. "I need Shinji to make me a snack." Asuka said. "I want nachos."

Asuka wandered out to the living room, assuming that's where he would be, but the room was empty. "Damn it, where is he… I'm hungry."

Asuka wandered to the kitchen and saw that the bathroom was empty. When she got to the kitchen it was also empty. She peered down towards the door and saw Shinji's shoes were still there in the entryway, as were Mari's. "Where the hell could he be?" Asuka said. "Baka! Where the hell are you? I need a snack!"

Asuka got no response to her shout and decided to go to his room and find out if he was napping. As she slid open the door without knocking she was infuriated by what she saw. Shinji was half asleep on his bed, and Mari at his desk, her shirt on the floor next to her, and her shorts and panties around her ankles working herself over in a rapid fury. Once again, Asuka saw Mari arch her back as she finished for a third time.

"What the fuck!" Asuka screamed. "Why the fuck are you in here, four eyes!"

Shinji's was so severely startled he fell out of bed, and Mari's head dropped and she sighed deeply. "What the fuck do you think I'm doing here, princess?" Mari said angrily. "I was getting away from you're prudishness."

"Baka, why did you let her in here?!" Asuka shouted. "Where you watching her touch herself, you fucking pervert!?"

"No… I…" Shinji said nervously. "I was asleep till you came in here and started shouting."

"Then why was she in here?!" Asuka shouted. "Answer me, baka!"

"She needed somewhere to masturbate because you won't let her use her own room!" Shinji said back angrily. "What kind of rule is that, anyway!?"

"The kind where I don't walk in on her playing with herself!" Asuka shouted. "I'm tired of her doing it!"

"It's not your choice, Asuka!" Shinji shouted. "You don't get to make those kinds of decisions, it's not fair!"

"Yeah, I don't find it very fair, either, princess!" Mari shouted as she stood up angrily, tits flailing freely once again. "I shouldn't have to be celibate and not touch myself to make you happy! The world doesn't revolve around you!"

"Well, I'm tired of you do that shit all the time!" Asuka shouted. "I hate hearing you moan like that!"

"Jealous of me, princess?!" Mari shouted back. "Jealous you can't get yourself to cum?!"

"Of course I'm jealous you fucking idiot!" Asuka shouted. "I hate that you can get off so much and I haven't ever been able to!"

The room went silent, and Mari just stared at Asuka blankly. She absentmindedly pulled up her panties and shorts and just blinked. "Wait… really? Why didn't you say anything…"

"I… I' embarrassed, ok!" Asuka said angrily. "I don't like talking about sex… I never really had anyone to explain anything to me…"

"Oh, princess… I'm sorry…" Mari said. "I… I feel bad…"

"You should be." Asuka muttered angrily.

Shinji sighed. "Mari… could you put your shirt back on?" Shinji said. "Asuka… are you ok?"

"No, I'm not." Asuka said. "Now a boy knows that I... touch myself."

"Asuka, who cares?" Shinji said. "I do the same thing. We've told you this before… it's natural and nothing to be ashamed of."

"Yeah… but I didn't grow up somewhere where things like this were talked about." Asuka said. "I don't really know anything."

"But you've been to college, princess." Mari said. "How do you not know?"

"They never really elaborated on it in Germany." Asuka said. "When I got my high school equivalency done, it wasn't on the test. I mean, I know people have sex… but I don't really… uh… know."

"Do you want to know, princess?" Mari asked.

"Well… yeah…" Asuka said. "I mean… I feel kinda stupid not knowing."

"Well, looks like you're going to get schooled by me." Mari said. "I know a lot about sex, with the internet and all…"

"Oh great… did you Google the answer?" Shinji asked.

"Google will tell you anything you want to know." Mari said. "Even if you're looking for a famous person naked, just type naked after their name and poof, titties and everything!"

"You're like a kid in a fucking candy store." Asuka said.

"If the candy store has cocks and tits, then yes." Mari said happily.

"Oh my god…" Shinji said.

"So, do you mind if I explain the birds and the bees to you, princess?" Mari asked.

"I guess not." Asuka said. "You would be the knowledgeable one in the room."

"Good, you and the puppy will be my students." Mari said brightly. "Now, let me just pull up some pertinent details…"

"Why do I have to be here?" Shinji asked.

"Just cause you watch porn doesn't mean you know anything about sex, puppy." Mari said. "You should know how to please a woman, right?"

"Fine…" Shinji said as he sat down awkwardly next to Asuka. "Make this quick."

"So what were you watching on there…" Asuka's eyes fell on the computer screen and her jaw dropped. "What the fuck is that thing?! What the fuck is that other thing?! What are they doing?!" Asuka shouted. "It's fucking disgusting!"

Mari and Shinji looked puzzledly at the computer and looked back at her, with Mari being the one to respond. "That's called a vagina, princess. And the thing getting shoved in it like that is a penis." Mari said sarcastically. "Haven't you ever seen either one before? I mean, I would hope you've at least a vagina before…"

"No…" Asuka said. "Why would I look at vaginas?"

"Well, you have one, don't you, princess?" Mari asked. "Do you know anything about it?"

"Other than it makes me want to fucking die once a month, nope." Asuka said.

"Wow… you're more of a lost cause than I realized…" Mari said. "Ok, let's get to work."

"Right now?" Asuka asked.

"No time like the present, princess." Mari said. "Ok… so… you know babies come out of there, right?"

"Yeah… I'm not a fucking idiot." Asuka said.

"Ok, so I can skip that." Mari said. "Ok… so you don't know anything about your vagina then…"

"No…" Asuka said sheepishly. "My mother never got to explain it to me."

"And Misato never did?" Shinji asked. "Wasn't she your guardian in Germany?"

"Not the most effective one." Asuka said. "Kaji tried once, but he's not a girl."

"Ok, so you haven't been able to get yourself off either…" Mari said as she pulled up a close up picture of a vagina. "Well, then, these are the labia, princess. This is the exterior portion of the vagina, it's what everyone sees on the outside. Once you get past those, you have a whole bunch of other stuff, the other set of labia, the clitoris, and the actual vaginal opening. Do you understand all that, princess?"

"I guess…" Asuka said as Shinji sat there silently. "So, I'm guessing there's more to it than that, right, four eyes?"

"You're right, princess." Mari said. "Now… how many times have you tried to get off? Be honest, I want to help you."

"Two or three…" Asuka said as she looked down and blushed heavily. Shinji did his best to avoid her gaze. "It wasn't very fun…"

"How were you doing it?" Mari asked.

"I was just rubbing it I guess." Asuka replied.

"How hard were you rubbing it?" Mari asked.

"Gently…" Asuka replied sheepishly. "I didn't want to hurt myself."

"Did you stick any fingers in there?" Mari asked.

"Why the hell would I stick anything in there?" Asuka asked.

"To stimulate yourself, princess." Mari said as she shook her head. "Do you have any idea how to properly stimulate yourself?"

"No… I thought you just ran your hands over it and it would… you know…" Asuka said.

"Oh…" Shinji muttered.

"It doesn't work like that princess." Mari said. "There are two spots of erotic stimulation for girls, the clitoris, and the G–spot."

"And where are those?" Asuka asked.

"The clitoris is hidden above the vagina, inside the labia, protected by the clitoral hood." Mari said. "When you're horny and aroused, it gets engorged like a penis, which makes it more sensitive and such. The G–spot is inside the vagina, somewhere along the top of it if you're laying down, that requires penetration to get to. When you stimulate yourself properly and make yourself aroused before rubbing one out, you should be able to orgasm with your fingers or some kind of toy. You'll know you're aroused when you feel wet."

"So I did it wrong?" Asuka asked. "I fucked it up?"

"No, you just didn't know, princess." Mari said. "It's not your fault."

"I'm so stupid." Asuka said. "I should have been able to figure out how to do this."

"No, princess, you're wrong." Mari said kindly. "No one ever explained any of this to you, it's not your fault at all."

"So all I have to do is get in the mood?" Asuka asked.

"Well, it's more complicated than that… but it's a good start." Mari said. "Do you know how to become aroused?"

"Think of something that makes you happy?" Asuka asked.

"Or watch porn." Mari said. "Shinji, how do you… oh my…"

Shinji groaned in embarrassment as he kept trying to cover his erection. He kept his gaze averted from both girls.

"Is that…?" Asuka asked. "What I think it is?"

"Yeah…" Mari said.

"Why is it so large?" Asuka asked. "I mean, it looks like he's got bratwurst in his pants."

"It's called a penis, princess." Mari said sarcastically.

"I know that, but is it supposed to be like that?" Asuka asked.

"Do you want him to whip it out and show you or something?" Mari asked.

"No, I'm not a pervert!" Asuka said as her face turned the same color as her hair.

"Sure you don't…" Mari muttered. "So, puppy, you ok?" Mari asked.

"No…" Shinji said weakly. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Why?" Mari asked. "Did all this talk turn you on?"

Shinji nodded silently.

"Pervert…" Asuka muttered.

"Shut up, princess." Mari said. "I'm guessing I interrupted you earlier?"

"Yeah…" Shinji said. "I haven't done anything today… I was going to, but then you came in, and then I figured I could wait till after you left, but then Asuka…" Shinji looked down again. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be… I should apologize, puppy." Mari said. "It's mostly my fault. All this talk about masturbation and vaginas is kinda unfair."

"So he got what… aroused cause we talked about it?" Asuka asked. "That's kinda funny."

"No, it's not funny, it's cuter than anything else." Mari said. "Sorry, puppy, I didn't mean to get you all… riled up."

"Yeah… sorry baka." Asuka asked.

"It's ok…" Shinji said quietly. "It's not anyone's fault."

"So, should we leave so you can… take care of business?" Mari asked.

"I don't think that would work." Shinji said. "It'd be weird if you knew what I was doing…"

"Not really, you were sitting here while I was rubbing one out." Mari said.

"It's wired for me for you guys to know." Shinji said.

"Puppy, I know you jerk off." Mari said. "It's no secret… all those tissues you use?"

Shinji blushed. "Fine… then do you mind? The pressure is starting to hurt."

"Pressure?" Asuka asked. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Oh my god… you're hopeless…" Mari muttered. "His dick is pressing against his pants, cause there isn't enough room." Mari rolled her eyes. "Come on princess, let's go."

Asuka gave Shinji a puzzled look as she left and Mari smiled as she grabbed her laptop and left. Shinji, finally alone got up and closed his door.

"Man… I have to jerk off so bad now." Shinji said. "Asuka talking about touching herself was just too much…" Shinji smiled as he laid down in bed and took off his pants. "I guess I'm going to think about her do that while I touch myself…"

Shinji smiled as his hand dove down his pants as he stoked to thoughts of the girl he loved doing the same to herself.

–––

When Asuka went back to her room, Mari went to take a shower, leaving Asuka all on her own. She laid down in bed and took off her pants.

"Wow… Shinji was really aroused by me talking about masturbating." Asuka thought. "And for some reason I feel warm down there…" Asuka reached down and felt her wetness. "I guess this is what Mari was talking about… I'm aroused think about Shinji…"

Asuka blushed heavily as she realized what this meant. "I really do like him a lot…" Asuka muttered. "So I guess for me to get off I have to think of Shinji and his hard… bratwurst…"

Asuka's hand ventured into her panties and she explored herself for the first time. She gasped as she touched the areas Mari had pointed out, making herself squirm with pleasure.

"Shinji…" Asuka muttered. "I wish you were touching me instead…"

With this thought in mind, Asuka was able to bring herself to her first orgasm, her toes curled and her back arched as she tried to stifle her scream of ecstasy. "Holy shit… no wonder that four eyed deviant does this so much…" Asuka muttered. "That felt better than anything else…"

Mari came back in from her shower to see Asuka breathing heavily on her bed, her face flush. Asuka was startled when she walked in, but Mari ignored it.

"Glad you took what I said to heart, princess." Mari said. "How was it?"

"Better than I thought." Asuka said. "I feel… I feel really good."

"So… does that mean you finished?" Mari asked.

Asuka blushed. "Well… yeah… it was weird." Asuka said. "Is it supposed to hurt and feel great at the same time?"

"Yeah… you did it right." Mari said proudly. "Good job, princess." Mari smirked. "So, what were you thinking about, princess? Was it the puppy?"

"That's none of your business, four eyes!" Asuka replied.

"Touchy, touchy." Mari joked. "It almost sounds like you were being defensive when I suggested you were thinking about the puppy." Mari grinned devilishly. "Did his hard prick turn you on, princess?"

"No!" Asuka replied angrily. "What are you suggesting?!"

"That his cock made you wet, princess." Mari purred. "I know it did for me… that's why I stayed in the shower so long." Mari smirked. "I needed some time alone…"

"Pervert!" Asuka said. "Why the hell did you do that?!"

"What, it's natural to be aroused by something like that." Mari said. "Don't be pissed at yourself if you were. I won't tease you."

"So what if I did…" Asuka said. "Even if I did, it doesn't mean I like him…"

"I didn't suggest that princess…" Mari said. "What are you saying? Do you like the puppy or something?"

"I'm saying nothing…" Asuka muttered. "Nothing at all…"

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly after Chapter 12 of Episode IV, but before Chapter 1 of Episode V.

So basically another fun one. There is a built in conflict, as Asuka likes to repress her sexual desires, and well Mari… Asuka hates Mari masturbating, Mari loves masturbating so she turns to Shinji for a place to rub one out… and she gets caught again, but is grossed out by the porn and knows nothing about sex ed. That seems like Asuka, naïve about porn and how sex and everything works. So Mari gives them both (poor Shinji) a lesson about sex. Personally my favorite is Asuka finding out what a vagina looks like, as she's never looked at her own… and she finally admits that's she's touched herself before, but couldn't get anything to happen.

Also… erection jokes, because why wouldn't Shinji be hard while Mari shows porn and explains sex with the girl he loves sitting within handjob distance. Poor boy deserves a medal for not blowing his load with all those stimuli around him.

Then of course, this one shot takes place just after Asuka admits that she likes Shinji, and well before she admits she actually loves him, so the awkwardness of for her to actually cum thinking about him is both funny and cute, and of course, Shinji does the same thing, once again pointing out how similar the two of them are to each other.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	6. Moving Forward

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Moving Forward

* * *

March 17, 2017 – Comfort 17 Apartments

It had been several months since the Battle of the Geofront, and the kids were now adjusting to life outside of NERV and dealing with the constant threat of an Angel attack. They actually had a lot more time to themselves lately, and as life returned to normal in Tokyo–3, they were preparing to go back to school at the beginning of April.

So, they spent as much time as they could doing absolutely nothing, hanging around the apartment or just going out with their friends. This particular day found the former pilots lounging around the apartment while Misato was one again at work dealing with the duties that came from being NERV's Provisional Commander.

Like most days, Misato had been gone most of the day, leaving early in the morning. So, as was their normal routine around dinner time, Mari was napping, Asuka and Rei were watching TV, and Shinji was getting ready to make dinner. However, for once, instead of coming home well after dinner, came home early smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh, hey Misato." Shinji said. "You're home early for once."

"Well, I have good news." Misato said. "Where is everyone?"

"Mari's asleep." Shinji said. "And Asuka and Rei I think are still watching TV."

"Asuka, Rei, come in here!" Misato called out. "And Shinji… would you mind getting Mari?"

"No, it'll be better than letting Asuka wake her up." Shinji said as he walked off.

"What's up Misato?" Asuka asked as she and Rei passed Shinji on their way into the kitchen.

"Oh, I have some good news." Misato said. "But you all need to be here or it."

"Must be good, if you're home early." Asuka said. "Can I guess?"

"No." Misato said. "Don't try and ruin it, Asuka."

"I'm not." Asuka said.

"Is it exciting news?" Rei asked. "Worthy of celebrating?"

"What did I say about guessing?" Misato asked.

"I'm not guessing  _what_  the news is, simply  _how_  the news may be received." Rei said.

"Nice try." Misato said. "But don't split hairs Rei."

"It was worth the effort." Rei said as Shinji returned with a rather grumpy Mari.

"This better be good, miso." Mari said. "I was really comfortable in bed…"

"It is important." Misato said. "So, everyone sit down at the table." Everyone sat down and looked at her. "So… I got a call today from social services… and they informed me that your adoptions have all gone through, and now I'm your legal guardian, outside of NERV."

"So… it's done?" Rei asked. "You're our mother now?"

"No, I'm not your mother… unless you want to call me that." Misato said.

"I… I've never had a mother…" Rei said. "Can I call you mom?"

"I… I don't see why not." Misato said. "But I don't expect the rest of you to call me that."

"I can't Misato." Asuka said. "It's not anything against you but… you know… my momma is in Unit–02."

"The same goes for me." Shinji said. "I have a mother… but she's trapped too."

"I just can't call someone who's younger than me my mother." Mari said as she got up and hugged Misato tightly. "Doesn't mean I don't love you like one, miso."

"Mari… that's so…" Misato murmured.

"Are you gonna cry, miso?" Mari asked.

"No… it's just… onions." Misato mumbled.

"You're a bad liar." Asuka said.

"I… well, it's just nice you all care so much." Misato said. "You're the closest I'll get to actually having children of my own…"

"What do you mean?" Rei asked.

"Rei, not now." Shinji whispered as Misato began to sob.

"Hey, don't cry Misato." Asuka said. "It'll be ok…"

"Yeah… I… I guess…" Misato sobbed.

"Onii–chan, why is she crying?" Rei asked quietly while Asuka and Mari tried to calm Misato down.

"Because she misses Kaji." Shinji whispered back. "I think they wanted to have kids someday…"

"Oh…" Rei mumbled as she walked over to the still crying Misato and hugged her. "Mr. Kaji was always very kind to me… I can understand why you miss him."

Misato glanced at Rei and returned the hug. "Yeah… he was a good guy…"

"Misato, didn't you say you had a few things to tell us?" Mari asked.

"Well… " Misato mumbled as she wiped her face off. "I… hold on." Misato took a deep breath. "Mari, can you let go?"

"Sure miso." Mari replied. "So… what's the news?"

"Well, with the adoption being final, we can finally move into a bigger apartment." Misato said. "And Rei can move out of that old apartment of hers and in with us officially."

"Where are we moving though?" Shinji asked.

"Upstairs to the fourteenth floor… the penthouse." Misato said.

"Can you afford that, Misato?" Asuka asked.

"Asuka, I don't know how many times I've told you… I own the apartment." Misato said. "But I guess I should probably get some tenants… it's kinda empty."

"But why?" Mari asked. "It's nice not having neighbors."

"Mari, what's the point of owning an entire building if it just sits here empty?" Misato asked.

"I don't know… I'm not the one who owns an empty building." Mari replied.

"Oh, never mind." Misato said. "So, Shinji, you'll be in charge of the move."

"Why me?" Shinji asked.

"Because you're the most responsible and I trust you to decorate the apartment appropriately." Misato said.

"Aren't we just moving everything from down here up?" Shinji asked.

"No… I want to keep this apartment the way it is." Misato said.

"Why?" Shinji asked.

"I… I don't know." Misato said. "But I'll give you my credit card and you can order all new furniture and stuff for the penthouse."

"Ok…" Shinji said.

"Misa… mom, can I help onii–chan?" Rei said. "And can I furnish my own room?"

"Sure, Rei." Misato said. "Whatever you want."

"Misato… I thought you were broke." Shinji said. "How are you going to afford new furniture? I mean, you barely afford food or anything else."

"Well… I never told you kids this…" Misato said. "But… I got a huge settlement from the government after my father died in Second Impact. I just never really wanted to use it. Other than buying this building, and buying my car, I haven't really spent it on anything."

"So, you're rich?" Mari asked.

"Well off." Misato said. "But that's not the point. We can afford new stuff, I'm just cheap."

"So… can we all get TVs?" Mari asked.

"If you really want a TV Mari, you can use your own paycheck." Misato said.

"But… I don't have a job." Mari said. "I'm poor."

"No, you're actually not." Misato said. "You four got paid very well for being pilot, and you're still getting paid."

"We got paid?!" Asuka shouted.

"Well yeah, but as minors with no legal guardian, the money was held in trust." Misato said. "Are you surprised?"

"Sure am." Asuka said. "I'm apparently not broke."

"I know, it's nice to have money." Mari said.

"I can't believe we got paid." Shinji said.

"Even me?" Rei asked.

"Yes, Rei, even you." Misato said.

"So… what can we buy with all that money…" Mari wondered aloud.

"Look… you might have money, but you shouldn't waste it." Misato said. "And you guys even have pensions from this experience, so you'll keep getting paid."

"Seriously?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, it's crazy, but with how dangerous your jobs were, it was only natural." Misato said. "But… I only just found out about it today… so can we talk about this later?"

"Why not." Asuka said. "Not like it's going to disappear."

"Good point." Mari said. "But what do we do now?"

"How about we go to dinner and celebrate?" Shinji suggested.

"Yeah, karaoke!" Mari shouted.

"Can't we go somewhere without music?" Rei asked. "Like a normal family?"

"We're kind far from a normal family." Asuka said. "But I'm with Rei, let's go to a nice restaurant to celebrate… somewhere we have to dress up."

"But I don't wanna!" Mari said. "Dressing up sucks donkey balls!"

"It's not that bad, Mari." Shinji said. "You at least get to wear a dress…"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Asuka asked.

"Guys can't wear dresses… " Shinji said. "You guys can choose not to wear pants."

"That's logical." Rei said. "Dresses allow for freedom of movement, which pants do not allow."

"Still, I don't want to dress up." Mari said. "I hate dressing up!"

"You don't really have a choice, four eyes." Asuka said. "We're going somewhere nice for once."

"So… dinner out at a nice place then." Misato said. "Sounds like a plan to me."

"Damn it…" Mari muttered as she sulked off to her room. "Do I even have a dress?"

"I should go help her." Asuka said.

"I'll get her." Misato said. "I should have something that'll fit her… chest."

"Do you have something for me?" Rei asked. "I don't really have anything… exquisite."

"I might." Misato said. "Just wait till I've wrangled Mari, and we'll get you something too."

"Thank you… mom." Rei replied with a broad smile.

* * *

March 30, 2017 – Tokyo–3, Old Hakone Quarter

It was a quiet day out and Rei was doing something one last time. She was making sure nothing remained at her old apartment of any worth. Asuka had gone along with her to help, even though Rei insisted that she didn't need any, Asuka was still curious about where Rei had been living all this time.

"So this is it?" Asuka asked. "It's a dump."

"Yes… I was put here to isolate me from everyone else." Rei said as they began to climb up. "It is not a clean environment… and before I didn't really care… but after seeing how Shinji keeps everything, it all seems so obvious how wrong it is."

"Well, yeah, we're not meant to live in filth…" Asuka said as they passed mold growing in the stairwell. "I mean… I might not pick up my dirty panties… but this is totally fucked."

"Not even Misato's room is as bad as this place." Rei replied.

"Well… yeah." Asuka said. "Doesn't this place have a fucking elevator?"

"No, it like the rest of the building, is quite useless." Rei said.

"Man, how did you survive doing this all the time?" Asuka asked.

"I was usually at NERV being tested by Dr. Akagi." Rei replied. "I can't believe I thought this place a refuge from there…"

"Well, when it's being with her or being here, I'd have a tough choice to make." Asuka said.

"Well, it's no longer a choice I have to make." Rei said as they reached her floor. "Dr. Akagi is in a prison somewhere very far away, and I live somewhere wonderful now."

"Well, as wonderful as it can be living with Misato and Mari." Asuka said.

"Misato is not that bad." Rei said. "She's very kind to me."

"And what about Mari?" Asuka asked.

"I… I don't know anymore, Asuka." Rei said. "And I would prefer not to discuss it."

"Ok." Asuka said. "Consider it dropped."

"Well, this is it." Rei said. "My old home." Rei pushed open the door and stepped inside, and didn't bother to take off her shoes when she did. "It's even worse than I remember."

"Wow… everyone was not kidding…" Asuka said. "How did you live like this?"

"I wasn't really living, Asuka." Rei said. "I was nothing more than a ghost in a shell."

"And what's changed?" Asuka asked.

"Onii–chan." Rei said. "Without him… his compassion, I'd be nothing. And you as well, Asuka, you taught me that I did not have to be silent, that I had a voice, even if I was too afraid at time to speak my mind."

"That's… unexpected." Asuka replied. "No one's ever said that I was good influence."

"Onii–chan must have." Rei said.

"No, he's just happy to be with me." Asuka said. "There's a big difference on that."

"Even so, it's nice that you make each other… happy." Rei said.

"Most of the time." Asuka said. "We have our moments."

"I thought that fighting was a part of relationships." Rei said.

"It is, but sometimes I get frustrated and yell at him for no reason." Asuka said. "Mostly just so we can… make up." Asuka blushed. "Don't him I said that."

"You mean you create arguments just to have sex?" Rei asked.

"Yeah…" Asuka said as she looked down at the ground.

"I won't tell him." Rei said. "I have kept far more dangerous secrets as of late."

"Haven't we all…" Asuka muttered. 'What's her deal about not mentioning Mari…' Asuka thought as she looked around the dingy apartment. 'I thought they were in love… I don't get her reluctance to talk about her…' Asuka didn't see much was there. "So, uh, this is it? Is there anything you want to take?"

"There is only one thing I came to retrieve." Rei said as she moved the shelf near her bed. "My Mew."

"Is that a Pokémon doll?" Asuka asked.

"Yes." Rei said. "I thought onii–chan could add it to his collection."

"Did you buy that?" Asuka asked.

"No… it was a gift from the Commander… long ago." Rei muttered. "Before I ever died, and before I was isolated."

"So, it's special?" Asuka asked.

"No, but it does remind of a time when I felt normal…" Rei said as she picked up her plushie. "Something I hope to feel again soon."

"You were never abnormal, Rei." Asuka said quietly as she cleared her throat. "So that's it then, the rest of this stays here?" Asuka asked.

"Yes, we may depart." Rei said as turned and left, with Asuka following close behind as they headed for home.

–––

Shinji was napping on the new couch when Asuka and Rei returned. They had mistakenly gone to the old apartment downstairs out of habit, and forgotten that today was the first day in the new apartment. They got back in the elevator and went up to the top floor, and went to their new spacious apartment. When they were last there a week ago, it was empty and unpainted, but now, with Shinji's efforts for the past few weeks having paid off, the apartment was fully furnished. They were both amazed by how drastically things had changed. The walls still smelled vaguely of paint, new appliances lined the kitchen, and new furniture was everywhere. The apartment was almost four times the size of their previous one, featuring many more rooms along an extended veranda. The hallway to the kitchen was much longer, but the kitchen was also proportionately larger as well. Leaving the kitchen, they walked into the much larger living room, with its two new couches, one of which was occupied by a napping Shinji, and its massive TV and pair of armchairs.

"Wow… this is amazing…" Asuka said as she looked to her right and saw another hallway that led to the bedrooms, and to the left where the master bedroom was situated right off the living room, just as it was in their old apartment.

"Onii–chan did a wonderful job." Rei said

"Well, you helped." Asuka said.

"All I did was furnish my own room." Rei said.

"So… the stuff Shinji had me look at…" Asuka asked.

"Was to furnish your room." Rei said.

" _My_  room, or  _our_  room?" Asuka asked.

"Why don't you ask onii–chan?" Rei replied. "He's the one who did all this."

"I think I will…" Asuka said devilishly as she crept over to snoozing Shinji and tickled his cheek. "Baka… wake up…"

Shinji opened his eyes drowsily and saw Asuka staring at him. "What…?" Shinji mumbled.

"Which one's our room?" Asuka asked.

"Second on the left." Shinji said. "Between Rei and Mari's rooms."

"So… we're sharing a room?" Asuka asked.

"Just like we wanted to." Shinji said.

"Is that appropriate though?" Rei asked.

"We're dating, of course it's appropriate." Shinji said tiredly. "We already sleep in the same room, and…" Shinji trailed off.

"And what, baka?" Asuka asked.

"I like being next to you when I'm asleep." Shinji said. "I feel… safe."

"Oh, you're so cute." Asuka said. "So the bed and sheets and stuff you showed me…"

"Is everything I bought for our room." Shinji said.

"And that yellow paint color I liked?" Asuka asked.

"That's the color of our room… just like that sun dress you have." Shinji said.

"And my room is powder blue." Rei said proudly. "I looks very nice."

"What about Mari's room?" Asuka asked. "Is it some horrific color?"

"It's not horrific!" Mari said as she came out of her room. "It's tan!"

"Seriously… it's not pink?" Asuka asked.

"No, I was surprised myself." Shinji said.

"That's way too much pink, even for me princess." Mari said. "Besides… I still have pink sheets, and a pink lamp!"

"That makes more sense." Asuka muttered.

"Tadaima!" Misato called from the entrance.

"We're in here, miso!" Mari shouted back.

Misato walked in looking worn down. It was her first time home in over a week, due to Fuyutsuki's long trial finishing and his relatively lite conviction of life in prison now hitting the public airwaves, in addition to more detailed information about the events that occurred in Tokyo–3 from the previous two years, the Provisional Commander of NERV was expected to take high level phone calls and do interviews to assure people that the Evangelions pose no harm to anyone anymore, and that the Angels were gone. So due to people from all over the world calling for her, she decided to sleep in her office, leaving the kids to their own devices.

"Wow, Shinji, you did a great job!" Misato said happily. "I knew I could trust you."

"Well, I did my best." Shinji said.

"No, you did wonderfully." Misato said.

"So how was the circus?" Mari asked.

"What do you mean?" Misato asked. "I'm tired, less jokes."

"You know, how did you deal with all the interviews?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, you might not have been home, but you were on TV a lot." Asuka said.

"I wasn't expecting it." Misato said. "I never thought people would be that interested in anything about the EVAs."

"Well, they believe them to be a threat." Rei said. "I can understand their concern."

"Well, they're not a threat to anyone anymore." Misato said. "At least for the time being."

"Do you really think they'll stay asleep?" Mari asked.

"I don't know…" Misato said. "All I can do is hope."

"That's gotten us so much in the past." Asuka quipped.

"Asuka, try to be optimistic." Rei said. "The Angels are gone, and things are becoming normal…"

"Oh, speaking of normal." Misato interjected. "Normal teenagers drive, right?"

"I thought you had to be 18 to drive in Japan?" Asuka asked.

"Well… only if you've never piloted an Evangelion before." Misato said. "So before I go out of my way… which of you wants to drive?"

"Absolutely not." Mari said emphatically. "I can barely get into a car without a panic attack. If I was behind the wheel of anything, I'd probably freeze…"

"Mari, you don't have to be afraid…" Misato said kindly.

"I said NO!" Mari said.

"Mari, calm down." Shinji said. "No one's making you drive."

"Fine, just don't ask me again." Mari said as she sat down grumpily in a chair.

"What about you, Asuka?" Misato asked.

"Of course I do!" Asuka said. "I've always wanted to drive!"

"I'd like to drive too." Shinji said. "That way I can go to the big supermarket and actually buy all the food we need."

"God, puppy, you're so practical." Mari joked.

"What, it's not like Misato's car can hold any food… and if I bought eggs and drive with her…" Shinji said.

"The eggs won't make it." Rei said.

"Hey!" Misato said. "I drive fine!"

"If you're avoiding artillery fire." Shinji said. "But you drive too recklessly, and I'd like to drive without seeing my life flash before my eyes."

"Fine… big meanie…" Misato muttered. "What about you, Rei?"

"I would rather wait." Rei said. "I don't feel ready for the responsibility yet… perhaps in a few years."

"Ok…" Misato mumbled. "So… let's see about getting you two licenses."

"Awesome!" Asuka said.

"When will we know?" Shinji asked.

"Give me a few days." Misato said.

* * *

April 2, 2017 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Shinji and Rei were watching TV together while Mari was napping and Asuka was playing Pokémon. She was on the floor holding her GameBoy above her head and could see Shinji and Rei sitting above her.

"Where's your GameBoy, baka?" Asuka asked.

"Our room." Shinji replied. "Why?"

"Play with me." Asuka said.

"Asuka, the last time we battled, you destroyed me." Shinji said. "Can't you just battle everyone in the game."

"Done that, baka." Asuka said. "I'll use my B–team if it helps."

"No thanks, Asuka." Shinji said. "Mari would put up a good fight though."

"Yeah, but she's napping…" Asuka whined. "What about you, wundergirl? Wanna battle?"

"Not right now, Asuka." Rei said. "Perhaps later."

"Gott, no one's any fun." Asuka muttered. "Fine, I'll go destroy the Elite Four for the millionth time… and then kick my rival's stupid ass!"

"Have fun Asuka." Shinji said as he heard footsteps from behind him. "Mari?"

"Wrong guess, kiddo." Misato said. "Wanna see what I got?"

"Big tits?" Asuka asked sarcastically. "Or is it booze?"

"Very funny Asuka…" Misato said. "So I guess you won't be wanting your license."

"What?!" Asuka shouted as she leapt up. "You got it?!"

"Well, a provisional license for Shinji." Misato said. "He's closer to his sixteenth birthday than you are, Asuka. Come October, you'll get yours."

"Aww, I have to wait?" Asuka asked. "Why?"

"Because you're not almost sixteen." Misato replied. "Something about starting driver training too early…"

"Damn it all…" Asuka muttered. "So, when does Shinji start driving then?"

"Well, as soon as he's sixteen, he can take the driver's exam." Misato replied.

"Lucky…" Asuka muttered.

"Asuka, you'll be ok." Shinji said. "It's just a few more months."

"But I wanted to learn to drive together!" Asuka said. "It would have been fun!"

"We can still learn together." Shinji said. "Can she come along when I start practicing?"

"I don't see why not." Misato said. "She can watch and learn, right?"

"Yeah, I can watch and learn, Misato." Asuka said. "How hard can it be?"

"Well, would you two like to go now then?" Misato asked.

"Yeah!" Shinji and Asuka said excitedly.

"Ok, then let's go." Misato said.

"May I come along as well?" Rei asked.

"Are you sure, Rei?" Misato asked.

"I believe it will be interesting tag along." Rei replied.

"Alright, let's go then." Misato said as she motioned them all to leave.

–––

Shinji was sitting in Misato's car. Misato was in the passenger seat next to him, and Asuka was in the back, behind Shinji, smirking from ear to ear with Rei sitting behind Misato.

"So, Shinji, turn on the car." Misato said.

"Aren't there other instructions before we go any farther?" Shinji asked. "Like adjusting mirrors or something?"

"Who uses mirrors?" Misato asked.

"Adjusting the seat?" Shinji asked.

"Whatever." Misato said as she rolled her eyes.

"What about buckling up?" Asuka asked.

"No thanks." Misato said.

"Yeah, and you wonder why we're afraid to drive with you." Asuka muttered.

"It is very concerning." Rei said.

"What?" Misato said. "It's how I drive!"

"Recklessly." Asuka said. "Baka, don't listen to her, you piloted an Evangelion, you can drive this little car."

"Little car?" Misato asked.

"Yeah, this car, it's little." Asuka said. "How else would you describe this thing?"

"A beautiful piece of French engineering." Misato said.

"More like death trap." Asuka mumbled.

"It certainly isn't as robust as an Evangelion." Rei added.

"So, are you going to keep making cute comments, or do you want to go back to the apartment?" Misato asked.

"Asuka, can you please be nice?" Shinji asked. "I want to start driving."

"I will baka." Asuka said. "You can do this."

"Ok, so Shinji, what are you doing?" Misato asked.

"Adjusting the mirrors, adjusting the seat, and buckling up." Shinji said. He turned on the car "You should do the same."

"Why?" Misato asked. "I don't like seatbelts."

"Misato, if we crash, you could get hurt." Shinji said.

"Yeah, but it hurts my chest." Misato said. "It like… itches."

"For fuck's sake, that's your problem with seatbelts?" Asuka asked. "Your tits are in the way?! Seriously?!"

"It does seem foolish…" Rei said. "Not wearing any restraints can hurt"

"Well, if you weren't flat chested, you'd understand!" Misato retorted.

"If she's flat chested, what does that make me?" Rei asked.

"Huh?" Misato asked as Asuka's face turned red.

"Excuse me?!" Asuka shouted back. "Flat chested?! Are you high, Misato?!"

"Enough you two!" Shinji said loudly. "Stop arguing already! I know families argue sometimes, but can you two just grow up!"

"Shinji… don't you…" Misato began.

"What, yell?!" Shinji asked. "Misato, you know as well as I do that Asuka is not flat chested and that she's self–conscious about it!" Shinji turned to Asuka. "And Asuka, we know Misato drives poorly, but stop poking fun at her, it's not very nice."

"Sorry, Shinji." Asuka said.

"I'm not apologizing, I'm the parent here." Misato said.

"Misato…" Shinji mumbled.

"Fine… sorry. Asuka, you're not flat chested…" Misato replied. "Now… you hit the brake…"

"Good, then let's go." Shinji interrupted as he depressed the brake and put the car in gear, hit the gas and pulled roughly out of the parking lot.

"Shinji, take it easy." Misato said as Shinji accelerated.

"What, I'm barely going 40k/h." Shinji said calmly.

"Yes, but… you're still new." Misato replied.

"But, Asuka's right, this isn't that hard compared to piloting the EVA." Shinji said as he looked over at Misato. "It doesn't require anywhere near the same amount of concentration."

"But you still need to keep your eyes on the road." Misato said fearfully.

"You mean the way you do while you're driving?" Shinji asked as he went towards the center of town.

"Ok, fine, don't take a cue from me." Misato said as she pointed forward. "Just look at the road."

"Now she gets it." Asuka quipped. "How's it feel?"

"This isn't how I drive." Misato said as Shinji changed lanes.

"No, Shinji's actually not driving erratically." Rei said. "He's staying in his lane."

"Yeah…" Misato asked as Shinji stopped at a red light.

"So, you don't stay in your lane." Asuka said. "He's almost like a natural."

"Yeah how are you this good at driving?" Misato asked.

"No idea." Shinji said as the light turned green. "It must be all the EVA training."

"How is that a transferrable skill?" Misato asked.

"Well, we have to concentrate and focus on piloting." Rei said. "And driving requires a lot of focus."

"Shinji, be honest, did you sneak out in my car?" Misato asked.

"No, I just read the driver training manual." Shinji said. "Asuka and I read it the other day. The rules are straightforward enough if you just look at them."

"That's it?" Misato asked. "Reading?"

"Maybe you should peruse it, Misato." Asuka said. "You might learn something."

"Like what?" Misato asked.

"Perhaps how to drive safely." Rei quipped.

"Shinji pull over." Misato said.

"Why?" Shinji asked. "I'm having fun."

"I'm not." Misato said. "You don't need much from me to learn how to drive. You should pass the test fine."

"Misato, are you upset or something?" Shinji asked. "I mean… I'd like some more lessons."

"Shinji… I'm not the best teacher for you." Misato said. "I want you to pass… and if I teach you, you'll fail."

"He'll pass if he does the exact opposite of what you do." Asuka said.

"Asuka, stop." Shinji said. "Misato, I do need practice, I can't take the test without it."

"Well… I guess I'll just sit in the car with you and let you drive around." Misato said. "Can't do much else."

"So… can I drive us home then?" Shinji asked.

"Yeah, go for it." Misato replied.

* * *

May 15, 2017 – Tokyo–3 Car Emporium

Mari said she had a surprise for Shinji and dragged him downtown, with Asuka and Rei tagging along out of curiosity. When they got to the car lot, there were all a bit unclear as to why Mari had brought Shinji there.

"So, what's the surprise?" Shinji asked.

"Puppy, are you really that dense?" Mari asked.

"We're all that dense." Asuka said. "Why did you drag us down here?"

"You didn't have to come." Mari said. "I only meant Shinji."

"We were curious about why you rushed Shinji out of the house." Rei said.

"Well, you're looking at it." Mari said.

"Did you buy the car lot?" Asuka asked.

"No." Mari said.

"But you hate cars." Shinji said.

"Yeah." Mari replied.

"The why bring us here?" Rei asked.

"Jesus… I'm buying Shinji a car." Mari said. "How did you not get that?"

"I would've gotten it eventually." Asuka said.

"How are you buying him a car?" Rei asked.

"With my money." Mari said.

"The money Misato specifically said was off limits." Asuka said.

"No, the money she said was not to waste on frivolous shit." Mari said. "And buying a car for my godson is the opposite of frivolous. And maybe I'll even buy one for you princess… when you turn sixteen."

"So… what does that mean?" Shinji asked.

"Any car you want within reason." Mari said.

"But there's so many to choose from." Shinji said.

"Well… pick something practical." Asuka said.

"Something you can carry the groceries in." Rei said.

"And cart us around in." Mari added. "Just a suggestion though."

"Would you actually get in a car?" Shinji asked.

"If you were driving, I'd consider it." Mari said. "But only with you driving."

"Why only him?" Asuka asked.

"I don't know, I've always felt safe with Shinji around." Mari said wistfully. "So uh… any car here, puppy, and you can drive it home."

"But I don't have a license yet." Shinji said.

"And we're not old enough to buy anything legally." Asuka said.

"I'm eighteen now, so I  _can_  buy a car." Mari said.

"Ok… so what should I get…" Shinji said as he looked around.

"Take your time." Mari said.

"Well… being practical, a sports car isn't going to help much, and neither is a small car." Shinji said.

"You mean a kei car?" Rei asked.

"Yeah, I won't have enough space for all the food we eat." Shinji said. "But I don't want anything too large either…"

"What about those?" Asuka said, pointing in the direction of some small SUVs. "They're not too big."

The group of them walked over and began looking around at the selection of cars. As they looked through the SUVs, Shinji was drawn to a striking blue one. He looked it over and saw that it wasn't overly large, or imposing. It wasn't Japanese, and from the emblem, it looked American. "This is nice." Shinji muttered as he looked at the front end of the car. "It looks… happy."

"Shinji, look at this one, it's a VW!" Asuka said excitedly. She didn't hear him respond and saw him looking at his own choice. "Baka, why aren't you listening to me!"

"I think he found his own." Rei said. "It's a nice color."

Asuka looked at it and sighed. "But it's American…"

"So?" Mari asked.

"This is German engineering." Asuka said pointing to the VW Tiguan. "It'll run better."

"Yeah, but I bet that gas mileage is bullshit." Mari said. "I mean, they lied about the emissions…" Asuka grumbled silently as Mari walked over to Shinji. "So, find something you like?"

"Yeah, this one." Shinji said proudly. "It looks nice, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it looks nice, but are sure it'll fit everything?" Mari asked.

"It should." Shinji said. "But there's room for four."

"Are you sure you want this one?" Mari asked. "I don't want you complaining of buyer's remorse in a few weeks."

"Maybe a test drive is in order?" Shinji asked.

"Now you're talking." Mari said.

"Baka… why this one?" Asuka asked. "It's not German…"

"Asuka, it looks like a nice car." Shinji said.

"Besides, he can get inside a German anytime he wants." Mari quipped.

"I'm ignoring that only so you'll buy me a car later…" Asuka grumbled.

"Does that mean you won't be arguing for a few months?" Rei asked innocently.

"I think it does." Mari said gleefully. "I really think it does."

"Mari, don't hold it over her head." Shinji said. "It's not nice."

"But puppy… I'm buying you a car." Mari said. "Unless you'd rather…"

"This is what I mean, Mari." Shinji said. "You're going to abuse it and Asuka's gonna end up hitting you."

"What me?" Mari asked mockingly. "I would never." Mari saw Shinji give her a disapproving look. "Ok, fine, I won't abuse it."

"Thank you." Shinji said.

"So… who do we have to talk to about a test drive of this thing?" Mari asked.

"What is it though?" Rei asked.

"A Ford something…" Asuka said pointing at the emblem on the grill.

"It's a Ford Kuga." Shinji said.

"Interesting name…" Rei said. "What does it mean?"

"No idea." Shinji said as Mari walked over to a salesman. "Looks like Mari found someone to talk to though."

"So, you're really gonna buy this one?" Asuka asked.

"If it drives well." Shinji said.

"But why?" Asuka asked.

"I don't know, it just feels right." Shinji said. "I can't explain it."

"Fine, but if I get a car, I'm buying something fast." Asuka said.

"What happened to practical?" Shinji asked.

"You're the practical one, baka." Asuka said. "I'm the one who likes to live dangerously." Asuka smirked. "Besides, a fast car would probably feel right."

June 30, 2017 – Atsugi, Japan

Shinji and Asuka had just gotten off a train. After receiving a call the previous day from his previous guardian, Jushiro Kyoraku about picking some things up from the house that were still stored there. Shinji agreed to drive down, but Jushiro gently reminded him about the other thing he had to pick up, and Shinji agreed to take it as well. Asuka and Rei offered to help him, but Shinji said he'd only be able to drive one other person back. Rei was confused by Shinji's comment considering his Kuga could carry many people, but capitulated and Asuka was excited to meet Shinji's old guardian.

As Shinji and Asuka walked away from the train station, Shinji flashed back to when Kaji pushed him onto a train headed back to Tokyo–3, the last time Shinji saw Kaji alive.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Asuka asked. "Stop looking so upset. I thought you were happy to come down here again."

"I was…" Shinji said. "I just remembered the last time I was down here was the time I saw him…"

"Him?" Asuka asked.

"Kaji." Shinji said. "He shoved me on a train and that's the last time I saw him."

"Well… don't think about that now." Asuka said. "But I still don't understand why you didn't just drive us down here… you have a car  _and_  a license."

"You'll understand soon enough." Shinji said.

"I don't like when you keep secrets from me baka." Asuka said.

"Asuka, it's not like that." Shinji said. "Come on… there isn't that much stuff I left behind. We'll probably be able to take most of it with us."

"But how, on the train?" Asuka asked.

"Not… not exactly." Shinji said.

"Fine, don't tell me." Asuka said as they continued walking.

As they walked, Shinji kept looking around, remembering why he was so happy to leave this place, as peaceful as it was, all he could remember was the bullying and his loneliness.

"Hey, when I said don't tell me, that didn't mean don't talk to me." Asuka said.

"Sorry, just thinking." Shinji replied.

"About?" Asuka asked.

"The past." Shinji replied simply.

"Ah… that's specific." Asuka said.

"What?" Shinji asked.

"Oh nothing, you just avoiding telling me anything today even though I'm here to help you and all that." Asuka quipped. "Aren't you supposed to tell me everything?"

"Asuka, it's just difficult to talk about." Shinji said.

"You're not the only one who had a difficult childhood." Asuka said.

"I know, but you don't really talk about your childhood all that much either." Shinji replied.

"I… I hate when you do that." Asuka muttered.

"What?" Shinji asked.

"Catch me off guard and prove your point." Asuka said. "That's not how relationships work… the girl is always right!"

"What about in a relationship with two girls?" Shinji said sarcastically. "They can't both be right… and a relationship with two guys… they can't both be wrong."

"Huh… I guess… whoever the… gottverdammt!" Asuka shouted. "You get what I mean!"

"No, but you look so cute when you get angry." Shinji said sweetly.

"Kiss ass." Asuka said, giving Shinji a peck on the cheek. "Stop flattering me."

"But it always works." Shinji said.

"Yeah… cause I like being told I'm pretty." Asuka joked. "So… are we there yet? Cause I'm tired of walking."

"Almost." Shinji said. "Just a few more blocks."

"I didn't think this town was so big." Asuka said.

"It doesn't seem big." Shinji said. "But it has a sizeable population."

"Surprising." Asuka said. "This seems like a nice place to live though."

"It looks nice… but the people aren't." Shinji said. "They never had anything nice to say."

"How would you even know that?" Asuka asked.

"I heard them whispering whenever I walked around town." Shinji said. "They didn't even try to hide it… this was not a happy place for me."

"Hey, don't think about it so much." Asuka said. "Now they can all whisper about your super sexy exotic girlfriend."

"Yeah… things are certainly looking up." Shinji said as he wrapped his arm around Asuka. "Oh, we're here…"

"This is it?" Asuka asked. "It's nice."

"Yeah, it was a nice place." Shinji said. "Sensei is a good man."

"I can't wait to meet him." Asuka said as the pair of them approached the front door. Shinji reached out and ran the doorbell nervously. "Hey, don't be so nervous." Asuka said kindly.

"I'm not." Shinji said as Jushiro answered the door.

"Shinji, oh it's wonderful to see you!" Jushiro said brightly. "Come in, please, come in!"

Shinji and Asuka followed Jushiro inside and sat down in the living room where Jushiro sat down across from them. As they sat down, Jushiro was smiling broadly.

"Ah, it's so nice of you to come down on such short notice." Jushiro said.

"Well, you said it was urgent." Shinji said.

"That it is, Shinji that it is." Jushiro said as he looked up and realized Asuka was there as well. "Oh… where are my manners. I'm Jushiro Kyoraku." Jushiro said. "And you must be Miss Soryu."

"That would be correct." Asuka replied. "How do you know about me though?"

"Shinji mentioned something the last time he was here with that nice man, Mr. Kaji." Jushiro said kindly. "Such a nice man."

"Yeah, he was." Asuka said sullenly.

"Did something happen?" Jushiro asked.

"He's… he died." Shinji said. "It's still rather fresh in our memory."

"Oh, such a shame." Jushiro said. "I'm so very sorry."

"Things happen." Asuka said.

"So, sensei, why did you call me down here?" Shinji asked.

"Ah… yes." Jushiro said. "Still straight to the point." Jushiro leaned back in his chair. "After the recent revelations about NERV and my former colleague, Professor Fuyutsuki, I see the need to move somewhere… less familiar."

"Why is that?" Asuka asked.

"Well… the people in this town are eternal gossips." Jushiro said. "And many days, simply going out to the store elicits a stream of whispers I haven't heard since Shinji moved to town. Now that Shinji and my former work life have been linked, for my own health and sanity, I wish to move somewhere else… perhaps to a smaller, more out of the way town in the mountains."

"Oh…" Shinji said. "I'm sorry, sensei…"

"Don't apologize my dear boy." Jushiro said. "This isn't your fault no more is it Kozo's fault… these things happen."

"Not generally." Asuka said. "These things only happen around NERV."

"Well, I do have one question…" Jushiro said. "Is everything that Fuyutsuki said true?"

Shinji paused for a moment before answering. "Yes." Shinji said simply. "My father is a war criminal."

"Ah… such a shame." Jushiro said. "Fuyutsuki should've known better… but he did love your mother very much."

"He… he did?" Shinji asked.

"Oh yes, she was a wonderful person." Jushiro said. "She was the Madonna of the campus…" Jushiro trailed off. "Anyway… if you could go through your things and decide what to do with them, I'd be very appreciative."

"I scheduled a moving truck for this afternoon." Shinji said. "I just have to call and they'll ship anything I want back home."

"Oh, that's very smart thinking, Shinji." Jushiro said. "So, how about a little tea and catching up before you begin?"

"Sure, sensei." Shinji said.

"Thank you very much." Asuka replied.

–––

After a short catching up with Jushiro on some of things that had been happening, and several hours of going through his old room, the room he'd essentially grown up, Shinji and Asuka had gone through all of Shinji's remaining possessions and packed them up neatly in boxes ready to be taken by the movers. There was one box of more sentimental items that Shinji refused to part with and would take back with them to Tokyo–3. As the movers got there and took everything away, Shinji and Asuka were doing one last look through of his old room to make sure they had taken everything.

"So, that's everything?" Asuka asked.

"Looks like it." Shinji said as he looked around at his old, now completely empty room. "Everything but one thing."

"What's left, a kitchen sink?" Asuka asked. "The room doesn't even have any dust in it!"

"I'll show you in a minute." Shinji said. "But first, let's say goodbye."

"Well… yeah, if that's everything." Asuka said. "So, am I carrying the one box?"

"If you don't mind." Shinji said.

"Lazy ass… making the girl carry the box." Asuka joked.

"You wanted to help." Shinji quipped back.

"You got me there, baka." Asuka said as she picked up the box and followed Shinji to the kitchen. Asuka set the box on the table and they saw Jushiro making more tea.

"Ah… I thought you might like something before you got going." Jushiro said.

After a quick and silent drink of tea, Shinji set his cup down and smiled. "Thank you, sensei." Shinji said. "And thank you for everything."

"Like I've said before Shinji, you don't need to thank me." Jushiro said as he put a set of keys on the table. "And these are for you… that way you can get home."

"Thank you sensei." Shinji said as he took the keys and the box off the table.

Asuka's eyes went wide. "Those… those keys. I know those keys…"

"Well, I'll leave you to it, Shinji." Jushiro said. "It was nice to meet you, Asuka."

"Nice meeting you too." Asuka said as she followed Shinji towards the garage. When they got inside, Shinji found the light and Asuka gasped.

"This car?" Asuka asked. "Why is it here? Shinji… why is it here?!"

"Asuka, relax, ok?" Shinji said. "Don't get upset."

"But it's his car… its Kaji's car!" Asuka said excitedly. "Why is it here, Shinji?!"

"He wanted it stored in a safe place." Shinji said. "He wanted me… he wanted us to have it… in case he never came back."

"But… it's his car." Asuka said. "He… I can't believe…"

"Do you need a minute?" Shinji asked.

"No… I just didn't expect this." Asuka replied.

"I didn't know how to tell you." Shinji said. "That's why I didn't say anything."

"I get it." Asuka said. "You didn't want to upset me… thank you."

"You're welcome." Shinji said as he unlocked the car.

"So… can you drive a manual?" Asuka asked.

"Misato short of explained how." Shinji said as he opened the bonnet and put the box away. "I should be able to handle it."

"It's so weird…" Asuka said. "I never thought I'd see this again… it still looks wonderful." Asuka sighed. "But Shinji… I know why you didn't tell me, you didn't want me to cry… but why didn't Kaji tell me?"

Shinji paused, thinking carefully what to say. "He didn't want to upset you, that's all." Shinji said as he walked over to her. "He cared about you a lot… he wanted me to fix things with you. He wanted us to be happy… he didn't want us to waste time like he and Misato did."

"Well… I'm glad you listened to him." Asuka said. "Otherwise we'd still hate each other."

"I don't think so." Shinji said. "We would have worked things out eventually."

"Do you really think so?" Asuka said.

"Well, we found each other after such a long time." Shinji said. "I don't want to say that we're meant for each other… but I do love you."

"I love you too baka…" Asuka said. "And stop being so corny… it's annoying."

"I can't." Shinji joked. "My love for you makes me super corny."

"I really meant stop." Asuka said. "It's only cute when we're having sex."

"Fair enough." Shinji said as he got in the car. "So, are you getting in?"

"Yeah." Asuka said as Shinji started the car and opened the garage door. "After you get out of the garage." Shinji eased the car into reverse, and got the car into the street. Asuka shut the door behind them and got in next to him. "Let's drive."

Shinji had some difficulty shifting into first gear, but drove off slowly, and had some difficulty getting into second gear, grinding the gears a bit as he went.

"So, you were saying about how you'd be able to get the hang of it?" Asuka asked over the sound of the transmission grinding.

"I will…" Shinji muttered as she got the car into third gear. "Just give me some time, ok?"

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly two months after the conclusion of Episode VI, and three years before Episode VII's opening chapter.

So, this one shot is meant to tie up some loose ends regarding the ending of Episode VI, and to fill some of that three year time gap between Episodes VI and VII. The kids being adopted by Misato, how they ended up moving into a larger apartment, and how Shinji retrieved Kaji's Ferrari. A few other things, such as answering whether the kids got paid, and what car Shinji would get for himself, and Rei's own journey into being human and starting to leave the past behind.

As for choosing the Ford Kuga, I chose it for personal reasons, and because it looks like the kind of car Shinji would drive. And while I do realize that in japan, people can't drive till they're 18, these kids did pilot Evangelions, so if an exception were to be made, it should be with them. However, laws may have changed in a post–apocalyptic Japan, where those who are younger would be allowed to drive.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	7. Trick or Treat

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Trick or Treat

* * *

October 14, 2017 – Tokyo–3 Junior High School, Class 3–A

Ever since class reconvened after lunch, they had been taking a comprehensive exam, which was stressing some of them out. Toji and Kensuke were having trouble because they had neglected to study beforehand, while Hikari was simply stressing too much about her grade affecting what school she could get into, and Shinji kept second–guessing every answer he put down. Asuka, Mari, and Rei however finished a few minutes early and tried to help their struggling friends without attracting the teacher's attention. Because Asuka sat next to Shinji, it was easy for her to help him out.

"Shinji…" Asuka whispered. "What question are you on?"

"189." Shinji replied quietly.

"Seriously?" Asuka asked quietly. "You should be able to ace this."

"I keep thinking what I'm putting down is wrong." Shinji said sullenly.

"Listen, can you remember the last sequence of answers if I tell them to you?" Asuka asked.

"Yes." Shinji replied.

"A… B… B… C… E… B… A… D… A… D… E…" Asuka muttered.

"Thank you." Shinji whispered back as he hurriedly filled in the answer bubbles.

"That is time everyone." The teacher said. "Pencils down, hand your papers forward."

There was an audible groan from a large portion of the class as they had to stop, and the rustling of paper as the tests were passed forward.

"I shall post your grades by the end of the week." The teacher said as he went back to his podium. "Ah, yes, I have one announcement before the end of the day. There is to be a costume contest on Halloween for individual and group costumes, all students are welcome to participate." The teacher said. "Anyone wishing enter, please head down to the student council room to sign up, they can give you more details on the prizes."

**_♪Ding dong ding ding… ding dong ding ding♪_ **

"Ah, that's our cue to leave." The teacher said. "Class is dismissed."

As the bell run, Hikari, in her usual authoritative tone rose to direct the class. "Rise… Bow… Sit!" Hikari commanded as the teacher left the room.

As the teacher left, the room was abuzz with talk about entering the contest, and about how everyone had done on the test, with Asuka and Mari both excited at the prospect of winning something.

"I wonder what the prize is!" Asuka said excitedly.

"Lots of money!" Mari said happily. "Or free food!"

"Hey, Toji, how did you do on the test?" Shinji said, ignoring Asuka and Mari's fervent conversation about the costume contest.

"I did shitty, man." Toji said. "I totally should've fucking studied…"

"And why didn't you?" Hikari asked pointedly.

"I was uh… playing videogames with Kensuke last night at my place." Toji replied nervously.

"That seems like a colossal waste of time considering the stakes…" Rei said.

"It's not a waste of time!" Toji replied. "It was quality bro time with Kensuke!"

"Toji, you do realize that your future in senior high school depends on getting a good grade, right?" Hikari asked angrily. "Did you even finish the test?"

"I sorta flubbed it at the end a bit." Toji said. "Just closed my eyes and guessed."

"Toji!" Hikari scolded. "You have to apply yourself, I know you're not dumb!"

"Sorry, babe." Toji said. "I'm just so damn tired of tests… its fucking endless."

"I am too, and don't even think I did that great either…" Hikari said sullenly. "But at least I studied…"

"Hey, I study when I want to." Toji retorted.

"You never want to though…" Hikari shot back.

"Guys, are you even listening to us?!" Mari asked angrily. "Don't you want to find out about the prize?!"

"The prize for what?" Hikari asked.

"I don't think they were listening, four eyes." Asuka deadpanned.

"Why not?!" Mari said. "There's a prize involved!"

"You are over focused on the prize." Rei said sternly.

"We could share it you know." Asuka replied.

"If we win." Toji said. "But I doubt we'll get good costumes."

"We have to think of an idea, ya stooge." Mari said. "Jeez, no one's getting it."

"Let's just go sign up." Asuka said.

"Please don't." Rei said. "I do not wish to dress up."

"Rei, we can't wait forever." Asuka said. "We should sign up early."

"Why?" Rei asked. "It seems futile to try."

"Because it'll be fun!" Mari said excitedly.

"It doesn't sound very fun." Toji said.

"We don't even know what the prize is you two." Hikari said.

"Well, let's go find out or whatever!" Mari said.

"Why?" Rei asked.

"Because Halloween is fun." Asuka said.

"Dressing up like someone else is fun?" Rei asked. "I thought it was unwise to do this…"

"It is fun!" Asuka said aggravatedly. "Come on, this is the first Halloween we've had together where some stupid Angel or Gundam isn't going to fuck it all to hell!"

"Really?" Shinji asked. "It can't have been…"

"No, it was." Asuka said. "Twice in a row. I am not missing a third fucking Halloween!"

"Asuka, please don't yell." Hikari said. "It just seems silly with our future of being in the same class in senior high school at stake, that we'd put time and effort into something… like that…"

"They seriously don't get it…" Asuka said disappointedly.

"Nope, princess, they don't…" Mari said. "Let's just leave them here to do whatever they want."

"Asuka, wait." Shinji said.

"What, baka?" Asuka asked. "Unless you're changing your mind, don't talk to me. Mari and I will just do it alone and look stupid without the rest of our friends to help…"

"Asuka, why do you really want to do this?" Shinji asked. "It can't just be for the prize."

"It's not." Asuka replied. "It's been less than a year since everything happened. We've been free from having to fight for our lives and everyone else's, and this is the real chance we've had to do something fun just because we can." Asuka shuttered. "It's about being free from the constant threat of death that piloting had with it… and you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Yeah, we all… yeah…" Toji mumbled.

"I remember." Hikari said.

"I was there." Shinji said.

"So, are you gonna help us, or are you going to make princess cry?" Mari asked.

"I uh…" Shinji mumbled.

"We'll do it." Hikari said. "Right?"

"Talk about being pressured into something." Toji muttered. "But yeah, I'm in too."

"I don't see why not." Kensuke said.

"Yeah." Shinji replied.

"Seeing as everyone else is…" Rei mumbled.

"Yay!" Mari said exuberantly.

"Relax, four eyes." Asuka quipped. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"Sorry I said it was dumb…" Hikari said.

"It's ok." Asuka said. "Besides that boring ass trip we took to Tokyo–2 a few months ago, we haven't done anything worthwhile."

"Yeah, you disappeared for a while on that trip puppy…" Mari said. "How much did you spend on hookers and blow?"

"I… what?" Shinji replied nervously. "I just got… kinda lost."

"Figures, we leave you alone for a few minutes and you go and get yourself lost." Mari joked.

"Stop making fun of onii–chan…" Rei said as she glared at Mari.

"Will you ever let that go?" Shinji asked as Mari fell silent.

"Probably not." Asuka said. "You always get so flustered when we bring it up."

"I do not." Shinji said. "I just don't like you bringing it up all the time."

"Yeah sure." Asuka joked. "Tell that to your beet red face."

"Hey, why don't we find out about the contest and figure out what we're doing?" Mari asked. "Ya know, before the student council office closes?"

"Fine, let's go." Asuka said as she and everyone else packed their school things away.

A few minutes later, in the student council room, the kids were in line to sign up for the costume contest. There were only a few people ahead of them, but that just made Mari all the more anxious.

"Hurry up…" Mari muttered. "I wanna sign up for this already!"

"Oh relax and be patient like the rest of us." Asuka snapped. "We have to wait our turn. Considering you're an adult, you should understand that."

"Hey, don't preach to me about patience, princess." Mari retorted. "I recall that you get violently angry when  _you_  have to wait too long."

"We're not talking about me, four eyes." Asuka said.

"Ok, stop it you two." Shinji said sternly. "Otherwise I'm not doing this."

"Yeah, just get along and stop bickering with each other." Hikari added. "You're both being extremely childish."

"We are not being childish." Asuka said defensively.

"This is just how we are with each other!" Mari added. "It's our thing!"

"Ok, fine." Rei said. "It appears we're next, so it won't be much longer anyway."

"Really?!" Mari said excitedly as she turned around and there was no one left in front of them. "Yay!"

"And she's acting ridiculous on the other end of the scale." Asuka muttered.

"Hello." The student body vice president saifd. "Are you here about the costume contest?"

"Yes!" Mari said happily. "I'd like to sign me and my friends up!"

"Well, you don't have to sign anyone up specifically." The vice president said. "The contest is open to all students and your respective families, so they can participate with you if you'd like."

"Seriously?" Asuka asked. "That seems…"

"Like that shouldn't be a thing." Shinji finished.

"Well, the idea was to bring the whole community together in some sort of event following the constant state of panic from the past few years." The vice president replied.

"Yeah, no kidding…" Asuka replied nervously.

"So, is there a prize for winning?" Mari asked bluntly.

"Well, yes." The vice president replied. "It's a ¥250,000 Visa gift card from the event's sponsor."

"So, how do we sign up?" Mari asked.

"Just sign this, and I'll give you the registration pass." The vice president said as Mari blindly signed the form and handed it back, and was given a registration pass. "Your group is entrant number 15."

"Hang on, you said some one sponsored the event?" Hikari asked.

"Yes, NERV donated the gift card as the prize." The vice president said. "I talked to a Colonel something or other, and she said she'd be happy to sponsor the event."

"Huh, that's cool." Mari said.

"Just don't lose the pass, otherwise you can't compete." The vice president said. "Have a nice day, and enjoy the competition."

As the kids left, they all smirked to each other.

"I can't believe she did that…" Asuka muttered.

"I know, where did she find the money for a gift card?" Shinji asked.

"Who cares how she did." Mari said. "Let's just go thank her and try to  _win_  it!"

"Yeah, I guess we need to decide what we're dressing up as." Shinji said.

"Well, we just need to find something everything can enjoy." Hikari said.

"Or better yet, awesome costumes no one can compete against!" Asuka said proudly.

"Looks like we've got our work cut out for us…" Kensuke muttered.

* * *

October 22, 2017 – Comfort 17 Apartments

It had been over a week since they found out about the competition. In that time the group had yet to decide on their group costume because there were too many opinions, and even more choices. The kids decided to meet one more time to try and figure things out so they could at least complete when Halloween rolled around.

"Does it have to be anime related?" Toji asked. "I mean, there is other stuff besides anime characters to dress up as…"

"Anime is life, stooge." Mari retorted.

"Fine, can it just not be mech related?" Toji asked. "I think there've been enough of those in our lives."

"But mech anime is so awesome!" Mari said.

"Give it a rest, four eyes." Asuka said. "You're making this unproductive again."

"It's not just me you know!" Mari said. "That one hates every idea!"

"It's called constructive criticism!" Hikari argued.

"No, I just don't want one of her crazy ideas!" Toji replied.

"Toji, you're not helping!" Hikari snapped.

"What'd I say?" Toji asked.

"Guys, we're not getting anywhere." Shinji said. "Come on, we have to focus."

"Why, it's not like we can agree on anything." Toji said. "Their ideas are insane!"

"You're not offering any suggestions yourself, pal!" Asuka shot back. "Maybe suggest something instead of shitting on our ideas, and maybe we'll get somewhere!"

"Then you'll just shit on my ideas!" Toji retorted.

"Shinji's right." Sakura said. "It's just a costume contest, it's not rocket science. We should be having fun, not going at each other's throats."

"Man, sis you almost sound mature…" Toji said. "What's gotten into you lately?"

"Just growing up, bro." Sakura said.

"So, the costumes…" Kensuke said nervously. "Toji doesn't want anything mech related, right?"

"Yeah we've established that." Asuka said.

"Well, what don't you guys want?" Shinji asked.

"We just want to dress as anime characters." Asuka said.

"Yeah, no dumb, overblown superheroes or anything like that." Mari added. "Plus, it's been done before. Hell, it's been overdone…"

"And anime hasn't?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah, but anime is more fun." Mari replied. "Plus skimpy costumes."

"I don't want my sister in no skimpy outfits!" Toji said angrily.

"I'm not a baby anymore, bro, I have my period and everything now." Sakura said sarcastically with a broad grin on her face.

"GROSS!" Toji shouted. "I don't want to hear this!"

"You are such a child, Toji." Sakura said. "It's a natural part of…" Toji stuck his fingers in his ears and began humming loudly. "Yeah a total fucking child…."

"Can we stay on topic?" Rei asked. "This is why we are no closer to deciding what our group costume will be… and I'm starting to view this as more arduous than enjoyable…"

"Yeah, its been like this every time we meet." Shinji said.

"We should be able to do better." Hikari said as she pointed at Toji. "You need to stop being so obstinate." Hikari pointed at Asuka and Mari. "And you two need to realize that this process is not just about what the two of you want."

"It was our idea though." Mari said obstinately.

"For all of us to participate in and enjoy." Hikari said sternly. "So get your shit together so we can have fun."

"Is something wrong, Hikari?" Asuka asked. "You're acting less composed than usual."

"Yeah freckles, you're being kinda mean…" Mari added.

"I'm not being mean, I'm being direct!" Hikari snapped. "I'm kinda starting to get Rei's point, you guys have argued about everything and still can't figure anything out! This isn't very fun at all!"

"Oh…" Mari muttered. "But…"

"No buts!" Hikari said. "We're figuring out our costumes today!"

"Ok…" Asuka said. "No need to be so hostile…"

"It's the only way to get through to you!" Hikari retorted. "So, Power Rangers is out?"

"Which season?"

"There's mechs involved, so yeah, I don't want it." Toji said.

"Plus that spandex stuff." Kensuke added.

"What about Rugrats?" Hikari asked.

"That's a kid show." Mari said.

"Fine." Hikari said exasperatedly. "Smurfs?"

"I don't want to paint my face." Asuka said.

"This is impossible…" Hikari muttered as she shook her head. "Comic book stuff is out, right?"

"Yep." Toji said. "Screw Marvel and DC, they do enough already."

"We've got like no options." Hikari said.

"Well, we can still do an anime." Shinji said.

"No mechs though." Toji said.

"And there need to be enough characters for us to dress up as." Kensuke added.

"That doesn't leave us with many options." Hikari replied.

"Well, anime with a large cast… Naruto?" Shinji asked.

"Ninjas suck." Mari said.

"For once we both agree on something." Toji said.

"What about Dragon Ball?" Shinji asked.

"I don't want to wear a foam wig." Mari complained.

"And orange is not my color." Asuka said.

"Who says you get to be Goku?" Toji asked.

"Who else would be?" Asuka asked.

"You're more like Vegeta with that ego and temper princess of all Saiyans." Mari quipped.

"Bite me." Asuka snapped.

"How about One Piece?" Kensuke asked.

"If I wanna play pirate, I'll play Assassin's Creed." Asuka said.

"Yeah, that's a horrible idea, Kensuke." Shinji added.

"Dude, no." Toji said.

"I can't even defend that show…" Hikari said.

"Well what about…" Kensuke began.

"Sailor Moon?" Sakura finished hopefully.

"As much as I love the show sis, I ain't wearing no skirt." Toji said.

"Yeah, I like pants." Shinji replied.

"I wouldn't mind so much." Kensuke said.

"What about Bleach?" Rei suggested.

"What?" Toji asked.

"The series Bleach." Rei said. "There are an abundance of characters, there are no mechs, and no one has to wear a skirt."

"That… that could work…" Asuka said.

"Yeah, it could." Mari said.

"Swords are cool…" Toji muttered.

"Ninjas have swords, Toji." Hikari rebutted.

"Yeah, but Naruto sucks!" Toji retorted.

"Yeah, it does." Mari added.

"Rei, why didn't you say anything before?" Shinji asked.

"I did onii–chan." Rei said. "But no one could hear me over the arguing."

"Well, speak up next time wundergirl." Asuka said. "We could have figured all this shit out so much sooner."

"I will try that next time." Rei replied.

"Well, we still have to decide on the characters we want to do…" Hikari said.

"Why don't we do that right now…" Mari said happily.

* * *

October 31, 2017 – Comfort 17 Apartments

After a short debate, the kids easily decided who was going to cosplay who, which considering how long it took them to choose  _what_  to cosplay may as well have been a miracle. So, with just a week left to prep before they had to go and compete, it took up until the last moment for them to pull their costumes together so they looked convincing. They had decided to meet up at the apartment to change, an as the kids finished changing, they met up outside the apartment to take a van that Misato had rented for them to use, they all looked over each other's costumes before they left. Shinji was dressed as Ichigo, Rei was dressed as Hollow Ichigo, Asuka was dressed as Byakuya, Mari was dressed as Renji, Toji was dressed as Chad, Kensuke was dressed as Uryū, Sakura was dressed as Rukia, and Hikari was dressed as Orihime. Sakura and Kensuke were the last ones downstairs after everyone else had finished changing.

"It's about time you two." Asuka said.

"What, he needed help getting in this getup." Sakura said.

"Yeah, this thing isn't as loose as all the stuff you guys get to wear." Kensuke moaned.

"You look nice though." Sakura said kindly.

"Thanks." Kensuke replied.

"Yeah, looks cool." Mari said.

"I still don't get why Shinji gets to be Ichigo though…" Toji said bitterly.

"Because he and Rei look enough alike that she can play a convincing Hollow Ichigo." Hikari said. "Besides, you make a good Chad."

"I know, but I wanted a sword…" Toji said as he waived his armored arm.

"Oh relax, stooge." Mari said. "We all chose what we wanted."

"But Shinji's not protagonist material!" Toji reported. "No offence pal."

"None taken." Shinji replied.

"Hey, he'd make a decent protagonist." Sakura retorted. "Albeit a bit boring…"

"Can we talk about something else?" Shinji asked. "I mean, I can hear you guys talking."

"Sure puppy." Mari said. "We can talk about whatever you'd like…"

"Shouldn't we get going?" Kensuke asked.

"No, we got a minute." Mari replied.

"Well, you look cute as guys." Hikari said pointing to Asuka and Mari.

"Eh, it's ok." Asuka said. "Besides, we don't have to play this as guys ya know."

"Speak for yourself, princess." Mari joked. "I make a fucking hot guy."

"Yeah you do." Sakura joked.

"Sis, come on, you're killing me." Toji said.

"Oh give it a rest, bro." Sakura quipped. "You have to stop overreacting about my love life."

"You're not supposed to have a love life!" Toji retorted.

"Ok, we're not having this conversation now." Hikari said aggravatedly. "Can we just go now? We don't want to be late."

"Do you have the slip Mari?" Shinji asked.

Mari rummaged around in her bra and pulled out a slip of paper. "Right here, puppy." Mari replied as she showed it to him and slid it back between her tits.

"Ok, let's go." Shinji said as they piled into the van.

–––

As they walked inside the school, the kids sized up the competition from the other groups. As they looked around, they saw a lot of repetitive groups of costumes, and some that looked thrown together.

"See, what did I say about superheroes?" Mari asked.

"We know already." Hikari said. "We can see…"

"Two sets of Avengers, three sets of the Justice League" Mari said. "Hell, there's even a set of Teen Titans!"

"At least they got Starfire a decent wig." Kensuke muttered.

"Still, it's kinda repetitive." Mari complained. "Almost too repetitive…"

"Better than the lame ass Fanta Girls costumes." Hikari said.

"Ugh… Sword Art Online…" Asuka muttered. "Skimpy costumes to get more votes."

"Asuka, that's a horrible thing to say!" Shinji said.

"It's true though." Asuka retorted. "Don't try and deny it."

"Even if it is…" Shinji replied. "You still shouldn't say it  _out loud_."

"Oh, whatever baka." Asuka quipped.

" _The judging will begin in five minutes._ " Someone announced over the PA.

"Awesome." Mari said.

"So, are ready for this?" Shinji asked.

"Well, we bought real swords…" Kensuke said.

"Because authenticity sells the costumes more, ya stooge." Mari quipped.

"And it's not like they're sharp or anything." Asuka added. "It's a blunt edge."

"And that makes it safe?" Hikari asked.

"Hikari, you have two hair clips, why are you worried about the swords exactly?" Asuka asked. "Ad yes, it does make it… safe… er. Safer."

"I think its cool!" Sakura said as she pulled out her own sword.

"Yeah, all I got is this lame arm." Toji grumbled.

"And all those muscles…" Hikari said as she fawned all over him.

"Why don't you two get a room?" Sakura said. "After we win."

"That's the spirit!" Mari said.

" _All groups, please come the main stage in the courtyard, and have your registration pass ready._ " Someone announced over the PA.

"Time to go!" Mari said excitedly as they all went towards the brightly lit stage.

"Rei, you're being awful quiet." Shinji said as they walked towards the stage.

"Sorry onii–chan." Rei said. "Don't worry, I am enjoying myself."

"Are you sure?" Shinji asked. "You're not smiling or anything."

"You know I have difficulty expressing my emotions." Rei replied.

"I know, but you're frowning." Shinji said.

"Oh, my back is starting to hurt carrying this sword." Rei replied. "I still have not fully recovered from my rebirth…"

"Oh." Shinji said. "Well, if you want me to carry it…"

"I appreciate the offer, onii––chan, but I can shoulder the burden." Rei replied.

"Welcome to the Tokyo–3 First Municipal Junior High School Halloween costume contest!" The student body vice president said. "We've got 22 registered teams here tonight, and we'll be using the crowd's reaction to award the winners, who will receive a ¥250,000 Visa gift card from the event's sponsor, NERV!" The crowd applauded. "Now, if all the groups registered would get in line, you'll walk across the stage and judge the crowd's reactions to your costumes!"

As the fifteenth group in line, they watched as the other groups, dressed up as various superheroes and anime and video game characters marched across stage to some lackluster applause. As Mari had pointed out, there were a lot of repeat costumes, so there wasn't anything of interest to look at, so the crowd reacted poorly. By the time they got on stage, the crowd had become board, but perked up at the sight of a different set of costumes, and they got a noticeably louder applause than the groups preceding and following them after they struck their pose.

When the last group finished walking across the stage, the vice present came back on with a microphone. "Well, I believe the audience has spoken." The vice president said. "Group 15, Mari Makinami and friends, congratulations." The vice president beckoned them on stage and presented Mari with the gift card. "Very well done."

"Thank you very much!" Mari said happily. "I'm just glad my friends deiced to join in!"

"Well, it was a very well thought out idea." The vice president said. "Now, don't spend this all in one place."

"Oh, we won't." Mari replied as they walked off stage.

"Damn, I can't believe we won." Toji said.

"I know, I thought these SAO girls would win."

"Which group of them?" Asuka asked.

"The ones with the nicer costumes, obviously." Toji retorted.

"Why were there so many superheroes though?" Shinji asked.

"Market oversaturation." Kensuke quipped.

"So now what do we do?" Sakura asked.

"Well, it's still early." Mari said. "Why don't we go out and get some candy?"

"Seriously?" Toji said. "Can't we just go home and change?"

"We're all dressed up, ya stooge." Mari replied. "Why let it go to waste."

–––

After several hours of wandering around the city knocking on doors and getting as much candy as they could carry, they all returned to the apartment. After they hanged

"Damn, what a good haul!" Toji said.

"Now wasn't it worth staying in these costumes a few hours longer?" Mari asked.

"I guess…" Toji said. "But m glad to be out of that thing."

"I didn't mind it so much." Hikari said.

"You only had to wear was a tight t–shirt and jeans!" Toji retorted.

"Oh relax…" Hikari said. "But we should get going, it's kinda late."

"Already?" Sakura asked. "What about all the candy?"

"We can eat it later, sis." Toji said.

"We'll see you guys later." Hikari said as the four of them got up.

"Bye." Sakura said glumly.

"Have a safe walk home, ok?" Shinji said.

"We will buddy." Toji said as they left

"Bye guys." Kensuke said as the door closed.

"Well, that was quick." Asuka said.

"It's been a long day." Shinji said. "I don't blame them for wanting to go home."

"No, I kinda want a nap after doing all that walking around…" Mari quipped.

"You always want to nap." Asuka said. "You're lazy like that."

"So, at least I'm well rested." Mari retorted.

"That is such as a lie, four eyes." Asuka replied.

"But did you two have fun?" Shinji asked while trying to stop them from escalating their fight. "I certainly had fun."

"Yeah, it was fun." Asuka replied. "Thank you for asking, baka."

"Yeah, im glad we coerced you guys into participating." Mari added.

"This was a fun day." Rei said quietly. "Even with the coercing to do what Asuka wanted, I believe it was the best birthday I've ever had."

"Wait, what?" Asuka asked. "Did you just say it was your…"

"Birthday?" Mari asked.

"Yes." Rei replied.

"Rei, why didn't you tell us when your birthday was?" Shinji asked.

"No one ever asked, onii–chan." Rei said. "And I did not know who to bring it up in any sort of conversation."

"You just did a pretty good job of that wundergirl." Asuka quipped.

"I need to make you a cake." Shinji said.

"There is no need for that onii–chan." Rei replied.

"Why not?" Shinji asked.

"Because, having sent time out with people that care about me matters far more than a dessert." Rei replied bluntly.

"But Rei, regardless of that, it's your birthday." Shinji said. "We need to celebrate it."

"Perhaps next year." Rei said. "Once I have a better understanding of why birthdays are so important?"

"Huh?" Mari asked.

"You want to know why they're important?" Asuka asked. "Whenever you say stuff like this, it amazes me just how sheltered you were."

"I may have been sheltered, but my birth has never been celebrated before now." Rei said.

"That seems impossible." Mari said.

"Didn't you see how happy we were at the birthdays we celebrated?" Shinji asked.

"I did, but I was still so unsure of what I was." Rei said. "And it seemed selfish to mention it this late."

"Well, you're human now." Asuka said.

"And guess what, we're going to go and celebrate." Shinji said. "Come on, I think it would be good if you experience this now."

"Onii–chan, are you sure?" Rei asked. "I believe I have gotten all I require from today."

"Why don't we order in then?" Shinji asked. "Whatever you want."

"Can we have falafel?" Rei asked.

"Sure." Shinji said. "I did say whatever you wanted."

"Thank you, onii–chan." Rei said happily.

"You're welcome." Shinji replied. "And happy birthday."

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly nine months after the conclusion of Episode VI, and two and a half years before Episode VII's opening chapter.

This one shot deals with a few things, such as a mention of Shinji's meeting with Kaji in Tokyo–2, which he is cagey about having talked about, and practice exams for senior high school were also mentioned. While neither of these things had an effect on the story, I still find it good to drop details like this into a story.

As to the main plot of the story, Halloween, its subject that has not been gone over before, even though the holiday has passed twice in the story, as mentioned by Asuka. The previous instances where Halloween was covered in the story were in Episode IV and in Gundam Invasion, both of which had circumstances distracting the kids from doing anything fun or recreational. This also happens to be Rei's birthday, something has never mentioned before, and something her friends were, up to this point, entirely unaware of.

Now, the reason Kensuke and Sakura were held up for a few minutes was because they were making out in the bathroom while getting changed. The sad part for Toji is that he still doesn't know, and won't for quite a while, while everyone else around him knows, but won't say anything because they don't want Kensuke to get in trouble. Now, as I've mentioned before, what I've written in the storyboard for their ages makes their relationship more than acceptable being only 18 months apart.  
– Kensuke Aida – September 12, 2001  
– Sakura Suzuhara – April 2, 2003  
This information can be found and can be fic's thread over on the evageeks forums.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	8. Crossed Clothes

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – Crossed Clothes

* * *

August 6, 2018 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Courtyard

Toji and Kensuke were setting up a prank to catch Mari and Asuka as they left school. The past few months had seen several pranks get played between the four of them, all started of course my Mari herself, who was only trying to have a bit of fun and get back at Toji for being what she deemed 'annoying' at times. Mari had waited outside the bathroom for Toji to come out and sprayed his pants with water to make it look like he'd pissed himself.

Now, Toji, with Kensuke's help were waiting in the courtyard for Asuka and Mari to walk out into their trap of hoses, hidden in the bushes. Because their uniforms included white shirts, the boys thought to embarrass them by making their shirts transparent.

"Toji, are you absolutely sure about this?" Kensuke asked.

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure." Toji said. "We gotta show them we're not gonna back down when things get rough."

"Aren't we just making things worse?" Kensuke asked.

"Look, they switched out my whipped cream with spray cheese and ruined a perfectly good ice cream sundae!" Toji said passionately. "I'm gonna end this by making sure everyone laughs at them like they did at me!"

"Is Shinji ok with this?" Kensuke asked. "I mean, we're going after his girlfriend here."

"He'll understand." Toji said.

"You didn't tell him?!" Kensuke exclaimed. "How is this a good idea?!"

"Because, we're getting even." Toji said.

"But you said you'd tell him!" Kensuke replied.

"I said I  _might_  talk to him." Toji said. "Now get ready… I see the redheaded devil now."

The pair of them held tight to their hoses, watching as Asuka and Mari walked outside. "Ok… just wait till they're right on top of us." Toji muttered.

"Right." Kensuke replied nervously.

As the girls passed near the bushes Toji and Kensuke opened the hose heads to spray them, but the water didn't spray the way it was supposed to. Instead, it came out the back end of the sprayer, drenching Toji and Kensuke in water.

"Gah!" Toji screamed. "What the fuck?!"

"Man, you guys are too easy to figure out." Mari quipped as she stuck her head in the bushes. "I mean, we wear bras, ya know."

"How did you even know?!" Toji shouted.

"Well, you don't exactly whisper quietly, dumbass." Asuka said. " _Kensuke, we're gonna get them hoses and make everyone see their tits!_ " Asuka mocked.

"I told you not to tell me in class!" Kensuke said.

"Shut up, man!" Toji snapped.

"So we fucked with the hose heads to give you guys a nice cold shower for your trouble." Mari said.

"So stop trying to get us." Asuka said. "We're just gonna keep outsmarting you."

"So have a nice walk home, wet ones." Mari said.

"Later, losers!" Asuka said as two of them laughed hysterically as they started walking home.

"Son of a bitch!" Toji shouted. "I'm gonna outsmart you one of these days, Mari!"

"Toji, calm down." Kensuke said. "We should just quit while we can."

"Why?" Toji asked. "I wanna get them back so bad… hmm…"

"What?" Kensuke asked. "You can't have another plan."

"Well, they said we'd never get one over on them…" Toji muttered.

"I don't like where this is going…" Kensuke sighed.

"Come on, this time I'll tell you in private so they won't catch on." Toji said.

"Toji… can't we just stop this?" Kensuke asked.

"No, we gotta stand up for ourselves." Toji said. "And prove we can handle their shit!"

"You're so stubborn." Kensuke muttered.

"Hey, they look down on you too, buddy." Toji said. "And don't act like you haven't enjoyed all the shit we're doing to them."

"Well… I have… but…" Kensuke muttered.

"But what, pal?" Toji asked forcefully.

"Oh never mind." Kensuke said. "What's the plan?"

* * *

August 15, 2018 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Shinji was just getting home from school. With the girls stuck on cleaning duty, Misato busy at NERV, and Toji and Kensuke off doing a special school project, Shinji decided to get a jump on his homework for the night with the rare peace and quiet he'd have at the apartment. As Shinji was settling in to start working, he heard a knock on the door. He got up to answer it and found Toji and Kensuke standing there.

"Hey Shinji!" Toji said brightly.

"Hi Shinji." Kensuke said.

"Hey guys." Shinji replied. "I thought you were off doing a school project or something."

"We're blowing it off." Toji said. "Got plenty of time to work on it."

"But you're going to fail without it." Shinji said.

"Meh." Toji said.

"Yeah… what he said…" Kensuke added nervously.

"Why are you guys acting so weird?" Shinji asked.

"We're not acting weird." Toji said.

"Yeah you are." Shinji said. "Did something happen to the project you're doing?"

"There isn't a project, buddy." Toji said. "Kensuke, grab him."

As the two of them grabbed Shinji, they had a bit of trouble restraining him because Shinji was struggling so much. "Hey, what are you…?!" Shinji shouted as he fought back. "Let go of me guys, this isn't funny!"

"Well, it's time we got back at Mari and Asuka for all the pranks they pulled on us." Toji said. "We can't get one over on them, but we can get one over on you."

"What do I have to do with this?" Shinji asked. "I haven't done anything with your stupid prank war! Leave me out of it!"

"Afraid it's too late for that now, pal." Toji said. "We've got a plan to carry out."

"What kind of plan?!" Shinji shouted.

"Oh, you'll see." Toji said. "Kensuke, hold him better than that, will you?"

"I still don't like this plan, Toji." Kensuke said.

"And I told you to not worry about it." Toji replied.

"But I am." Kensuke replied.

"Look, just stop worrying." Toji said. "After this, those two will think twice about messing with us again."

The pair of them carried Shinji to his room and tossed him on his bed and opened Asuka's closet and dressers.

"So… what do we have here?" Toji wondered aloud. "Wow, Asuka's got some nice stuff…" Toji smirked. "Do you like when she wears this stuff, pal?"

"It's not really me decision whether she wears it or not." Shinji replied.

"Well, I'm wondering how it looks on you, Shinji." Toji said.

"Wha… what?" Shinji stammered. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we're gonna play dress up." Toji said. "Now take off your shirt."

"Wha… no!" Shinji protested. "I'm not doing this!"

"Buddy, it's a prank." Toji said. "We're gonna dress you up and leave you here, nothing bad is gonna happen."

"But why?" Shinji asked. "Just because Mari made it look like you pissed yourself?"

"No, it's the principle of the thing." Toji retorted. "That and one upping the two of them. Kensuke, hold him."

"But…" Kensuke muttered.

"Do it!" Toji commanded.

Kensuke held Shinji down by the shoulders as Toji pulled his pants free. As Shinji kicked relentlessly, Toji somehow managed to get a skirt around Shinji's flailing waist with Shinji's feet hitting him repeatedly in the chest. Toji then leaned over Shinji's waist and pinned him.

"Kensuke, get his shirt off and throw this on him." Toji said.

"Toji…" Kensuke said.

"Dude, just do it already." Toji replied.

"Alright…" Kensuke said as he struggled to take Shinji's dress shirt and t–shirt off. Once Kensuke had gotten them off, he struggles with getting Shinji into the bra, while doing his best not to hurt him.

"Shinji, come on, if you stop struggling, it'll be easier to do this." Kensuke pleaded.

"But I don't want to do it!" Shinji said angrily. "Come on, let go!"

With a bit more struggling, Kensuke was able to get the bra on Shinji and hook it, while Toji spun Shinji onto his stomach and tied his hands behind his back.

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Toji asked.

"Untie me!" Shinji pleaded.

"We have to take some picture first as proof." Toji said as Kensuke took out a camera.

"Sorry about this, Shinji." Kensuke said. "I promise this almost over."

As Kensuke started taking pictures, they heard someone come in.

"Tadaima!" Asuka called out. "Baka, where are you?" Asuka called. "I finished cleaning early! And guess what, we have the afternoon to ourselves…" Asuka paused as they heard her looking for him. "Baka, are you taking a nap?"

"Shit, shit, shit!" Kensuke rambled. "We have to run, Toji!"

"Fuck!" Toji replied. "Yeah, let's…"

"What the fuck is going on here!?" Asuka roared as she stepped into her room to find Shinji bound on the bed with her clothes on. "YOU!" Asuka screeched.

"Run!" Toji shouted as he bolted to the door.

"Don't need to tell me twice!" Kensuke added as he followed suit.

They both flew past Asuka, and Asuka was about to chase them down when Shinji cried out for help.

"Asuka, don't leave me here!" Shinji cried.

Asuka abandoned the chase and went to help Shinji. She untied his hands and hugged Shinji tightly. "Shinji, are you ok?" Asuka asked worriedly.

"Yeah… I guess…" Shinji replied. "Just embarrassed…"

"They did this to you?" Asuka asked. "Did they hurt you?"

"No… they went out of their way to avoid that." Shinji said. "It's fine… really…"

"Don't justify their bullshit, baka!" Asuka said scoldingly. "Tell me the truth."

"Well… they said it was to get back at you and Mari…" Shinji said. "For all the pranks…"

"Oh shit…" Asuka muttered. "Shinji… I'm…"

"Asuka, before you say anything else… this prank war has to stop…" Shinji whined. "It's gotten way out of hand."

"I'm sorry baka." Asuka said as she helped Shinji unhook the bra. "I didn't think they'd ever involve you in this shit."

"Well, they did!" Shinji retorted. "I want you and Mari to end this. Don't do anything else, ok? Just take the high road. And please, don't tell anyone else about this…"

"Fine." Asuka said. "We'll be the grownups and stop this before it gets worse, and I promise not to tell Mari or anyone else."

"Thank you, Asuka." Shinji replied.

"Although… this isn't the worst thing in the world." Asuka said coyly.

"How so?" Shinji asked.

"Well, you make a cute girl." Asuka said shyly. "And I'm kinda turned on right now…"

"You don't…" Shinji began. "I'm in a skirt and bra!"

"And you look sexy…" Asuka said as she started to blush and unbuttoned her own shirt. "Oh…" Asuka discarded her shirt and smiled. "I think you're enjoying this too…"

Shinji saw Asuka looking down and realized what she meant. "That does not count. That always happens when you take off your shirt!"

"Well, you're as primed and ready as I am." Asuka quipped as she rubbed her breasts.

"Are you really turned on by all this?" Shinji asked.

"Yep." Asuka said as she removed her dress, and was left wearing only a pair of damp panties. "See… I'm soaked through."

"You're so weird sometimes." Shinji sighed.

"Says you." Asuka quipped as she pinched her nipples. "Besides, I'm making the best out of an awkward situation."

"I can see that…" Shinji sighed as he stated to undo the skirt. "Oh I guess we can if it'll make you happy…"

"It will, baka, but leave the skirt on." Asuka said as she slipped off her panties. "Just don't act like you're not going to get something out of this too."

"I'm not." Shinji replied as he buttoned the skirt back up. "I'm just lucky I have you."

"Forever and for always, baka." Asuka replied as she began passionately kissing Shinji.

* * *

August 30, 2018 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 1–A

It was lunchtime and Mari was coming back from the bathroom and happened upon a group of upperclassmen laughing hysterically at something. As Mari got closer, they began pointing at her, not realizing (somewhat stupidly) that she could see them, and Mari walked over to confront them. The upperclassmen were startled as Mari stormed over, but didn't have anywhere to run, and Mari found this quite enjoyable.

"Hey there, ass clowns." Mari said. "Any reason why you're pointing at me while you're laughing?"

"We… uh…" One of the girls rambled.

"Use your words, dear." Mari said. "You make sentences with them."

"We were laughing at this." Another girl said, holding out a picture. Mari snatched it from her and looked it over quite intently.

"Do… do you…" One of the boys began nervously. "Is that your friend in the picture?"

"Motherfucker…" Mari mumbled. "Where did you get this?"

"What?" One of the boys asked.

"Where did you get the picture?!" Mari asked angrily.

"What?" The boy stammered. "I don't… what?!"

"Can you understand what I'm saying?" Mari asked.

"What?" The boy repeated.

"Japanese, motherfucker, do you speak it?!" Mari shouted.

"Yes!" The boy replied fearfully.

"Then tell me where you got this picture from."

"Underclassman." The boy said. "Suziharo… Suzohira…?"

"Suzuhara?" Mari asked. "Tall, dumb looking grin, track suit?"

"Yeah, that's the kid." The boy replied.

"He was with a nerdy looking kid with glasses." One of the girls said.

"Thank you." Mari said. "Now get lost!"

"So uh… can we have the picture back or…" One of the other girls said.

"As one of my best friends would say…" Mari said angrily. "Are you stupid or something?!"

As they ran off, Mari rushed back to the classroom and found Asuka talking with Rei and Hikari worriedly.

"Hey, where's the puppy?" Mari asked.

"He ran off." Asuka said. "He came back from the bathroom and bolted. I can't see his car in the parking lot either. I think he went home."

"But why?" Hikari asked.

"I might have an answer on that." Mari said as she pulled out the picture. "Some upperclassmen were laughing at this."

Rei and Hikari's jaws dropped and Asuka did a facepalm when they saw Shinji dressed in a bra and a skirt with his hands all tied up.

"What the fuck…?" Hikari muttered.

"Poor onii–chan…" Rei muttered.

"Wanna guess who's distributing them?" Mari asked.

"Toji and Kensuke, right?" Asuka replied.

"Yeah, how did you…" Mari began.

"I can't talk about how I know." Asuka said.

"Well, you kinda have to." Mari said.

"No, I made a promise." Asuka replied.

"Look, if it was to keep this a secret, the secret's out of the bag now, princess." Mari retorted.

"Yeah, Asuka, how do you know about this?" Rei asked.

"I caught them a couple weeks ago dressing Shinji up in my clothes." Asuka explained. "When I got home, they had him on the bed and were taking pictures. When they saw me, they ran. I went to chase them down, but Shinji needed my help. Then he made me promise not to tell anyone…"

"So, they… both of them did this?" Hikari asked. "Why? We're all friends?"

"The prank war." Asuka muttered.

"Wait, they went after him?" Mari asked. "Because of us?!"

"And Shinji made me promise not to retaliate…" Asuka grumbled.

"That's void now." Rei said. "Onii–chan must be avenged."

"Rei, tis not like we can…" Hikari began.

"No, they need to be taught a lesson." Mari said, cutting her off. "We need to show them that an attack on Shinji, is an attack on us."

"What prank war?" Hikari asked. "Is this that thing he's always so upset about?"

"Probably because he's not winning." Mari said.

"What did he do to start this off?" Hikari asked.

"It wasn't him that started it." Mari said. "It was me."

"Typical…" Rei muttered.

"Why did you start it?" Hikari asked.

"Well, he pissed me off, so I decided to make him pay." Mari said. "I never thought the idiot would be dumb enough to retaliate…"

"He's a very proud person!" Hikari said. "He never lets anything go!"

"Well, that's on me then." Mari said. "Still, once Asuka got involved, I thought he'd end it…"

"Well, he's stubborn and proud…" Hikari muttered.

"So, how are we getting them back?" Mari asked.

"You can't be…" Hikari began.

"Yes, freckles, I am." Mari said. "I never went after anyone not involved. HE crossed the line." Mari waived the picture of Shinji in front of her. "And this is fucked up! You've got to set him straight Hikari."

Hikari grimaced at the picture. "Fine, I'll help for Shinji's sake." Hikari replied.

"What about you, Rei?" Asuka asked.

"Of course." Rei replied. "In defense of onii–chan's honor."

"Then it's settled…" Asuka began as the bell rang.

**_♪Ding dong ding ding… ding dong ding ding♪_ **

The four of them saw Toji and Kensuke walk back in the room and the smirked at the four of them, almost as if he knew they knew what Toji and Kensuke had done.

"Asshole…" Hikari muttered. "Don't be so cocky…"

"We're gonna get them back." Mari said.

"Yeah, we're gonna get them back good…" Asuka said as she glared at Toji.

"How though?" Hikari asked.

"Yes, how do we avenge onii–chan?" Rei asked.

"Don't worry, I have a plan…" Asuka muttered.

* * *

September 3, 2018 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 1–A

Toji and Kensuke had gotten to school early at Hikari's request. When they got to the classroom an hour earlier than everyone else was supposed to be there, they were expecting to have to clean up a mess or something. When they entered, they didn't see anyone, but as they turned around looked, they were confronted by Asuka, Mari, Rei, and Hikari blocking the only way out.

"H… hey guys…" Kensuke muttered nervously. "Funny running into you here…"

"Yeah… what are you doing here so early?" Toji demanded.

"Well, we needed to talk to you." Asuka said.

"About what exactly?" Kensuke asked nervously.

"Oh just some pictures going around school." Mari said.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about." Hikari added.

"So why are we here?" Toji asked.

"Well… you see…" Mari explained. "You crossed a line involving someone who wasn't part of our little war. You hurt him and made him upset…"

"And you don't make my baka upset." Asuka said angrily.

"Toji…" Kensuke muttered.

"Shut up, man…" Toji replied.

"Onii–chan is your friend." Rei said. "Why would you d that to him?"

"How could you even think it was funny?" Hikari asked.

"Well, cause it just was…" Toji said. "It was harmless…"

"Sending pictures of him around school like that is harmless?!" Hikari said. "That's not harmless Toji, that's just plain mean! Especially to someone you consider a friend!"

"It was a prank." Toji said. "That's all."

"Well… how would you feel being dressed up like a girl and paraded around?" Mari asked.

"I wouldn't like it very much…" Kensuke muttered quietly.

"Yeah it would suck." Toji said.

"Well… then it looks like we have the right punishment then…" Asuka muttered.

"Wha… what punishment is that?" Kensuke stammered.

"Oh, you'll see." Asuka said coldly. "Grab 'em!"

The four girls ran at the two boys and tackled them to the ground, hogtying them to keep them from escaping. As the boys struggled, the girls dragged Kensuke away from Toji.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Toji shouted.

"Teaching you a lesson, dipshit." Mari said. "Don't involve people in things they shouldn't be involved in."

"And you'll be apologizing to Shinji when this is all over, Toji." Hikari said angrily.

"For a stupid prank?!" Toji asked. "He didn't get hurt!"

"Yes he was." Rei said. "You humiliated him… so you will be humiliated."

"I don't like where this is going…" Toji muttered angrily.

–––

When Shinji got to school, he had walked in alone. He was not used to everyone being up, let alone gone before he had gotten breakfast ready and it worried him why they all left so early. As he got to the courtyard, it became abundantly clear why they had left early. Sitting in the courtyard, surrounded by half the student body, were Toji and Kensuke, in dresses, wigs, and makeup, with Asuka, Mari, Rei, and Hikari standing over them.

"Oh… what did they do…?" Shinji said. "Asuka promised…"

Shinji rushed over to the gaggle of students looking at the two boys done up in drag. It took Shinji a great deal of effort to push through the crowd to the front, where he saw how depressed his friends looked.

"What the hell's going on?" Shinji asked.

"Hey puppy!" Mari said brightly. "How do you like our new girlfriends?"

"Why did you do that to them?" Shinji asked.

"Retribution, onii–chan." Rei said. "For embarrassing you."

"No." Shinji said. "Asuka, you promised you wouldn't do anything else!"

"But they passed out pictures of you!" Asuka replied. "You ran off the other day!"

"So?" Shinji asked. "You didn't have to do this to them? Can't we just stop all this and just act normal again?"

"But Shinji, we did this for you." Mari said.

"I wouldn't want you to do something like this for me." Shinji replied. "Sure, I was upset the other day and went home, but they didn't deserve this."

"Shinji, they were being idiots." Hikari said. "I know I'm supposed to defend him, but… Toji did something wrong, he has to own up to it."

"Then just let him apologize." Shinji said. "We don't have to put anyone in a dress to embarrass them, it's… it's just not right."

"Shinji…" Asuka began.

"Asuka, you said you'd take the high road, that you'd be an adult about this." Shinji said.

"But they pissed me off when they passed out those pictures!" Asuka retorted. "I'm sorry I broke my promise, but they deserved it! I was fine with them forcing you into the clothes, you said you were fine, but they went too far!"

"Look, this all got out of hand." Hikari said. "Shinji's got a point…"

"Hey, you supported this." Asuka said. "Don't fold now."

"I'm not folding… I'm just trying to understand Shinji's positon." Hikari rebutted.

"I understand onii–chan's position." Rei said. "But Asuka is also correct, they needed to be punished in some fashion."

"Rei…" Shinji began.

"Onii–chan, they were acting foolishly." Rei said. "They may be our friends, but that does not excuse their actions."

"Look, if you just wanted to punish them, then you got the point across." Shinji said.

"Yeah, I guess so." Asuka said.

"But I wanted them to be like this all day…" Mari muttered.

"Mari, you started this." Shinji said. "Please, just end it."

"Fine." Mari said. "I'll stop… on one condition."

"Seriously?" Shinji asked.

"Yes, seriously." Mari replied.

"What is it then?" Shinji asked.

"Toji apologizes for calling me a bimbo." Mari said.

"Toji!" Hikari shouted "You called her a bimbo?"

"Yeah, so what if I did?!" Toji asked.

"That's not right, Toji!" Hikari said scoldingly. "Apologize to her right now!"

"Why?" Toji asked. "What good does that do me?"

"Do you really have to ask that?" Hikari said. "Think of what you could lose, Suzuhara…"

"Seriously?" Toji asked.

"Do you want to take that chance?" Hikari asked.

"Not really…" Toji replied. "You're not a bimbo, Mari… you're just annoying sometimes…"

"That's not a great apology, Toji." Kensuke said.

"Dude, shut up." Toji snapped.

"Well, I accept the half assed apology." Mari said.

"Good." Shinji replied. "So that's it then?"

"Yeah, it is." Asuka replied. "No more retaliation."

"The point has been made." Rei replied. "I see no further need to participate in such… foolishness."

"Hey, what about us?" Toji asked. "Are you gonna let us go or what?!"

"We will." Hikari said. "But when we do, it's over. No more pranks, no more retribution. You have to let it go too."

"Same goes for you, nerd." Mari said.

"I promise I'll stop." Kensuke said. "Just untie me…"

"Yeah, it's over." Toji said. "I'm tired of this shit…"

"But Shinji… do you forgive us?" Kensuke asked.

"Yeah… we kinda did… fuck up a bit…" Toji mumbled.

"And we're sorry…" Kensuke added.

"Of course I forgive you guys." Shinji replied. "We're friends, aren't we?"

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place right in the middle of the three year time skip between the end of Episode VI and the beginning of Episode VII, give or take a few weeks.

So, the entire premise of this one shot is that Toji said something stupid, funny, and mildly offensive to Mari that ticked her off a bit. So, she decided to get back at him with what she thought was a one off prank to put him in his place. However, Toji's not one to let things go, so the pranks escalated in scale bringing in Asuka and Kensuke for a continuing pattern of retribution, which escalates to what happens with poor Shinji, seeing as the girls can't be caught off guard, but he can, they take out their frustrations on him. However, the girls have the last laugh as Asuka, Mari, Hikari and Rei participate to get back at the two for humiliating Shinji, and the prank war is finally put to rest.

Now while one would think that Toji's rampage here against Shinji would ruin their friendship, Shinji felt sorry for him after he was humiliated by the girls and they made up. While the other strands of friendship would take longer to mend, they are all still friends, just friends who had an unfortunate spat involving pranks.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


	9. The Festival

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy  
One Shot – The Festival

* * *

For All My Readers – ども ありがと

* * *

May 1, 2019 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 2–A

Summer was coming up soon, and the school festival was on the horizon. Last year's festival was cancelled due to a heavy monsoon that came through the area, which soaked the ground so much, the fields looked were mud for over a month. This year however, the forecast was clear and plans for the festival were going forward. Each classroom was assigned to come up with a theme for the week–long festival, so, even with school over for the day, Hikari had kept the class late to decide on their class's theme for the festival.

"Ok… just to be clear." Hikari said as she reviewed the list written on the board. "The suggested themes for the festival are a yakisoba restaurant, a haunted house, college prep, or…" Hikari sighed deeply. "A cosplay café…"

"Sounds about right, Class Rep!" Toji said loudly.

"As long as no one else has any ideas, we can vote." Hikari said calmly.

"I think we're good Class Rep!" Toji said excitedly.

"Yeah, Hikari, I'm ready to vote!" Mari said happily.

"I've got a bad feeling about this…" Asuka muttered.

"So, all those in favor of the yakisoba restaurant?" Hikari asked as seven girls raised their hands, including Rei. "Ok, seven…" Hikari wrote the results on the board. "Ok, now the haunted house?" Three girls raised their hands, including Asuka. "Only three…" Hikari updated the results. "College prep?" Hikari asked a she raised her hand. "One." Hikari said curtly as she angrily slammed the caulk into the board to write the result. "And now… who wants the cosplay café…?" Hikari asked exasperatedly as all thirteen boys and Mari raised their hands. "Fourteen…" Hikari sighed. "Seeing as the first vote has resulted in an unfortunately clear majority… Class 2–A's theme for this year's festival will be… a cosplay café…"

"Yeah!" Toji shouted excitedly.

"Bitchin'!" Mari said exuberantly.

"We're gonna have the best class theme!" Kensuke said.

"It should be fun." Shinji added.

"Shit…" Asuka muttered.

"Ok… so seeing as Suzuhara came up with the idea… all planning is now his responsibility." Hikari said coolly. "Delegate tasks to whomever you'd like."

"No problem, Class Rep!" Toji said. "I already have some swell ideas."

"Can I help pick out the cosplay?!" Mari asked excitedly.

"What the hell, why not?" Toji said.

"Now that this is all settled." Hikari said as she erased the board. "Everyone can go home. Toji, please have a plan ready in the few days that I can bring it to the student council so they can approve funds for whatever you're planning…"

"Sure thing!" Toji said brightly as the rest of the class got up and left.

–––

A few minutes later, they were piled into the Kuga as Shinji drove home. Just as Shinji pulled out of the parking lot, Asuka turned to Shinji and punched him in the arm causing him to jerk the car towards the guardrail.

"Asuka, what the fuck are you doing?!" Mari shouted. "He's fucking driving!"

"Yes, please don't kill us, Asuka." Rei said. "I have a book I'd like to finish reading."

"I'm so pissed at baka Shinji right now." Asuka said. "You are such a fucking idiot!"

"What did I do?" Shinji asked.

"You voted for the cosplay café!" Asuka shouted. "Seriously, why would you do that?!"

"I don't know, it seemed like it would be a good idea." Shinji said. "It's basically what we do for Halloween."

"This isn't going to be us choosing our own costumes for Halloween!" Asuka said. "We're going to be dressed in skimpy costumes, forced to dress like French maids and sexy bunnies!" Asuka grumbled. "Or even worse… nekogirls!"

"They wouldn't…" Rei mumbled.

"Oh they would, wundergirl!" Asuka said. "Men are all perverts!"

"Asuka, we've been over this." Shinji said. "We're not all perverts."

"Well, maybe not you… but the rest of them are!" Asuka protested.

"I don't want to be on display…" Rei said.

"Rei, it's not going to be as bad as Asuka makes it sound." Shinji said. "You enjoy when we get dressed up for Halloween."

"But that's for a holiday." Rei said. "For this I think I would have rather preferred something a little more… subdued…"

"Huh?" Shinji asked.

"Baka!" Asuka said. "I think she means she doesn't want to be a sex object!"

"Overreact much, princess?" Mari asked.

"I'm not overreacting!" Asuka said. "We're gonna be dressing up in skimpy outfits, especially if that stooge Toji is in charge of it! I know he's a pervert!"

"Come on, I voted for it too." Mari said. "And pervert or not, it sounds like it'll be a lot of fun, princess!"

"You voted for it because you're an idiot!" Asuka said. "Why would you want to do that?"

"It's a chance to show off my figure, princess." Mari said. "I know with me there, we'll be a very popular clasrrom to go to…"

"You're just as perverted as the rest of them." Asuka grumbled.

"How lewd…" Rei muttered.

"It's just a bit of harmless cosplay." Mari said nonchalantly.

"It is not just cosplay when perverts are in charge!" Asuka retorted.

"Come on princess, you need to relax." Mari said. "If you're so worried about it, just think of it as a chance to show off your figure."

"I do not want a bunch of perverts ogling my figure!" Asuka said.

"Come on, they'll love you…" Mari crooned. "You love the attention…"

"I only like one person ogling me, four eyes!" Asuka said.

"Well… " Mari said. "You still love the attention…"

"I do not!" Asuka retorted.

"Yes you do." Mari said. "You like being the prettiest girl in school."

"She is to me…" Shinji said.

"Kiss ass…" Mari muttered.

"Baka, you're so clueless!" Asuka said.

"What did I do now?" Shinji asked. "You'll look good in whatever costume you wear."

"Baka, why are not being more upset about me being paraded around in skimpy outfits?" Asuka asked. "You're the only one who's supposed to see me like that!"

"Asuka… it's a school fair." Shinji said. "Toji can't have you dress up inappropriately, and Hikari will stop him before he does anything… stupid."

"Oh… I uh… I guess you're right…" Asuka said. "Hikari has him on a leash…"

"On a… leash?" Rei asked. "That's figurative I hope…"

"Oh yeah, it's an expression." Asuka explained. "All she has to do is threaten to withhold sex, and he'll do anything she wants."

"So we won't be… over exposed?" Rei asked.

"I guess not…" Asuka said.

"See, you overreacted again, princess." Mari joked. "You gotta work on that."

"Bite me." Asuka said.

"Tell me where, princess." Mari said

"Just stop you two." Shinji said. "I think you've fought enough for today."

"Not quite yet." Mari joked. "We haven't filled or quota."

"Don't tell me what to do, baka." Asuka said coolly.

"I'm not, Asuka." Shinji said. "I just don't like when you two argue."

"I'm not particularly fond of it either, Asuka." Rei added.

"Oh fine, I'll stop." Asuka said in a huff. "But don't think I'm done complaining about the festival. If that stooge messes anything up, he's never gonna live it down."

* * *

May 10, 2019 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 2–A

It was early on Friday morning, and Shinji was settling into his desk. As he unpacked his bag, Toji and Kensuke wandered over with grins on their faces.

"Morning guys." Shinji said.

"Morning Shinji." Kensuke replied.

"Hey buddy." Toji replied.

"What's up?" Shinji asked. "Cause if it's about the trig homework, I can't let you copy it again. The teacher almost caught you the last time."

"Forget about the stupid homework." Toji said. "I got something way more important to show you…"

"How can it be more important than homework?" Shinji said. "Aren't you worried about your grades?"

"I have other things to think about, buddy." Toji said.

"I'm afraid of what you're about to show me…" Shinji muttered.

"Don't be, buddy." Toji said. "See, me and Kensuke have been thinking the past few days about what everyone should be dressed up as."

"Oh…" Shinji replied. "Why does that matter to me?"

"Because…" Toji said as Kensuke pulled out a sheaf of paper. "We've been working on some solid ideas."

"What's all this?" Shinji asked as he slipped through the pictures of what looked like their classmates in various, somewhat erotic costumes. "I mean… seriously?"

"These are what you might call design sketches or concept art if you will." Toji said.

"I was up the last few nights drafting these sketches with Toji's input." Kensuke said.

"We uh… wanted your enlightened opinion, pal." Toji said.

"Yeah, so what do you think?" Kensuke asked.

"What are these even for?" Shinji asked as looked intently through the sketches.

"For the cosplay café, obviously." Toji said.

"Ok…" Shinji said. "So, why these costumes exactly?"

"Well, I was thinking about what costume would best suit their image." Toji said. "Like we thought for Rei, well, she's got that demure innocent thing going on… so I was thinking she could be like an English maid or something."

"Um…" Shinji muttered.

"And I thought for Hikari that with her whole bossy attitude thing that she could be like a librarian or a school girl or something." Toji said. "And Mari… well, I know I'm not supposed to say she's a bimbo, but she's got these… uh…"

"Huge tits." Kensuke said as Shinji glared at him.

"So she'd be goo in basically anything without much covering her." Toji said. "People would love to see that, so like a two piece bathing suit or something was all I could come up with. And as for Asuka… well, what do you think of this?"

Shinji looked at the picture they had of Asuka and raised his eyebrow. "That doesn't look like something Asuka would wear…"

"She's got a rockin' body like Mari, so I figured she should wear a tight unitard or something like that."

"That's not a good idea…" Shinji said. "She would not like this at all, and neither would Rei…"

"What about Mari?" Kensuke asked.

"Well, she might like the plan, but she'd probably rather choose her own costume." Shinji replied.

"So, what do you think of the plan…?" Toji asked.

"I don't think Sakura would like how either of you are talking." Shinji said. "Would she?"

"Huh?" Toji said. "Why would she care about this?"

"Yeah…" Kensuke said nervously. "Why would it matter to her?"

"Oh, she'd have her reasons." Shinji said as he noticed Asuka walk into the room. "But if Asuka catches you with this shit, she'll kill you."

"Shinji, how would she catch us?" Kensuke asked.

"Yeah, the redheaded devil isn't even here." Toji joked.

"You know I don't like when you call her that." Shinji said. "It's not nice."

"How will she know?" Toji said. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No…" Asuka said angrily from behind Toji and Kensuke, making both of them jump, and then shake with fear. "I can hear it all for myself from the two stooges bragging about it…"

"Shit…" Toji muttered.

"Oh boy… when I tell Hikari about how perverted you're being, she's gonna kill you…" Asuka muttered. "But you know what's even worse for you right now, stooge?"

"I… I don't really want to know…" Toji said anxiously.

"Yeah, me neither…" Kensuke agreed.

"Well… if there's anything I can't stand in this world, it's when people draw perverted pictures of me…" Asuka said in an unnervingly calm tone.

"Per… perverted?" Kensuke asked as his voice cracked.

"Yeah, that's right…" Asuka replied as she reached between them and snatched the picture right of Toji's hands. "And do you know what I do to people who do that?" Asuka asked a she ripped the picture to shreds.

"Please don't tell us…" Kensuke said.

Asuka leaned in and whispered in their ears. "I kick them in the dick…"

Toji and Kensuke bolted out of their chairs, sending them flying across the room and ran out so fast, they forgot to take their concept art with them.

"Having fun?" Shinji asked.

"Oh yeah." Asuka said. "I could mess with them all day, it's just too easy."

"Well, I think you got the point across." Shinji said.

"Well, I don't see any piss stains, so I didn't quite get the point across I wanted to…" Asuka mused.

"Well, I'm sorry about you having to see that." Shinji said. "I wasn't… well expecting them to put so much thought in."

"Oh, I can believe their perverted minds went into overdrive." Asuka said. "What I can't believe they actually wanted your opinion though…"

"Maybe they think I want to help plan it out." Shinji said. "But they know I'm not… you know… like that."

"Well… not outside our room anyway…" Asuka joked.

"Asuka, don't talk about that in public!" Shinji whispered anxiously. "That's private…"

"You are so adorable when you're flustered." Asuka said as she caught herself. "Hey, don't use that cute flustered look to distract me from my anger, baka!"

"It always works so well though." Shinji said sweetly.

"Arschloch…" Asuka muttered.

"Hey, don't take out your frustration on me." Shinji said. "I'm not the one making the decisions here."

"I know, it's those two stooges." Asuka said.

"I just don't know why they're trying so hard to make this so…" Shinji began.

"Lewd?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, lewd." Shinji said.

"Because they're perverts." Asuka said. "Occam's razor, baka."

"Yeah, yeah, the simplest explanation." Shinji said. "Still, how are you going to stop them from going overboard?" Shinji asked.

"I'll have Hikari beat some sense into Toji." Asuka said. "Why do I have to do someone else's work?"

"And Kensuke?" Shinji asked.

"Oh, that's easy too, baka." Asuka said. "He's dating Sakura after all… so we'll just hang that little secret over his head."

"That's going to get old at some point." Shinji said. "Toji's going to find out eventually anyway."

"Yeah, maybe." Asuka said. "And when he does, it's going to be glorious…"  
–––

After school, the kids were all back at the apartment. Asuka kept glaring at Toji and Kensuke while they did their homework in relative quiet. As they began finishing up their assignments, Toji put his work down to say something.

"Hey, uh, Shinji." Toji said. "I need to uh, ask you a favor."

"What is it?" Shinji asked.

"Well… uh… the student council approved funds for the cosplay café, but I don't really have a plan for what we're serving…" Toji explained.

"And…" Shinji asked.

"And I need your help, buddy." Toji said. "Can you come up with a menu or something and like cook it or whatever?"

"Seriously?" Asuka asked. "You want him to do three days' worth of cooking and panning on his own?"

"Well… I mean, I know he can cook good." Toji said. "He's the best cook I know."

"Excuse me?" Hikari asked.

"What, he is!" Toji said defensively. "You're a great cook too, babe, he's just… better."

"Is he always such an idiot?" Asuka asked.

"Well, not always." Hikari said. "But it's endearing."

"What did I do now?" Toji asked.

"I believe you insulted Hikari by saying onii–chan is a better cook." Rei said.

"I said she was a great cook!" Toji aid defensively.

"Man you're thick headed." Asuka said. "Did you even consider asking her for help with the food?"

"I… uh…" Toji muttered.

"Well…?" Hikari asked.

"Can Shinji help you plan out the menu and cook and everything?" Toji asked. "I only know how to make curry, but we need more than that…"

"I don't see why not." Hikari replied. "I mean, I'm glad you remembered I could cook…"

"Look, Hikari, I'm sorry." Toji said. "I should have asked you first, but I figured you wouldn't help cause my idea for the theme beat out your idea…"

"You thought I would hold that against you?" Hikari asked.

"Well… yeah…" Toji replied. "I know it was dumb, but you seemed mad about it…"

"I wasn't mad…" Hikari replied.

"Come on, freckles, that's a reasonable explanation." Mari said. "I mean, you must have been pissed off college prep wasn't chosen."

"I wasn't pissed." Hikari said. "I was just disappointed."

"Well, why didn't you offer to help him, freckles?" Mari asked. "You know he can't cook, or plan… or…"

"I get your point." Hikari replied. "I guess I shouldn't have just left him alone."

"So you'll help?" Toji asked.

"Yeah, me and Shinji can work out a workable menu." Hikari replied. "And I guess we can prep the food, right?"

"Yeah, we can use the kitchen here and load everything into the cars and bring it in." Shinji suggested.

"That could work…" Hikari said. "But we can't cook the food and then pack it all… that's too much, even for us."

"I can do that." Mari said. "I'd like to help."

"I would also like to help." Rei said.

"I can help cook." Asuka added.

"You can?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah, Asuka's a great cook too." Shinji said. "We could use all the help we can get."

"Yeah." Hikari said. "With all of us, we should be able to handle this."

"What about those two?" Mari asked. "They can pack the food too, they aren't cripple or anything, are they?"

"Well, we're sorta the ones in charge…" Toji began.

"If you want my help, you're both packing the food." Hikari said. "Boss or not."

"And if Hikari's not doing it, I ain't helping either." Mari said.

"Yeah, same here." Asuka said.

"I also won't help if they all back out." Asuka said. "You'll be on your own."

"Fine, fine, we'll help." Toji said. "Can't upset the balance."

"But what about the costumes?" Kensuke asked. "I mean, we're doing a cosplay cafe, but we don't have any costumes for the girls."

"Well, what about the boys?" Asuka asked.

"Now that you mention it, why aren't you getting costumes for the boys?" Hikari said.

"Yeah, that's not fair." Mari said.

"Well, us boys were gonna be the guys in the back making up the orders while you girls were up front taking care of the orders and everything." Toji explained.

"Well, that's bullshit!" Asuka said angrily.

"Yeah, all the girls are being forced to dress up!" Hikari snapped. "Some boys need to dress up too!"

"Well, that's gonna throw off everyone coming in…" Toji said. "Plus none of us boys are that good at remembering orders anyway."

"How do you even know that?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, stop bullshitting us." Mari said.

"What, we want people to come for the views and the food." Toji said. "That requires certain… criteria… to be met."

"Like what?!" Asuka asked angrily.

"All the servers to be girls." Kensuke said.

"Well… I mean, that's kinda the point of a cosplay café…" Mari mumbled.

"Fine, then one of the boys needs to dress up as a girl." Asuka said. "And it needs to be convincing."

"Yeah, but who could that be?" Hikari asked. "All the boys look like boys."

"Well… there may be one…" Rei said.

"Who?" Hikari asked.

"Onii–chan." Rei replied.

"No." Shinji said. "I don't want to dress up like a girl."

"Well, either you do it, or the cosplay café is off." Asuka said.

"Do I have to?" Shinji asked.

"Well, you're the guy we're looking at, puppy." Mari said.

"What am I dressing up as…"

"How about a school girl?" Toji suggested.

"Yeah, but we can't buy a costume for that." Kensuke said. "It's not in the budget…"

"Oh, I think we can figure something out…" Mari said. "I have an idea…"

"Oh dear…" Shinji muttered. "I've got a bad feeling about this…"

"And what about the rest of the costumes?" Hikari asked.

"Well, the others girls have picked out what they wanted already." Toji said proudly. "We just need your decisions, ladies."

"Seriously?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, here's the costumes that are still available." Toji said as he pushed a list to them.

"The ones we have the budget left to buy anyway." Kensuke added.

"This is seriously it?" Asuka asked. "There's like five choices here!"

"Yeah, this is what happens when you're last to pick." Toji said.

"And we didn't want any duplicate costumes either." Kensuke added. "That way everyone's got a unique costume they picked."

"That's… oddly kind of you two…" Hikari said.

"Actually, considering what they've done so far, it's positively sweet of them." Mari joked. "What's the catch?"

"No catch, the pictures on the list are what the costumes are." Toji said. "Hikari convinced me that not everything needs to be… so over the top."

"Why didn't you let us pick first?" Hikari asked. "We're your friends after all."

"Well, one of you seemed that thrilled with the idea of it, so I just didn't want to cause more trouble than I was already in." Toji explained.

"Besides, the others girls came up to us asking about the costumes, so we really never got a chance to properly ask you."

"Oh, that's just great…" Asuka muttered. "This is what I have to choose from…"

"It's not that bad, princess." Mari said. "There's like seven things here. Hell, I'll even pick last so everyone else gets what they want."

"That doesn't make this any easier…" Asuka muttered.

"Well, we're just going to have to suck it up and do it." Hikari said simply. "Shinji's agreed to dress up, so we've got no excuses anymore."

"Still, I don't have to be happy about it." Asuka retorted as they looked over the list.

* * *

May 15, 2019 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School

Another school day had ended, and today, the kids had nothing planned for the afternoon. Mari had been waiting until the end of the day to tell her roommates something she'd been hiding the entire day. When Mari walked in that morning, she spotted an advertisement for the festival that she wanted to bring up, but had been unable to do so with the amount of work everyone was doing to prepare for the festival. So, as they were piling into the car, Mari grabbed a folded copy of the flier she had taken off the wall to show everyone and burst out excitedly, unable to contain her idea any longer.

"Hey guys, look at what I saw this morning!" Mari said excitedly, starling Shinji.

"You found your common sense after all this time?" Asuka asked.

"Common sense is neither common, nor a sense, princess." Mari quipped. "You of all people should know that."

"Arschloch…" Asuka muttered.

"Anyway, here's the flier for it." Mari said as she passed it up to Shinji and Rei.

"A battle of the bands?" Shinji asked. "Mari, I don't think we're qualified to do anything like this, and we don't even have a band…"

"Yeah we are." Mari said. "We can all sing, and I know you can play like… two instruments."

"But we have the cosplay café to worry about." Shinji said. "We need to be there for that."

"It's only for one song, puppy." Mari whined. "Besides, it'll be fun!"

"Is there a prize involved?" Asuka asked.

"Free buffet tickets for the karaoke bar we go to." Mari said happily. "So we'll be able to eat free… and everything tastes better when you're not paying for it!"

"Hmm…" Asuka muttered. "Well, I can play guitar…"

"You can?" Shinji asked. "You never told me that before."

"You never asked." Asuka replied. "I mean, it's not as good as you playing the cello, but it's decent."

"And I do drums or the bass guitar, so we're covered there…" Mari said.

"What about you, Rei?" Asuka asked. "Can you play anything?"

"I do not think I'll participate." Rei said. "Singing hasn't been enjoyable for me for… quite some time…"

"Really?" Asuka asked.

"Yes, I also can't play an instrument, so I would be of no use." Rei said.

"Oh… that's too bad…" Mari said sullenly. "You're sure?"

"Very." Rei said curtly.

"Well, what about you, puppy?" Mari asked. "Are you in?"

"I mean, if you and Asuka are on guitars, then I guess I could do the keyboard…" Shinji said. "I think I still have the one I used to practice on."

"You think?" Asuka asked.

"I'll have to check the basement." Shinji said. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, I'll have to look for my guitar too." Asuka said. "I haven't seen it since I moved here."

"So, you're going to need to practice, princess." Mari joked.

"We're all going to need to practice." Asuka snapped back. "It's not like we all play our instruments for fun."

"No… I'll have to find a bass guitar like my old one…" Mari said.

"Where's your old one?" Shinji asked.

"No idea." Mari said. "Last time I had it, it was when I was working on Project Alcion. It could be anywhere by now."

"Well, maybe it's with all the personal belongings Misato was able to get for you." Asuka said. "I mean, there was a pile of crap they brought downstairs…"

"I guess we'll have to look later." Mari said. "But who's doing vocals? I'd like to…"

"I will." Asuka said.

"I'm out." Shinji said.

"Quitter." Asuka joked.

"No, I'd just rather have one of you sing." Shinji said. "You're both really good."

"Well, what if we each did a song?" Asuka asked. "That way we don't fight over it."

"Sounds fair to me." Mari said.

"So, we're really doing this?" Asuka asked.

"Looks like it." Shinji replied. "We must be crazy."

"Well, it's no different than the Halloween contest we did." Mari said. "And we won that."

"I know, but this is going to be a lot more difficult than dressing up." Shinji said. "We're really going to have to try to do this right."

"We will, baka." Asuka said. "If we can defeat giant, Angelic beings, we can win a little battle of the bands."

* * *

May 19, 2019 – Comfort 17 Apartments

It had been a rough few days for the kids. It had taken them the four days since Mari brought up the festival's battle of the bands to search through their belongings in the basement and find their respective musical instruments. While Shinji had kept his cello in his room well cleaned, the keyboard he had was in its case stacked under a load of stuff he'd taken from his old home in Atsugi. Asuka also found her guitar in its case, and all it needed was to be re–stringed and it would be good to go. As for Mari, after an extensive search of her stuff, she had found her bass guitar, outside its case, needing to be both cleaned and re–strung. So as they had finally found their instruments, now they needed to plan out everything else.

"So how are we doing this, four eyes?" Asuka asked.

"Why are you asking me?" Mari asked.

"Well, it was your idea to do this, wasn't it?" Asuka retorted. "So, you're in charge, for whatever that's worth."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Mari asked.

"That you're the one in charge." Asuka replied. "I'm pretty sure you can handle the responsibility."

"Oh, well then…" Mari said. "We need to pick a song or two, that is if you still want to switch off being the vocalist or not."

"I'm not sure." Asuka said. "It might be a nice idea, but do we really have time to learn the chords for two songs?"

"I don't know, I'm not a musical expert." Mari said. "We don't want to over extend ourselves… but we also should both be able to sing."

"Well, if we have to cut a song, I won't sing." Asuka said. "It was your idea, so it's only fair if you sing."

"Are you absolutely sure, Asuka?" Mari asked. "I don't mind…"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Mari!" Asuka snapped. "I'm fine doing backup vocals."

"I don't see why we can't learn two songs." Shinji said. "We've still got two weeks."

"You're crazy." Asuka said.

"Nothing's impossible if you try hard enough." Shinji said.

"Well, we could practice every day after school." Asuka said.

"And we could practice at school during our break periods." Mari said.

"If we do all that, maybe we  _can_  pull it off!" Asuka said excitedly.

"So… what songs would we sing?" Mari asked aloud.

"I don't know." Asuka said. "You have any ideas?"

"Well, I have a couple." Mari said. "For me at least."

"Oh, so I have to come up with my own song?" Asuka asked.

"Well, you have to  _choose_  your own song." Mari said. "We're not creating two songs just for kicks."

"I know that." Asuka said. "But I have no idea what to pick." Asuka turned to Shinji. "Baka, do you have any ideas?"

"I don't have any ideas, Asuka." Shinji said. "Sorry…"

"Oh, don't be sorry." Asuka said. "I'm singing, I need to come up with a song myself."

"Well, I think I'm going to do a Katy Perry song." Mari said. "There are a couple I want to do, but I think I can narrow it down."

"Then maybe I can sing something from Paramore." Asuka said. "This could work."

"Well, we still need a band name." Shinji said. "Something like  _The Pilots_."

"Nah, that's boring as all hell." Mari said.

"And a little predictable." Asuka added.

"So do you guys have any thoughts?" Shinji asked.

"How about  _Two Girls, A Boy, and a Penguin_?" Asuka asked.

"That's too long." Mari said. "We need something short… something that is… us."

"How about  _The Dead Angels_?" Asuka suggested.

"Or what about  _The Instrumentality Project_?" Shinji said.

"Still too long…" Mari lamented, and then it clicked. "I know what would be perfect!" Mari said excitedly. "How about  _The Evangelions_?"

"Seriously?" Asuka asked. "That's your suggestion?"

"Well, who else could use that name?" Mari asked.

"I don't think anyone else could." Shinji said.

"So are we agreed?" Mari asked.

"Yeah." Shinji replied.

"I guess that's ok…" Asuka said. "It's… well… the best one we've got."

"Then let's jam." Mari said happily.

* * *

May 31, 2019 – Comfort 17 Apartments

After finally getting their songs down perfectly with very little time to spare, the kids had gone out shopping right after finishing practice to pick up all the ingredients they'd need for the cosplay café's menu. As they got back, they saw their three friends waiting for them in the parking lot. With the seven of them there, they were able to move all the groceries in one trip and immediately set to work prepping the food.

"I think we bought too much food." Mari said as she packaged the food in Tupperware containers to put into the fridge.

"No, we probably didn't buy enough." Toji said. "This thing is going to be a fucking success!"

"Yeah it is!" Kensuke said supportively.

"Well, no matter how much food we bought, there's a load of stuff here to cook and pack." Shinji said.

"Yeah, so less talking and more working, peons!" Asuka snapped.

"Asuka, that's not nice!" Hikari said.

"Well, they're doing the grunt work." Asuka said.

"Still, peons is a little harsh…" Hikari said.

"I could have said peasants." Asuka joked.

"Jesus…" Hikari muttered.

"Asuka, the rice." Shinji said.

"Oh, right." Asuka replied as she went back to focusing on what she was cooking.

"Well, at least the classroom is set up." Hikari said. "We've got the desks set up like tables, we've got dividers up."

"The coolers came just after you left." Rei said. "And the microwaves shouldn't short out the power."

"Are you sure?" Hikari asked. "We can't lose power tomorrow."

"Yeah, we'll lose business if we lose power!" Kensuke said.

"We tested them all at once." Mari said. "Nothing shorted out so we should be fine."

"And the menus?" Toji asked.

"Some of the other girls designed them, they're back at in the classroom." Shinji said. "They look really nice."

"So, then we're all ready for tomorrow." Toji said.

"Seems like it." Kensuke replied.

"No we're not!" Asuka said. "You guys are slacking on the packing up the food! If you don't hurry up we'll be here all night!"

"We're going as fast as we can!" Mari said.

"It's not fast enough." Asuka said.

"Yeah guys, we're running out of counter space." Hikari said.

"We will try to pick up the pace." Rei replied.

"Good, cause I'd like to be able to sleep before tomorrow morning." Asuka muttered.

* * *

June 1, 2019 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 2–A

It was still early, and the kids had gotten to school before the festival had opened. Once they and their classmates had carried all the food inside, Toji procured the costumes everyone was going to wear. The rest of the girls in the class were content wearing the costumes, because it was for the festival. While the other girls had gotten changed, Asuka stared at the package containing her costume.

"I don't like it." Asuka said. "I've made a horrible decision."

"No you haven't, princess." Mari said. "Now suck it up, and let's go get changed."

As the girls left to get changed, Shinji went to help unpack the food, but was also grabbed by Mari and dragged with them.

"Don't think you're getting out of your costume experience, puppy." Mari said playfully as she tapped her bag. "I've got you a cute little costume right here."

"Mari, I hope it's at least tasteful…" Shinji said.

"As tasteful as the rest of the costumes are." Mari replied.

"Oh boy…" Shinji muttered.

"Does he have to come in there with us?" Hikari asked. "It's a little weird…"

"Don't worry, he's always on his best behavior in a locker room." Asuka said.

"Oh, fine…" Hikari relented.

A short time later, the five of them emerged in their costumes. Rei was dressed in a sailor fuku outfit, Hikari was dressed up as a shine maiden, Asuka, much to her chagrin, was in a skimpy bunny outfit with fishnet stockings and what amounted to a very tight and revealing looking one–piece bathing suit complete with cotton ball tail, and ears to match with a collar and bowtie around her neck. Mari was happily dressed as a nekogirl, and had a long tail, and had on even less clothes than Asuka did, which showed off her ample figure nicely, and a small choker with a heart on its front. Shinji on the other hand reluctantly left the bathroom looking downtrodden. He was dressed up in a jet black wig that fell to his all the way down his back with a powder blue hairband, a white blouse with a school's emblem, with a green tie, and a maroon and navy blue plaid skirt. He also had on black thigh high stockings and black shoes.

"Oh, my old school uniform looks great on you!" Mari said. "You look adorable!"

"How can that be the same uniform?" Asuka asked. "He's… well… uh, he doesn't have tits, four eyes."

"I got a smaller shirt for him." Mari said happily.

"It looks decent." Hikari said "Very passable."

"Just what I wanted to hear…" Shinji mumbled.

"You look nice, onii–chan." Rei said.

"Thank you guys." Shinji said. "Now, can we get back before we're late?"

"Yeah, come on." Asuka said. "We should have customers by now!"

The five of them re–entered the room to all the other girls wearing their own cosplay costumes with varying degrees of coverage based on the girl's own preferences. As they all gathered menus and serving trays, and the food was laid out ready to be re–heated, it was time to begin the festival. Kensuke peeked his head out the door just before they opened to get a look at the crowd.

"We have a line!" Kensuke said excitedly as he closed the door behind him.

"Seriously?" Mari asked. "Already?"

"Yeah, already." Kensuke replied. "There' like ten people out there."

"Well, let's open up!" Toji said. "Come on guys in back, ladies up front."

"Hey, Shinji dressed up for this!" Mari said.

"Yeah, well we need him in back." Toji said. "He's gotta direct everyone."

"Oh, that's right!" Hikari said. "Shinji is in charge in the kitchen."

"What about those two stooges?" Asuka asked.

"We have managerial duties to attend to." Toji said.

"Yeah, goofing off and doing nothing more like." Mari muttered.

"We should get ready." Rei said. "We have to open."

"Right, right." Hikari said. "Ok ladies, places!"

Shinji followed the boys to the back while the girls lined up near the door, ready for it to be opened. "Welcome everyone!"

* * *

June 2, 2019 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 2–A

The first day of the festival had gone well, and the café had used up most of the food that had been prepared the night before. So, after a long day serving the food up, the gang had spent the previous night prepping more food for the next day. Now, back in their cosplay one again, they had the second day of the festival to contend with. However, business had slowed down a bit from the previous day, so Toji had an idea.

"Hey, Asuka, Mari, can you take this sign around the festival a few times?" Kensuke asked as he handed them a simple homemade sign that said " _2–A COSPLAY CAFÉ_ " in bold capital letters.

"Why would we do that?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, that's dumb." Asuka added.

"To drum up some business." Toji said.

"Do we have to wear the costumes?" Asuka asked.

"Yes." Toji replied bluntly as Kensuke handed the sign to Asuka.

" _That_  was a dumb question, princess…" Mari quipped.

"Fine…" Asuka muttered. "But I'm taking Shinji."

"Whatever, we're not that busy anyway." Toji replied.

"Yo, baka, let's go!" Asuka said.

"What?" Shinji shouted back.

"We're taking a walk!" Asuka shouted in reply.

"In the costume?" Shinji asked.

"Yes!" Asuka shouted. "No more that cute as of yours, schoolgirl!"

"May I come as well?" Rei asked.

"Sure, the more cute girls that go, the more customers we'll get." Toji said excitedly.

"Ok, so what are doing?" Shinji asked.

"We're walking around school with this." Asuka pushed the sign to Shinji. "Guess what you get to carry."

"The sign?" Shinji asked sarcastically.

"Very good." Asuka replied in kind. "Now let's go."

As the four of them walked quietly around the school, with Asuka leading the way, Shinji carried the sign at the back of the group, hoping no one would recognize him. However, as they waked, they heard a lot of murmuring, which got Shinji worried that someone recognized him in his schoolgirl cosplay.

"I think someone recognized me…" Shinji muttered.

"Don't be so paranoid, baka." Asuka said. "They're just looking at our bodies, its nothing new or even surprising."

"But the whispers…" Shinji said.

"Are about how you're the cutest of the four of us…" Asuka said tersely. "If they only knew…"

"It figures Shinji would get all the attention." Mari mused. "But he does make a very cute girl… kinda ironic actually…"

"Ironic how?" Asuka asked.

"Almost as if he was designed a girl, but made into a boy." Mari joked.

"Mari, stop it!" Shinji said in a high pitched voice.

"Oh, relax puppy." Mari said. "I'm only joking."

"It's hard to tell with you sometimes." Shinji said.

"You mean all the time." Asuka quipped.

"Well, I'd hope so." Mari said. "Otherwise I'm doing it wrong."

"So what are those boys saying about onii–chan?" Rei asked.

"Well, how she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and that she must be an exchange student because they've never seen her before." Asuka said. "That's the general idea anyway."

"Hang on, is that why you brought me along?" Shinji asked.

"Well, yeah." Asuka said. "I wanted to see if anyone would notice that you're actually a boy."

"Why would want to do that exactly?" Shinji asked.

"Well… for two reasons." Asuka said. "One, I wanted to know who people would pay more attention to, you or the rest of us." Asuka smirked. "And two, I wanted to see your reaction when I told you."

"Asuka, that's not very nice!" Shinji retorted weakly.

"Yes it is!" Asuka said. "And I'm trying not to laugh right now because all these boys think you're a girl!"

"Asuka, that's petty hilarious!" Mari chortled.

"I'm not seeing the humor in it." Rei said.

"Because he's a boy dressed as a girl…" Asuka explained. "And all the boys like how pretty he is."

"So it's ironic humor…" Rei replied.

"Yeah." Asuka replied.

"Oh, that  _is_  funny." Rei said as she giggled. "Onii–chan does make a fairly convincing girl."

"Well, if he put on a blue wig like your hair, you'd look like twins." Asuka joked.

"Would we look that much alike?" Rei asked.

"Why don't we find out tonight when we go home?" Mari suggested. "We can buy a wig, easy. We just have to find the right color…"

"I'm not liking this discussion very much…" Shinji muttered.

"Oh, stop being a buzzkill, baka." Asuka snapped. "Now let's get back to the room, I think we've walked around long enough."

–––

After getting back from their walk, business began to pick up again, with many people asking where the "super cute girl" in the schoolgirl outfit was.

"Wow, and here I thought the buzz from that would die down…" Asuka muttered.

"What do you mean?" Hikari asked. "Are they asking for… Shinji?"

"Yeah, they are." Asuka replied.

"I don't really have it in me to break their hearts about it…" Hikari said.

"Well, right now, that's the least of my worries." Asuka said as she pointed to the door as Misato walked in. "That is."

"When has Misato ever been a problem?" Hikari asked.

"Whenever we go out, she always finds some way to embarrass the hell out of us." Asuka replied. "So… I'll go take her order…"

"Good luck." Hikari replied as Asuka walked over to Misato.

"Good afternoon ma'am, how can I help you?" Asuka asked.

"Oh, don't act like I'm some stranger, Asuka." Misato joked. "We live together."

"Don't start anything, Misato." Asuka said in a hushed tone. "I mean it, we're trying to work here."

"I'm not going to do anything." Misato said.

"I find that highly unlikely." Mari said as she walked over. "Figured you could use an extra set of hands with this customer, princess."

"Yeah, I probably could." Asuka said.

"Mari, put on some clothes!" Misato exclaimed.

"Really, you're judging what I wear?" Mari asked.

"Well, as a concerned parent, yes, I am." Misato replied.

"Please don't." Mari said. "I picked the costume cause I knew I'd look great in it."

"Mari, you could have picked something else…" Misato said.

"So, what are you doing here, Misato?" Asuka asked.

"Yeah, spill." Mari added.

"What's the big deal anyway?" Misato asked. "I haven't seen hide nor hair of you guys the past few weeks, between your festival preparations and doing who knows what with those poor instruments, I just wanted to see you… is that so bad?"

"Is that the real reason you're here?" Mari asked as Misato's stomach grumbled very loudly. "Cause I'm guessing it's not entirely true."

"Are you implying that I'm lying?" Misato asked.

"I said not entirely true, miso." Mari replied. "I believe you, but it's not the only reason."

"Well… you know, I haven't been able to eat in my own kitchen the last two nights, and considering this festival goes into tomorrow, I'm guessing I won't be able to eat in there tonight either…" Misato explained. "MY stomach doesn't seem to handle the food I can cook myself anymore, and I'm tired of takeout, so I wanted to come here and eat a whole bunch, ok?"

"Yeah, we're using the kitchen again tonight." Asuka said matter–of–factly. "Shinji has way more to cook."

"Wait, you can't handle that gross food you used to make anymore?" Mari joked.

"No, I can't." Misato said curtly. "So, can I order?"

"I don't know, can you?" Mari asked.

" _May_  I order now?" Misato replied.

"Yes, what would you like?" Asuka asked.

"One of everything on the menu, please." Misato said.

"Seriously?" Mari asked.

"Yes, seriously." Misato said. "I haven't had a home cooked meal in days, but I'm sure as hell having one now."

"Ok, we'll go get  _all that_  for you." Mari said sarcastically.

Mari and Asuka walked to the kitchen area and saw Shinji and the rest of the boys busy at work. "Shinji, we need one of everything for a very special customer." Asuka said.

"Why are they special exactly?" Shinji asked.

"It's miso, puppy." Mari said.

"Wait, one of everything?" Shinji asked.

"Yeah, double time it too, she's hungry." Asuka added.

"Alright…" Shinji said as he got to work heating up several plates of food. As he gathered the food for the girls to take, Shinji grabbed two plates himself to try and help them out. "Well, you don't have enough hands, and I may as well say hello…"

"I'm not going to say no to your help, baka." Asuka said.

"Neither am I." Mari added.

The three of them walked up to the impatiently waiting Misato and laid out all the food in front of her.

"Here you go, ma'am." Asuka said.

"Thank you." Misato replied. "And thank you young… lady…?" Misato peered at the costumed Shinji as he remembered he was still dressed as a girl. "You're not a girl… Shinji, is that you?"

"No…" Shinji muttered.

"Holy shit, it is you! I almost didn't recognize you with the long hair!" Misato said loudly. "But what's with the Catholic schoolgirl look, Shinji?" Misato joked.

"It wasn't my choice…" Shinji said as his face turned bright red.

"Well… you do make a cute girl, Shinji–kun." Misato said sweetly.

"im going back to the kitchen now…" Shinji muttered. "Nice seeing you Misato…"

"So, who picked out the outfit?" Misato asked.

"I did." Mari said proudly.

"Nicely done, Mari." Misato said. "He makes a pretty convincing girl."

"Well, I'm still not sure if that's a compliment to him or not…" Asuka said.

"Well, I don't know." Misato said. "How do you feel about Shinji being the prettier one in the relationship…"

"He is not!" Asuka snapped.

"I'm sure he's not but you should see your face!" Misato said with a mouthful of food. "Oh my god… I missed this so much…"

"What, pigging out?" Asuka quipped.

"No…" Misato said as she finished chewing. "Freshly cooked food…"

* * *

June 3, 2019 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 2–A

The last day of the festival was finally here. After another night of pre–cooking food for the next day, the kids were back in their costumes again, ready for another long day of work. Toji and Kensuke were hopeful that business would be even better than the day before, where they ran out of food half an hour before they were set to close. With all the work they were doing, Shinji, Asuka, and Mari almost forgot that they had a show to do until Hikari reminded them. Hikari went over to Asuka and Mari after they severed several people their food and pulled them aside.

"Hey guys, don't you have to get ready?" Hikari asked.

"Shit!" Asuka shouted. "Baka, four eyes, we gotta go!"

"Go?" Mari asked as she dropped an order off at a table. "I'm in the middle of something, princess…"

"What?" Shinji shouted from the kitchen area.

"Battle of the bands! Do you not remember?!" Asuka shouted back. "Come on, let's move, we're gonna be late!"

"Oh, that's right!" Mari replied.

"Baka, let's go!" Asuka said.

"Let me just finish putting this together." Shinji said as he came out with two plates of food in his hands and served it to two waiting customers. "Ok, I'm ready to go. Can we change first?"

"There isn't time." Asuka replied. "We have less than ten minutes."

"But…" Shinji protested.

"Less talking more running, baka!" Asuka snapped.

"Right!" Shinji said as the three of them ran off towards the stage.  
–––

As the three of them got to the courtyard, the saw the stage ahead of them and stopped at the back of it in front of someone with a clipboard.

"Name?" The stage manager asked.

"Makinami… Mari…" Mari panted.

"Right,  _The Evangelions._ " The stage manager said. "You're the last act, and you're on in ten. Any changes to your set?"

"Nope… just two songs." Asuka replied, slightly out of breath.

"Alright, your equipment is back stage, you're be able to set up once the stage clears." The stage manager said. "Good luck."

"Thanks…" They all replied.

"Ok… so we've only got a couple minutes before we go on." Asuka said.

"At least we're on time." Mari added.

"But we can't change, can we?" Shinji asked.

"No, we're all stuck in these ridiculous cosplays…" Asuka grumbled. "So no more complaining, baka!"

"I'm not complaining, I'd just prefer to not be in a skirt… on stage…" Shinji muttered. "Where people could see up…"

"Oh relax, no one's going to see anything." Asuka said. "You're standing farther back than us. Someone would have to be under you to up your skirt."

"If you say so…" Shinji replied.

"I do say so." Asuka replied. "Now come on, we have to get set up so we can out there and do this the right way."

"I know…" Shinji muttered.

"Hey puppy, just remember you agreed to wear the schoolgirl outfit so the rest of us would dress up." Mari said. "It could be worse you know."

"Huh?" Shinji asked.

"You could be dressed like Asuka, and then you'd have something to worry about." Mari quipped.

"Ok, you're on in five minutes." The stage manager said as she strolled back over. "The curtain will be down so you can get in position, and then you sing your hearts out."

"Yeah, no pressure…" Mari muttered.

–––

As they were called on stage, the three of them stood nervously behind the curtain waiting for it to shoot up. Shinji was cracking his knuckled nervously while Asuka cracked her neck and Mari hopped from one foot to the other trying to stay calm.

"We can do this." Mari kept muttering.

"Yes, we can." Asuka said. "Now be quiet, you're making me nervous!"

"We'll be great, guys." Shinji said. "We've practiced enough, so we'll be fine."

"Your voice isn't reassuring me…" Asuka muttered as the curtain began to rise.

" _And now last but certainly not least…_ " The MC said as the curtain raised up. " _Our final act, from Class 2–A… The Evangelions!_ "

"Looks like we don't have time to argue anymore…" Mari said as she stepped forward with Asuka to their mics. "Hello everyone!" Mari said happily, trying not to sound overly nervous. "Are you ready for a show?" The crowd cheered in agreement. "Alright, then how about we count it down!" Mari replied enthusiastically.

"Three… two… one…" Shinji counted down.

"Let's jam!" Asuka said excitedly as they started to play an upbeat pop tune and Mari began to sing.

**♪This was never the way I planned**   
**Not my intention**   
**I got so brave, drink in hand**   
**Lost my discretion**   
**It's not what, I'm used to**   
**Just wanna try you on**   
**I'm curious for you**   
**Caught my attention**

**I kissed a girl and I liked it**   
**The taste of her cherry chap stick**   
**I kissed a girl just to try it**   
**I hope my boyfriend don't mind it**   
**It felt so wrong**   
**It felt so right**   
**Don't mean I'm in love tonight**   
**I kissed a girl and I liked it**   
**I liked it**

**No, I don't even know your name**   
**It doesn't matter**   
**You're my experimental game**   
**Just human nature**   
**It's not what, good girls do**   
**Not how they should behave**   
**My head gets so confused**   
**Hard to obey**

**I kissed a girl and I liked it**   
**The taste of her cherry chap stick**   
**I kissed a girl just to try it**   
**I hope my boyfriend don't mind it**   
**It felt so wrong**   
**It felt so right**   
**Don't mean I'm in love tonight**   
**I kissed a girl and I liked it**   
**I liked it**

**Us girls we are so magical**   
**Soft skin, red lips, so kissable**   
**Hard to resist so touchable**   
**Too good to deny it**   
**Ain't no big deal, it's innocent**   
**I kissed a girl and I liked it**   
**The taste of her cherry chap stick**

**I kissed a girl just to try it**   
**I hope my boyfriend don't mind it**   
**It felt so wrong**   
**It felt so right**   
**Don't mean I'm in love tonight**   
**I kissed a girl and I liked it**   
**I liked it♪**

The crowd cheered loudly as they finished the song, with Mari taking a quick bow. "Alright, who wants to hear more?!" Mari called out loudly as the crowd cheered in response. "Sounds like they want another one, Asuka!"

"Well, let's indulge them!" Asuka shouted as they began playing a pop/rock tune and it was Asuka's turn to sing.

**♪Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together**   
**I need the other one to hold you**   
**Make you feel, make you feel better**   
**It's not a walk in the park to love each other**   
**But when our fingers interlock, can't deny, can't deny, you're the worth it**

**'Cause after all this time**   
**I'm still into you**

**I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you**   
**And even baby our worst nights**   
**I'm into you, I'm into you**   
**Let 'em wonder how we got this far,**   
**'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all**   
**Yeah, after all this time**   
**I'm still into you**

**Recount the night that I first met your mother**   
**And on the drive back to my house I told you that, I told you that I loved ya**   
**You felt the weight of the world fall off the shoulder**   
**And to your favorite song we sang along, to the start of forever**

**And after all this time**   
**I'm still into you**

**I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you**   
**And even baby our worst nights**   
**I'm into you, I'm into you**   
**Let 'em wonder how we got this far,**   
**'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all**   
**Yeah after all this time**   
**I'm still into you**

**Some things just, some things just make sense**   
**And one of those is you and I**   
**Some things just, some things just make sense**   
**And even after all this time**

**I'm into you**   
**Baby not a day goes by that I'm not into you**

**I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you**   
**And even baby our worst nights**   
**I'm into you, I'm into you**   
**Let 'em wonder how we got this far,**   
**'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all**   
**Yeah after all this time**   
**I'm still into you**   
**I'm still into you**   
**I'm still into you♪**

The crowd cheered again at the end of the song with Asuka taking a bow. "Thank you everyone!"

"You've been a great crowd!" Mari said happily.

" _Well, that was one hell of a set!_ " The MC said. " _Give it up for The Evangelions!_ " The crowd cheered again as the curtain closed. " _Now if we could have the other bands come back on stage in just a moment, we'll have the audience vote!_ "

Shinji, Asuka, and Mari appeared from behind the curtain while the other six bands walked back on stage and lined up along the stage facing the audience nervously.

" _Ok… you guys know the drill by now._ " The MC said. " _Pull out those phones and get ready to text the number on the screen with your choice._ "

While the audience texted rapidly on their phones, the kids whispered nervously amongst themselves waiting to find out who won.

"How do you think we did?" Shinji whispered.

"You played perfectly, baka." Asuka whispered back.

"Yeah, and our guitar work was great too, princess." Mari said. "Overall, I think we did great. We could win this thing…"

"Because I sang…" Asuka muttered.

"Or it was because of both of us, princess." Mari said. "You weren't the only one singing…"

"We can argue about this later…" Asuka said. "Cause we have a competition to win."

" _And the results are in!_ " The MC said proudly. " _Well over a thousand votes were cast, and the numbers pretty darn close, but there is a winner, and it's The Evangelions! Step forward and take a bow ladies!_ "

"Ladies…?" Shinji whispered.

"Looks like that costume is holding up better than we thought…" Mari said quietly.

"I wonder if it had anything to do with us winning…" Asuka muttered.

"Let's not talk about it right now…" Shinji whispered.

"Yeah, because the pretty girl just gets all the attention, right?" Asuka quipped.

"Asuka, please stop…" Shinji muttered.

"Why should she?" Mari asked as they joined hands and took a bow.

"Yeah, it's way too much fun busting your balls." Asuka said.

" _Congratulations kids, you did well!_ " The MC said. " _Do you kids have anything to say?_ "

"Yes!" Mari said exuberantly. "Thank you all for voting for us to win! It's really awesome you think we're that good!"

"And when you're done here, swing by Class 2–A's cosplay café for a snack before you head home!" Shinji called out.

"Seriously?!" Asuka whispered angrily.

"What, think of the business we'll get for winning…" Shinji replied.

"You know… he has a point…" Mari whispered.

"Not you too…" Asuka whispered back.

"Yeah, come to the cosplay café where you get a meal with a view!" Mari joked.

* * *

June 8, 2019 – Tokyo–3 Senior High School, Class 2–A

At the end of the week, once class was over, and the festival almost an entire week past, Hikari kept the class after school to share some exciting news. There had been a celebratory party that day for the last hour of class in honor of the festival's overall success, so everyone was anxious to get home to continue the party off campus.

"So, everyone, on behalf of the student council, thank you for actively participating to the success of the school festival." Hikari said. "Now, I may not have liked the idea of a cosplay café, but everyone that came to the festival did."

"What do you mean?" Mari asked.

"What I mean is, out of all the stalls that sold stuff, we made the most profit." Hikari replied proudly.

"How much?" Toji asked.

"Well, the figures from the student council treasurer say we made a profit roughly five times more than what was spent." Hikari replied happily.

"Damn…" Asuka said.

"I guess the cosplay worked…" Kensuke muttered.

"Hell yeah!" Toji exclaimed loudly. "See, it wasn't such a bad idea if we made money off the deal."

" _We_  didn't make any money, the student council did." Hikari explained.

"Wait, we don't get none of the money?" Toji asked.

"Nope, it goes straight to the student council fund if it's ever needed, like for next year's festival." Hikari explained. "So that's a plus for us."

"Yeah, now can we do the same thing next year?" Toji asked.

"We can decide that then, as a class." Hikari replied. "Other than that, we can all had home for the weekend." Hikari smirked. "Except for Suzuhara and Aida. You two are on cleaning duty…"

"What for?" Toji asked.

"Because, I assigned you for today." Hikari said.

"Yeah, but there's a huge mess in here." Kensuke moaned.

"And there's a party!" Toji exclaimed.

"Well, it's your turn." Hikari said slyly. "If you hurry up, you can make it before the party's over." Hikari leaned over and kissed Toji. "See you later, stud."

As Hikari left the room with everyone else, Toji and Kensuke stood there dumbstruck. As they left the school grounds and got to the parking lot, Asuka turned to Hikari to ask her something.

"You know, I remember it being Rei and I's turn to clean the classroom." Asuka said. "Not that I'm complaining you changed it… but why did you change it?"

"Oh, just a little payback for them being lazy." Hikari chuckled. "And maybe a bit for making me dress up too…"

"Seriously, freckles?" Mari asked. "After they made all that money for the school?"

"Well, it was still dishonest of them to trick all the boys into voting for it." Hikari said. "Though mainly I thought they should finally do some work considering they just sat around a lot during the festival… they're gonna be cleaning the room every other day for a month because of that."

"Oh, Hikari, that's so devious…" Asuka chuckled. "I like it."

"Well… they do deserve it." Hikari said devilishly.

–––

Later that night, while Shinji and Asuka were cuddling in their room, Asuka needed to tell Shinji something important.

"Hey, Shinji, you were a good sport this week." Asuka said.

"About what?" Shinji asked.

"Dressing up like a girl." Asuka said. "It really meant a lot, even if you didn't like it."

"Well, we couldn't let the café fall apart…" Shinji said

"Still, you always do what's right no matter the cost." Asuka said. "It's something I admire in you Shinji…"

"You're the same way, Asuka." Shinji replied. "You wore that bunny outfit and didn't complain that much either."

"Well, then I guess we're both awesome." Asuka said.

"Asuka, being a good person has nothing to do with being awesome…" Shinji said.

"Stop ruining the moment, baka!" Asuka snapped playfully.

"I wasn't ruining the moment." Shinji said defensively.

"Well, you kinda did…" Asuka muttered.

"I love you, Asuka." Shinji said sweetly. "Because you're a great person."

"And there you go salvaging the moment…" Asuka replied. "I love you too, baka Shinji…"

* * *

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

As for the songs used in this chapter, I don't own them either, and they're listed below in order of appearance:  
Katy Perry –  _I Kissed a Girl_  (2008)  
Paramore –  _Still Into You_  (2013)

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place over two years after the end of Episode VI, a little over eight months since the previous one shot, and nine months before the start of Episode VII.

Not much to discuss on this particular one shot. It's your basic, almost clichéd, anime festival of sorts, complete with girls in cosplay, a few perverts coming up with ideas in between nosebleeds.

The idea for this one shot isn't very original, I did get the idea for it from the  _Shinji Ikari Raising Project_  manga, Stage 59 and Stage 60 where they participate in a school festival. It's not quite from the original source material in the show, but it's a fun bit of slice of life that I really felt like writing to balance out the end of this one shot series. While I did take a lot themes from it, I molded it to fit the context of this story, and I hope you've enjoyed it.

As for this being the ending of the one shots… yes that is true. This is the last one in this series. However, there are still two more Christmas one shots coming in December (2018), plus a lot more main story is left to go, so there won't be any lack of  _NGE: Legacy_  for quite a while at least. And I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank all my readers for their continued support. It's always wonderful to see that the story is viewed on a regular basis.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

* * *

つづく


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